bu Page 523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Where In The World Is Jaromir Jagr?
No one knows where Jaromir Jagr, 39, the once-mulleted, twice-Stanley-Cup-champion is. (Jagr's planning on returning to the NHL after a three-year absence, and his agent told us to expect a decision soon.) But people have theories....

Luke Fickell Didn't Answer Terrelle Pryor's Call Because He Was At A Taylor Swift Concert
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the incoming coach and the outgoing QB, just ships passing in the night....

A Year Ago, Diamondbacks 3B Sean Burroughs Was Drinking 8 Slurpees Daily, Eating Cheeseburgers Out Of A Trash Can
Sean Burroughs, if you'll recall, was once the fraught golden boy of early 2000s NL baseball—the smooth-swinging Padres third baseman who could only hit singles. (His career isolated slugging percentage, .078, is only a fuzz better than Juan Pierre's.) But Burroughs has since resuscitated his pro ca...

Hunt For Beejoli Shah, Fabulist Author Of Viral "Quentin Tarantino Sucked My Toes!" Story Begins (UPDATE)
So, friendsicles: how many of you had the email from "beejoli" forwarded to you this morning and have subsequently sent it along to others? Dozens, I bet. Thousands even. Dozens of thousands probably. Its veracity is still unknown but I know Gawker is dutifully trying to track down "beejoli" to see ...

Today In Sad Pittsburgh Headlines
Pittsburgh to honor Ward's 'Dancing' win on Thursday: "The city of Pittsburgh will hold a rally at noon Thursday to honor Hines Ward's victory in ABC-TV's 'Dancing with the Stars' competition." [Post-Gazette]...

Why Your Fans Are Weird: The Bunny Man Of Yankee Stadium
We've seen the Bunny Man at enough Yankee games over the years to know he's got season tickets, and the felt rabbit handpuppet is doing his thing 100 percent of the time. Throughout the entire game the bunny sits on his lap, watching the game—he moves the puppet's head to follow the action on the ...

A Nick Charles Tribute, Featuring The Greatest Play You've Never Seen
While trolling YouTube for video of Nick Charles, who passed away over the weekend, I stumbled across this, uploaded by Mike Lortz after being found in a pile of VHS tapes: a CNN year-end best-of countdown. His interplay with Fred Hickman here is typically good-natured, and it wasn't an act: they ...

Here's To The Normal People Who Went To The Pittsburgh Furry Convention And Took 342 Pictures
Sometimes, words beyond "thank you, Penguins play-by-play guy Paul Steigerwald and Friends" are unnecessary. This is one of those times....

The Phillie Phanatic Isn't The Only Mascot Who Took A Ball To The Head Recently
Seeing video of the Phillie Phanatic take a foul ball to the face reminded tipster Kevin G. of when he saw "Buddy Bat" of Louisville Bats mascottery fame feel the wrath of a wild warm-up pitch to tha dome a few weeks back. To wit:...

Russia's Leading Scorer Tasered For Giving Jersey To A Fan, Then Police Deny It Ever Happened
Zenit St. Petersburg striker Danko Lazovic wanted to give some fans a meaningful souvenir—his shirt—after his team's 2-0 victory against FC Volga on Saturday. Instead, the Russian police decided to give him a meaningful burn on his side. Then they said it never happened, as you'll hear in the abov...

Here Are A Bunch Of Photos Of A Fiery NHRA Crash
Photographer Mark Rebilas sent over these bad-ass shots of NHRA Pro Mod driver Roger Burgess totally wrecking his '67 Firebird ride at 220 mph after crossing the Bristol Dragway finish line. Dude's a 60-year-old millionaire, says Rebilas, so $100,000 loss ain't no thang. If this is your type of thi...

RIP Clarence Clemons
"Clarence Clemons, the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, whose jovial onstage manner, soul-rooted style and brotherly relationship with Mr. Springsteen made him one of rock's most beloved sidemen, died Saturday at a hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. He was 69." [New York Times]...

Area Man Intervenes In Scooter-Based Road Rage Incident Involving Pirates Player, Still Has No Idea Who The Pirates Are
Pirates catcher Chris Snyder became embroiled in a road rage altercation on Wednesday while driving with his wife and two children. His wife nearly collided with Subhash Arjanbhi Modhwadia, a particularly short-fused fellow on a scooter. Modhwadia chased the Snyders to a gas station on his scooter....

Happy Father's Day: Here's A Steelers Apron With An Attached Fake Penis
Could it be made with the patterned logo of a team other than the Steelers? I suppose so, but, you know, no one other than Pittsburgh fans have asked about it....

The Slow, Sad Death Of A Riot's Symbol
Why do they do it? It’s hard to stand on the outside and watch people try to burn their city down. It’s even harder to understand the mentality of someone who morphs from sports fan to looter, pillager, criminal. What is in the mind of the rioter?...

Brett Keisel's Neptunian Beard Will Be Forever Commemorated On This Idiot's Forearm
Johnny Menesini, a caterer from Pittsburgh, had Brett Keisel's bearded mug (which is no longer so bearded) tattooed on his forearm recently. We must say that it looks very nice — despite being a giant face on an elbow crease....

Stay Soft, Dirk Nowitzki
Even before Dirk Nowitzki lifted a championship trophy on Sunday night, he was being held up as a new man. Nowitzki had reinvented himself, we were told. He'd finally "shed" the Euro-soft label plastered to him throughout his career and, to much adulation, morphed into the sort of rugged warrior tha...

PGA's Young Golfers Form Parody Boy Band, Sing And Rap Horribly, We All Die A Little Inside
Tipster William writes in to alert us to "some kind of music group [Bubba Watson, Rickie Fowler, Hunter Mahan, and Ben Crane] have put together." He says it seems like it's a joke and publicity stunt. And it's "very, very lame."...

Bills Fan's Cock 'N' Balls Make The Newspaper (SFWish)
Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse....

The Twitter Flameout Of Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner
SB Nation discovered ol' Harvey on Twitter on Friday. By Saturday, he had called it a Twitter career....