butt Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Buttsaw That Is The NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals
Well. That happened. If anything this exercise in permanent body desecration has taught me this: I will never, ever bet on the Philadelphia Eagles again....
Littlest Peoria Hockey Fan Pushes Back Against "Cha Cha Slide"
Last Friday during a minor league hockey game in Peoria, Illinois, a ray of light emerged amongst a raging cyclone of evil, wicked line dances....
Anarchy At The UCLA Undie Run As Girls Seen Kissing Other Girls
When our money is worthless and society completely breaks down, I'm certain it will look a lot like the UCLA Undie Run. It happened last night, and this time there's video. Following the jump....
Mandatory Sports Buttbuddy Restraining Orders (Featuring A Vicious Correction To Norby)
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. NFL insider and handy whipping post Peter King drew the...
Brandon Marshall Isn't Ready To Wipe With His Right Hand Yet
You might recall when Denver Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall said back in March that he hurt his arm slipping on a McDonald's bag. That turned out to be a fib; he was just roughhousing with some family members and accidentally put his hand through a TV screen. But now it's June and he looks a...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your robbery attempt is foiled by a rodeo clown ... • Major League Lacrosse: Philadelphia at Long Island (9:30 p.m., ET). I am so down with this. NBA Finals, you never had a chance. [ESPN2] • NBA: Finals, Game 1, Los Angeles Lakers at Boston (9 p.m., ET). Boston-area smugness ind...
This Letter To The Editor Comes From The Skull
Selena Roberts might believe that the athletes and reporters have drifted as far away from each other as possible, but they might beg to differ in Cameroon. There, the relationship is a little more strained....
If Joe Buck Does This With Favre Sunday, Watch Out
Many viewers have expressed their disgust with the comments of analyst Roger Rasheed, but we think the blame rests more with the guy in the production truck who provided the slow motion replay of Serena Williams' buttocks. At a certain point, didn't Rasheed have to say something?...
About Last Night
What you missed while discovering that White Russians and red wine make for a diabolical combination... • NBA: Josh Howard and Deron Williams put on a spectacular display of point accumulation. • CBB: Dayton stuns Louisville while my guitar Flubby gently weeps. • Boxing: Floyd Mayweathe, you magnifi...
Peruvian Soccer Fans Are Easily Offended
In Peru, Efrain Viafara, a midfielder for Sport Ancash, created an uproar when he used his buttocks to trap the ball. His bit of unorthodox skill was interpreted as a mocking act by Universitario players, who chased Viafara. Fans began to fight in the stands, then poured onto the field before the re...
The Culinary Genius Of Bill Belichick
For some reason, today seems like a really, really, r-e-a-l-l-y slow sports day. Maybe it's because the NFL lineup at 1:00 is substandard. Maybe it's because Dan Shanoff is making nary a sound as he quietly crunchees the numbers to see if a three-loss team can make the BCS championship game. So t...
They Should See His Swatch Collection
I think we can all agree that OJ has regained his status as a constant source of entertainment. The former running back/pitchman/double-murderer is back in the news this weekend after thanks to his latest controversy, a phony Rolex. Someone in the Goldman camp noticed that the Juice was sporting a w...
Raise Your Hands If You're the Boom King
One night, two games, and two walk off hits. Frankly I think we deserved this, these playoff games are longer than Drew's Jambaroo. Manny Ramirez answered my prayers (not for a Red Sox win, just for the sweet release of sleep) and ended the long night with a thrilling walk-off homer to break the 3-3...
Appalachian State Fans Are Still, Well, Appalachians
We can understand that Appalachian State fans would want to remember their upset victory over Michigan forever, keep it close to them so that, in moments of despair, they can remember that anything is possible, that the world can be a transformative place. (Particularly when Michigan is terrible.) B...
He's A LumberJax And He's OK
Now you, too, can have a career in professional lacrosse. Just marry the owner! It's easy, and will result in absolutely no ribbing in the team locker room for years to come....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while eating 15 million ice-cream treats ... • MLB: Sheff hits an "all the way black" granny in Tigers' 6-3 win. • Cycling: Belgian Tom Boonen takes Tour's 6th stage on a BMX bike. • CFL: Bombers lose to Inuit; Stegall still stuck on history....
The Pirates Care Not For Your "Protest"
As anyone who has watched a Baltimore Orioles game in the last decade knows, fan protests never work. They're usually more of a boon for the radio station that sponsors them than anyone else. Not that it's a problem; they garner some publicity and allow a bunch more fans to leave a game early, all t...