burns Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Andre Iguodala Delivers Withering Assessment Of Matthew Dellavedova
After getting thumped in the dick by Matthew Dellavedova last night, you knew Andre Iguodala would have something to say. Rather than going fire and brimstone, he delivered a devastating series of backhanded compliments, essentially calling Dellavedova a YMCA scrub. “To make a life, and to feed thei...

Twitter User Jim Harbaugh Roasts "Amazing" Nick Saban
There’s been a fairly mundane controversy swirling about the college football offseason regarding the legality of satellite football camps (little coaching clinics put on by schools used as a recruiting tactic) and whether or not head coaches should attend. In April, the NCAA banned satellite camps,...

Spelling Bee Twitter Account Burns Dude So Hard He Deleted His Account In Shame
If you’re gonna try to roast the Spelling Bee for being soft, the worst sin you can commit is bringing that weak shit (noun: substandard effort or soft response, e.g. “Kevin liked the Warriors, but they lost because they brought that weak shit.”)....

How Joe Pavelski Became A Tip Machine
It was, is, and will be for at least the next 36 hours the most important goal in Sharks history. Joe Pavelski’s redirection of a Brent Burns shot broke a third-period tie and stood up the rest of the way, the winner in a 6-3 victory that brings San Jose to within one game of the Stanley Cup Finals,...

Don't Leave Brent Burns Open
Back east we’ve got two fast, hard-hitting, well-rounded teams, that frankly play fairly similar games. Out west is a more intriguing clash of styles: The Blues are more defensive minded, more deliberate, more physical, while the Sharks thrive on offense, speed, puck movement, and the most exciting ...

How The Sharks' Power Play Will Bite You From Any Angle
If you had the entire NHL to draft from, you might not be able to construct a more logical top power-play unit than the one the Sharks can ice every night. Maybe not the “best”—third best in the NHL this year, though—but there’s not another that’s so well-defined, that offers such weapons from every...

Man Smashes Pads
A man smashed some pads last night, or— as is apparently another way to say this—“blasted some mitts.” ...

Don Mattingly's Marlins Take A Lesson From Mr. Burns And Ban Facial Hair
Let’s all go back to 1992, when The Simpsons’ “Homer At The Bat” first aired. Mr. Burns recruits a bunch of ballplayers as ringers for his softball team, including Don Mattingly. Here’s a very good, long piece on the episode, and how it got made....

PSV Defender Promises To Eat Atlético Madrid Like His Soup, Which He Then Burns His Mouth On
PSV will play host to Atlético Madrid and the best defense in Europe next week, but new PSV defender Nicolas Isimat-Marin ain’t scared. He declared in a video interview with the team’s YouTube page that he was going to eat Los Rojiblancos like soup....

Ohio State Players Tease Defensive Coordinator For Talking About His New Job
Ohio State defensive coordinator Chris Ash has been hired to be the new head coach at Rutgers, and he wants everyone to know how excited he is about the new job:...

Even The Rubin Kazan Manager Is Burning Chelsea
Chelsea are struggling mightily, in 15th place in the Premier League and beset by infighting and reports that coach José Mourinho is about to be fired. But today they sunk to a new low, seen as such a laughingstock across Europe that even the manager of a mediocre Russian club is ripping on them. ...

Bob Costas To Apologize For Epically Raw Burn On Pedro Strop
Bob Costas will apologize to Pedro Strop for launching into an inexplicable, hilarious, and just plain dirty burn on the Cubs reliever after Strop’s poor outing Friday night....

Holy Shit, Bob Costas
Pedro Strop didn’t have the best performance out of the Cubs’ pen tonight, giving up a homer and then putting two more guys on base. But it apparently infuriated MLB Network’s Bob Costas, who hammered Strop with a burn so raw we can’t even endorse it:...


IRS Goober Hits FIFA With A Tasty Burn
There were a lot of important things to discuss at today’s Department of Justice press conference about the corruption charges being brought against FIFA, but let’s worry about that stuff later. For now, we can focus on this dude from the IRS, who stepped up to the podium and unleashed hell:...

Burn
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Minnesota Timberwolves Hit Kevin Love With A Solid Burn
For the first time since being traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers, Kevin Love will play a game against his former team, the Minnesota Timberwolves, in Minnesota tonight. To show everyone just how pumped they are for the return of their former star, the T-Wolves put together this very well-produced hy...

Which Athlete Was The Best At Hanging Out With A Penguin?
By sheer coincidence, athletes from three different teams in three different places hung out with penguins today. But we need to know: Who was the best?...

Someone Didn't Bring Their Sunblock To The Cancun Challenge
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