Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch.
This John Calipari cake is impressively accurate—though the nose is a little wide, the other details are spot on, like the mole on his cheek—but it would not be enjoyable to see this face peering into my window at night. Ever.
To celebrate Wrigley Field's 100th birthday yesterday, the Cubs commissioned "The Edible Confines," a 5'x5', 400-pound cake version of Wrigley. It took four bakers six days to make. It took one day to be unceremoniously trashed, much like a century's worth of Cubs fans' hopes and dreams.
After trotting out Muhammad Ali like a show pony, the Marlins owner welcomed friends and colleagues to his luxury suite on opening night with this cake: a custom made replica of Marlins Park. That bigass logo? It's 3,600 crystals. Probably worth more than your life. I swear to god, this thing better not have a working…