bu Page 565 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Of All The Horrible Moves The NHL Has Made, This Is...Maybe Not Even Top 10
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jack Wilson, Ian Snell Released From Pirate Jail
Pittsburgh gives Seattle their shortstop and a nervous nellie pitcher in exchange for a vanload of prospects and an autographed picture of Sasquatch. [MLB.com]...

Shy, Retiring Sort Shockingly Takes To Ustream
Chad Ocho Cinco's doing the Marbury thing on Ustream, minus the God and most of the crazy. At last check, he was wearing a robe, calling Lil Wayne on speakerphone and saying things like, "I'm the new ESPN, man." [Ustream]...

Heck Of A Career, Jim, But Can You DH Tomorrow?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Pirates Try To Give Seats Away, Fail Miserably
In anticipation of low ticket sales for the Nationals' visit, Pittsburgh tried out an innovative promotion that could have made winners of everyone. They made the mistake of tying the promotion to their success on the field....

One Fan Who Wasn't Invited To Super Mario's Pool Party
No wonder the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. They had a homeless, bipolar man sending them Christian music CDs, notes with dietary suggestions — no sweets! — and vitamin tips. And people say home ice is an advantage. [Post-Gazette/Puck Daddy]...

Reggie Bush Prepares For Training Camp By Losing Roughly 140 Lbs.
Good news today for all you ass fetishists (that is to say, men). Reggie Bush and saucy Armenian booty princess Kim Kardashian are officially busto....

Marbury's Frayed Ends Of Sanity
Marbury's captivating online experiment continued into late last night and, at one point, he wept. The culprit? Kirk Franklin's "Lean On Me." Did Ed Harris ever come down from his tower studio and explain to Stephon "the situation?" [YouTube]...

Hank Aaron's Convoluted Logic Could Put Pete Rose In The Hall Of Fame
Reports from baseball's Hall of Fame weekend say that Bud Selig is considering the possible reinstatement of Pete Rose, thanks in part to lobbying from current Hall members—i.e., arrogant and confused old men....

Plaxico Burress Should Get Used To Confined Spaces
Manhattan's District Attorney says any plea deal with Plaxico Burress (remember that hilarious gun accident?) will involve jail time. (And Antonio Pierce isn't off the hook either.) It's almost like they're mad at him for breaking the law! [NY Post]...

Okay, Stephon Marbury Is Yelling At The Internet Right Now...
Please watch. "Have I lost my mind? Keep thinking that..." I will! [StarburyTV]...

Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....

T.O. Explains To Trent Edwards Exactly When He'll Make His Life Miserable
T.O. drives the Buffalonians bananas on his first day at mini-camp. You get the impression that this is the one place in the NFL universe where his spectacle isn't only welcome, but desperately needed. (PHOTO: H/T William V.) [Buffalo News]...

I Know Steve Bartman And This Man Is No Steve Bartman
See this fan? He almost grabbed the ball that DeWayne Wise caught to save Mark Buehrle's perfect game. He should feel, really, really, really bad. [Washington Times]...

The Gospel Of Stephon Marbury
Do I believe in aliens?" Stephon Marbury asked. "I don't know, because I've never seen one. But I believe in Jesus because I saw him in the shower the other day." OK, you win. Time to tune in....

Spend Your Day Tracking Stephon Marbury's Eclecticism
As Skeets (SKEETS!) noted: This is unreal. [UStream]...

You Are Sort Of There For Buehrle's Perfect Game
An unemployed blogger provides an on-the-scene report from Mark Buehrle's perfect game. Well, as on-the-scene as you can get from the top of the bleachers. [Tremendous Upside Potential]...

Mark Buehrle Didn't Pitch Much Out Of The Stretch Today
Isn't it nice to have an actual sports story to cover? After the jump, we'll break down Mark Buehrle's perfect game in pictures, numbers, and ritual sacrifices....

The Catch That Saved Mark Buehrle's Perfect Game
DeWayne Wise—a ninth-inning defensive replacement—robs Gabe Kapler of a home run (nearly dropping the ball in the process) and saving the day for pitcher Mark Buehrle. That's what we in the business call "clutch." [Video via Comcast]...

And Now, Let's Jinx Mark Buehrle Is Unjinxable (UPDATE)
Mark Buehrle is six three outs away from a perfect in Chicago. Twenty-seven up, 27 down. With no walks, hit batsmen or errors! First perfect game in the big leagues since 2004. [Gamecast]...