bu Page 564 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Now There's This: Sean Salisbury Really Is Suing Us
Sean Salisbury has made good on his promise and filed a defamation lawsuit in Texas against Gawker Media. His attorney tells the Frisco Enterprise that we've waged a "long-running smear campaign" against his client....

Mutton But The Truth
I can think of no better way to end this week than with a photo of a bootless child being maimed by a haughtily superior sheep as a rodeo clown tries vainly to help. Unpack this metaphor as you will....

Cheddar Plax Jokes Get NYPD In Hot Water
You shoot yourself in the leg, people are going to say you pulled a Plaxico. Sorry, that's how it is. But one teen is suing the cops for making just that obvious joke....

Jerry Buss Throws One Heck Of A Birthday Party
Lakers owner Jerry Buss seems like a fun guy. He loves poker, has at least one DUI, and has no problems with his daughter posing in Playboy and dating a much older man. Also, he's a frequent brothel customer....

ESPN Horndog Dossier: The Glossary And Denouement (JED DRAKE UPDATE)
We'll end this scandal-ridden ride on the back of the scorpion with a more general story about the behavior many ESPN employees past and present engage in as part of the "travel" crew. And where's there's road, there is beef....

ESPN Horndog Dossier: Kate Lacey
Who? Exactly. Lacey, SVP of Marketing for ESPN, was a popular subject in our tips box dating back to last year. Why? Why do people despise this woman so much?...

ESPN Horndog Dossier: Erik Kuselias (UPDATED)
Who? Right. Exactly. But Mr. Kuselias, as tiny an orb as he may be in the ESPN galaxy, has solidified his reputation as "the biggest douchebag in the place," according to multiple sources. But what about that sex-harassment thing?...

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sexual Depravity
On September 9, we received a tip. Subject: "S. Phillips." The contents? "Rumor winding it's way around the hallowed halls of the WWL is that Steve Phillips is getting canned tomorrow for an offense on par with Harold Reynold's misdeed."...

Bissinger Continues His <em>Moneyball</em> Trolling
Buzz Bissinger, shit-pissing author of Three Nights as Tony La Russa's Sock Puppet, is back on his battered old Moneyball hobbyhorse, firing off angry fallacies left and right. [TNR, of all places]...

Jeff Reed: Defender Of Public Urination
Now we know the real truth behind Jeff Reed's cop trouble last night, and I owe him an apology. Reed was merely trying to defend his teammate—tight end Matt Spaeth—from police intimidation....after Spaeth was caught peeing in public....

Jeff Reed Still Has The Magic Touch
The Liquor Kicker got cited for public intoxication and disorderly conduct after stumbling from Heinz Field down to McFadden's Bar after the game yesterday. Fortunately, he got pinched by 9 p.m. so he could still get his sleep. [WPXI]...

Your Early Games Open Thread
Perhaps as restitution for last week's Raiders debacle, the NFL is blessing most of us with two great games to start the day. Let's follow along with the Shockeybowl and Favre actually facing a competent defense. [The506]...

We're Not Going To Have Stephon Marbury To Kick Around This Season
Marbury reports that he has 'shut everything down,' taking the season off to work on his businesses..." I wonder if he's referring to his shoe company or finally working on his comedy pilot, Tokin' With Jesus. [New York Post]...

Stacy Andrews Accused Of Lovingly Punching Girlfriend
I always got Eagles offensive linemen Shawn Andrews and Stacy Andrews confused. But now I have a handy way of distinguishing the two: Shawn is insane, and Stacy is accused of face-punching his lady....

Terror Alert Level Lowered: The Thurman Thomas Tree Has Been Recovered
A wood carving of everyone's favorite Tecmo Bowl player (Bo Jackson is for noobs) went missing from outside Ralph Wilson Stadium yesterday. But no worries, as it's turned up across the border....

Sean Salisbury And The Infinite Sadness (UPDATE)
More bad news. It appears his home in Frisco, Texas is not in good shape according to these legal looking documents that suggest he's a little behind on his payments....

Your Early Games Open Thread
So what if the Giants are forced to resort to their second string QB? The Raiders have to resort to their first-stringer. Enjoy watching the Oakland game, America. You poor bastards. [The506]...

It's Always Bitey In Philadelphia
We're still trying to sort out what went down, but it looks like Kris Letang's hand got a little too close to Scott Hartnell's mouth. He might want to get tested for rabies....

Georgia Bodypainter Shouts The Virtues Of A Nice Base Layer
This video sort of defies analysis, so I'll just set it up this way and trust you to watch the whole thing: This man is not an albino pro wrestler. Just a very intense and very white Georgia Bulldogs fan....

Your Depressing Pirates Story For The Day
Pittsburgh farmhand Eric Hacker finally made his major league debut last week at PNC Park, a nice moment for which one lone fan applauded. One. And now the fan's been found. Fittingly, he writes horror novels....