campaigns - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

2016 Presidential Campaign Merch, Ranked
2016 Presidential Campaign Merch, RankedFrom $1,000 copies of the Constitution to $75 guacamole bowls to “Grillary Clinton” aprons, the world of presidential campaign merchandise is a strange one, and nowhere is that clearer than on the internet, where some of our illustrious candidates have launched merch stores that come in every degree...
The Nationals Have "Natitude," And Stephen Strasburg Is Starting To Think "Dynasty"
The Nationals Have "Natitude," And Stephen Strasburg Is Starting To Think "Dynasty"There are legitimate reasons for the Washington Nationals to think they're ready to contend this season: Stephen Strasburg, Ryan Zimmerman, and Bryce Harper are healthy; and Edwin Jackson and Gio Gonzalez have been brought in to help the cause. But Strasburg is already looking past contending—he's a...
Nickelback Somehow Victorious In <i>Nickelback v. The People Of Detroit</i>
Nickelback Somehow Victorious In <i>Nickelback v. The People Of Detroit</i>More than 50,000 people signed a Change.org petition to keep Nickelback from performing at the Lions' Thanksgiving Day game, and somehow, Nickelback still won. This absolutely has everything to do with 11/11/11. [CBS Detroit]...
Jesse Ventura Is Sick Of America, Plans To Become Mexican
Former professional wrestler turned former action movie hero turned former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura is about to turn Mexican, the AP reports. Ventura is ticked off that he lost a lawsuit against the federal government (of the USA) on Thursday, alleging that airport scans and pat-downs amou...
Help Us Finish "The Snydering" (Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction)
As you may have heard, Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit against the Washington City Paper is no more. Which means we will no longer be posting a daily link to the story that so enraged Snyder (and which he failed to read). But we still have to wrap up The Snydering, our satirical, non-libelous Dan Sn...
Almost Six Years Later, One MMA Fighter Is Still Campaigning For The UFC's Fastest Knockout
Way back in January 2006 (Did they have cell phones back then?), Duane "Bang" Ludwig scored a flash knockout of glass-jawed Jonathan Goulet at UFC Fight Night 3. Ludwig did it with one punch. He did it in four seconds, according to the official clock. That'd make it the fastest knockout in UFC his...
Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...
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There&#39;s A Campaign To Keep Nickelback From Performing At The Winnipeg Jets&#39; First Game, Because Nickelback Sucks

There's A Campaign To Keep Nickelback From Performing At The Winnipeg Jets' First Game, Because Nickelback Sucks

Mon Jun 17 2013
Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder&#39;s Dumbass Libel Suit

Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit

Mon Jun 17 2013
A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction

A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction

Mon Jun 17 2013
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss

Mon Jun 17 2013
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend

Mon Jun 17 2013
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac

Mon Jun 17 2013
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part III: The Fetid Breath Of The Bligle

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part III: The Fetid Breath Of The Bligle

Mon Jun 17 2013
George H.W. Bush Quiets Any Excitement Anyone Was Able To Muster For MLB All-Star Game

George H.W. Bush Quiets Any Excitement Anyone Was Able To Muster For MLB All-Star Game

Mon Jun 17 2013
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: &quot;... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss&#39;s&quot;

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"

Mon Jun 17 2013
These Adorable Kids Are Going To Take Down MLB&#39;s Iron-Fisted Video Regime, But We Still Need Your Help

These Adorable Kids Are Going To Take Down MLB's Iron-Fisted Video Regime, But We Still Need Your Help

Mon Jun 17 2013
We Are All Dave McKenna XCI

We Are All Dave McKenna XCI

Mon Jun 17 2013
We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)

We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)

Mon Jun 17 2013
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