bu Page 610 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Baby Is Not A Public Relations Stooge
Continuing in the grand tradition of cute tiny babies being terrified by professional athletes photos — a genre that hit its pinnacle with this legendary shot — we present this photo of Stephon Marbury, about to be backhanded by a child who doesn't want those cheap-ass ugly shoes....

If They Take Away Reggie Bush's Heisman, Did It Really Happen?
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they'...

The Internet Is Changing All Our Lives, Every Day
The site is JoeBuckHasASkinnyWeiner.com. And, well, it's pretty much what it says. With sound. The information superhighway, man, it's just the double plus bestest....

When Male Cheerleaders Attack
We'd like to congratulate THE Ohio State University for their convincing victory over Texas on Saturday night. We are also pleased that the Buckeyes waited until 2006 to beat the Longhorns, rather than 2005; last year's game was in Columbus, this one was in Austin and that meant all fires and riot...

An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts....

Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....

It's About Damned Time Charlie Batch Got Some National TV Exposure
You know the NFL season is upon us when Charlie Batch fastens his chinstrap and storms onto the field. It's really what the league's all about, no?...

Stephon Marbury Is Really Hungry For Some Reason
One of our favorite jokes on The Smoking Gun is the big list of backstage demands all the different rock stars have. There's something beautiful about learning that Kansas insists on being provided prune juice....

NFL Pants Party: NFC South
Well, no matter what happens with the NFC South, we will always know they have the most adventurous cheerleaders. Nothing to turn up one's nose at....

NFL Pants Party: AFC North
This might be our favorite division in football. Big Ben's bashed up face/appendix combo, Joey Porter, the Bengals cavalcade of feloniousness, Ray Lewis and sex tapes and murder raps ... oh, and the Browns too. What do the kids think?...

NFL Pants Party: AFC East
Personally, we think the AFC East would be a lot more fun to make predictions for if Troy Brown had to play quarterback for the Patriots every game. Oh, and is Culpepper organizing the rookie party for the Dolphins this year?...

Joey Porter's Eye On Romance
The best reason for seemingly archaic magazines like Sports Illustrated to exist is to humanize our athletes, to take them off the stat pages and bring them to life through real, vivid prose. (That, these days, runs about 1,100 words.) We can think of no other example than this week's profile of Ste...

NFL Season Preview: Pittsburgh Steelers
(We're still taking the day off, but we thought we'd toss this out there for you, so you had something today. Plus, it's really good. See you tomorrow.)...

Roethlisberger's Appendix Does Not Survive NFL Roster Cuts
Ben Roethlisberger had an emergency appendectomy today, leaving him out for the Steelers opener this Thursday against the Dolphins. Funny, I thought his liver would be the first to go....

NFL Season Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Burritos
We are in a difficult position here, trying to summarize why burritos became such a large part of the Deadspin psyche. You see, we really had absolutely nothing to do with it....

We Saw Chris Simms Make A Spinach Dip In A Loaf Of Sourdough Bread Once
Now. We don't want to cast aspersions. We know how life in an NFL locker room goes. You're with each other for half the year, sweating, bleeding, killing yourself out there for the sake of a common goal. You develop a kinship that cannot be quantified by any conventional standards....

Fired Up In Buckeye Land
We're still a week and a half away from the second consecutive Jeez, Is It This Important Already? Bowl between Ohio State and Texas, but, as you would probably expect, they're appropriately fired up in the Columbus area....

Somehow, These Guys Weren't A Big Hit In Pittsburgh
The Pittsburgh Pirates were having a fireworks night at PNC Park on Thursday. They beat the Astros and the whether was nice, and everyone was having a good time. Until Me First and the Gimme Gimmes took the stage....

NFL Season Preview: Buffalo Bills
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...