bulls Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sad Derrick Rose's Sad Knees Are Achy
Remember, like, a week ago, when we were hearing all kinds of stories out of the Team USA basketball camp about how Derrick Rose was back, and people were sharing clips of him seemingly doing Derrick Rose things? ...
Texas Athletic Director Channels Donald Sterling
The millionaire administrators who prop up the NCAA often say deeply, deeply stupid things when defending their right to make millions of dollars off of the unpaid labor of athletes, but what University of Texas athletic director Steve Patterson said in this month's issue of Texas Monthly deserves...
Minor-League Pitchers Combine To Finish Very Strange No-Hitter
Logan Darnell of the Rochester Red Wings, a Triple-A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins, put the finishing touches on a no-hitter against the Durham Bulls Monday night. Darnell only pitched the last six innings of the game, though, and the man who originally started the game isn't even a member of the...
MLS Player Gets His Dick Grabbed, Gets A Yellow Card For Flopping
It's really hard to say who comes off worse here. On the one hand, we've got New York Red Bulls defender Jamison Olave clearly grabbing a handful of Real Salt Lake forward Olmes Garcia's dick and balls. On the other hand, we've got Garcia shamelessly diving and trying to sell the idea that Olave lit...
Watch Arsenal Players Try And Fail To Talk Like New Yorkers
We've all had one too many drinks and suddenly decided it was a great time to impress people with our spot-on English accent. Right? Right?!? ...
Thierry Henry Doesn't Give A Shit That He Just Scored A Goal
Thierry Henry popped in a goal in the 45th minute Saturday to put the New York Red Bulls up 2-1 over the Columbus Crew, but he wasn't in the mood to celebrate....
Bill Hillmann: I Got Gored By A Fucking Bull
On Wednesday, Bill Hillmann was gored while running with the bulls in Pamplona. A journalist, novelist, and former boxer, Bill and I have known each other since our time at Columbia College Chicago, where even then he was recognized for his frontline reportage, some of which has since appeared aro...
So The Bulls Really Want Carmelo Anthony
Chicago is coming on strong with a Knicksian thirst....
Report: Melo Will Opt Out Of Knicks Contract, Become Free Agent
We have a Sunday Wojbomb. Carmelo Anthony will reportedly opt out of his contract with the Knicks and test free agency....
I Took TED's Stupid Grit Quiz!
If you're a sports fan like I am, you know that championships aren't won with talent or sound strategy or even proper personnel evaluation. They are won with HUSTLE and HEART and ECKSTEINIAN fortitude that cannot be measured, because measuring things is for nerds and pussies. ...
Nene Suspended One Game For Head-Butting Jimmy Butler
Wizards big man Nene has been suspended for Game 4 against the Bulls after this altercation with Jimmy Butler. Early in the fourth quarter of the Bulls win over Washington, Nene head-butted Butler, then grabbed him around the head and neck, and the two had to be pulled apart by referees and teamma...
Joakim Noah Got Into A Shouting Match With Wizards' Security
NBA teams enjoy many advantages when playing on their home court, but the Washington Wizards appear to have one thing going for them that others don't: a head of security who isn't afraid to get into it with visiting players....
Even The Chicago Bulls' Security Staff Is Sick Of Joey Crawford's Shit
The Chicago Bulls have set up a kind of text-message hotline that fans can use to hail the assistance of the arena's security team. Reader Dave was at the game between the Bulls and the Wizards last night, and he tried his luck at getting referee Joey Crawford—who made a number of bad calls and whom...
Did Nene's Whistle From The Bench Make Hinrich Miss His Foul Shot? (No.)
Last night in overtime of the Wizards-Bulls game, Kirk Hinrich went to the line with 2.4 seconds left, the score 101-99, and a chance to tie the game. But he missed! How could this be? Last night, we thought it was because he was a clutch gene-free, low-motor choke artist. But today, we may have our...
Rich Asshole Mark Emmert Says He'd Be Happy To Be An Unpaid Athlete
NCAA president Mark Emmert was a guest on Dan Patrick's show this morning, and he said all the stupid things we've heard him say many times before while trying to defend the scam that is the NCAA. The entire interview is worth a listen, because Patrick isn't afraid to challenge Emmert, but I partic...
Joakim Noah's Awkward Brilliance Now Available In Illustrated Gifs
Just in time for the playoffs, illustrator Chris Edser has put together a great series of gifs capturing the awkward magic of Joakim Noah, the gangliest of the NBA's elite talent. You couldn't ask for a better representation of player who does many things well and few things gracefully....
Don't Tell Joakim Noah It's Snowing Again
It snowed across much of the Midwest last night, including in Chicago, where reporters had to break the news to Joakim Noah just as he was enthusing over the delightful spring weather. We are all Joakim Noah....
Dickgoal Attempt Fails As Péguy Luyindula Ends Up With Nothing But Pain
You can use a lot of body parts to score a goal: your feet, your knees, your head, et cetera. You can also try using your dick, but it's not likely to turn out very well....
Michael Carter-Williams Travels, Remembers He's On The 76ers
The 76ers were down two possessions with 16 seconds left against the Bulls. Barring a huge screwup, Philadelphia wasn't pulling out the win. Regardless, Michael Carter-Williams still tried to score quickly, until he was called for traveling. After the turnover, his body language said fuck everything...