bu Page 522 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is The Only Woman In The World Who Knows What It's Like To Get Caught Between Two Tim Tebows In Her Underwear
Your morning roundup for May 16, the day that Hickey got his edits from Lady Gaga. Tebow photo via @Lisa_Altobelli, who has the full shot....
Here's The Taj Gibson Dunk That Inspired Reggie Miller To Quote Martin Luther King On Air
The Bulls beat the Heat by 21 points at home in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals this evening. Taj Gibson, who finished with nine points and seven boards off the bench for Chicago, had the two best dunks of the game. The first left Reggie Miller speechless, and presumably on top of Steve Ke...
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The only thing better than Game Seven of an NBA playoff series is Game Seven of an NHL playoff series, Game Seven of MLB playoff series or an overtime playoff game in the NFL playoffs beyond the wild-card round. So, brace yourselves for the 3:30 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder/Memphis Grizzlies winner-t...
Chad Ochocinco Just Got Paid $210K To Get Thrown Off A Bull In 1.5 Seconds (Updated)
Here's video of the football player formerly known as Chad Johnson practicing the art of leaving the chute on the back of a bull. Of course, he's practicing on the back of a horse, and a horse that kind of ambles instead of bucks. That could explain, in part, why he only lasted 1.5 seconds on bull...
Man U Manager Alex Ferguson Charged With Earnestly Complimenting A Referee
Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United who recently served a five-game suspension and paid a £30,000 fine for criticizing a referee after a 2-1 loss in March, has once again been charged with improper conduct for publicly speaking about a referee....
The Bulging, Feces-Filled Sacs In Brock Lesnar's Colon As Metaphor For Brock Lesnar's MMA Career
Dana White and the UFC convened an emergency conference call yesterday to announce that human orca Brock Lesnar has come down with diverticulitis for a second time and will pull out of his fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 131. What, you may ask, is diverticulitis? The National Center for Biote...
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Chicago Bulls visit the Atlanta Hawks this evening. If the former wins, it's Chicago vs. Miami for the right to represent the NBA Eastern Conference in the NBA Championship. If the latter prevails, it's Chicago vs. Atlanta for the right to face Miami for the right to represent the NBA Eastern C...
The NBA Playoffs Are Less Important Than Hockey, Oprah
One of the underrated subplots of the playoffs is when non-sports events get scheduled for our nation's arenas, and the conflicts it causes when a team goes deep. We've had two notable instances of it already, with the Lightning and Bulls running up against two of the most powerful forces in enterta...
Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....
Patrick Kane's Offseason Begins With A Black Eye, Taking A Girl Home From A Club
Oh Kaner. We take a lot of shit for giving you shit, but you keep giving us shit to give you shit for....
Why Hockey Has Gone Totally Gay For The Latest Homophobia Debate
Hockey, for a sport that's nominally proactive in areas ranging from replay to concussions, has never been especially progressive. No one expects the openly gay pro athlete, the inevitable big story for the next decade, to come from the NHL. While other leagues have John Amaechi and Billy Bean and E...
Landon Donovan Is "A (Genitalia)head," And Other Things Of Note
Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation....
Turkish Soccer Fans Injure 25 Police Officers Rather Than Let Visiting Fans Into Their Stadium
No, this is not footage of a coup d'état in Turkey, this is footage of the violence that broke out between soccer fans before the Bursaspor-Beşiktaş game this past Saturday. The Turkish Football Federation had to cancel the game after angry fans rioted, injuring 25 policemen....
Jim Tressel At Last Reaps The Whirlwind: A Five-Day Compliance Seminar In June In Tampa
That's part of his punishment for not snitching on his players, the AP reports. Five-day compliance seminar in June in Tampa. What a brutal phrase. It's hard to say what the worst part is. "Five-day"? "June in Tampa"? "Compliance seminar"? In terms of coiled, compressed misery, "five-day compliance ...
Phil Jackson Agrees That His Career Has Been The "Bee's Knees"
Your morning roundup for May 9, the day we learned of the Village tree thief....
Jon Lester And Clay Buchholz Are The Latest Red Sox To Launch Charity Wines With Incredibly Dumb Names
Taking money from drunk Red Sox fans and giving it to cancer patients is a cause anyone can get behind (except perhaps liver cancer patients). Meeting with less approbation and more smirking are the names Longball Cellars has been slapping on its athlete-endorsed charity wine bottles. Jon Lester and...
Dance Show Contestant Hines Ward Sees Nothing Newsworthy About Getting Cuffed At Gunpoint Today
Hines Ward, who guest blogs about Dancing With The Stars for the Los Angeles Times, was driving home from a late dinner through North Hollywood early this morning when he "was briefly detained at gunpoint in a mix-up over a reported stolen car." Seems as if his ladyfriend (or friend who happens to ...
Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....
Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He Sees
Your morning roundup for May 4, the day we again discovered Xanadu in Jersey....
Teenager Robs, Carjacks PNC Park Usher, Leaves Him To Die
This story is all kinds of horrifying. And, yeah, in part because we've seen how many cops are present at Pirates games to tase drunk folks....