capitalism - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



Never Forget Dan Snyder's "Fifth Anniversary Of 9/11" Skins Caps
Today marks the 12th anniversary of Dan Snyder selling five-year anniversary 9/11 memorabilia for profit....

Here's The Story Behind The Oafish Pro-Trump Ad That Ran During The NHL Playoffs Last Night
Virtually any day of the year, there is no real reason why you or anyone else should be watching CNBC. If you are someone who follows or cares about financial news, you really probably shouldn’t be watching television to keep up with it. If you are someone who likes watching a bunch of gray-faced ol...

One Sketchy Photo Shoot Landed This Woman's Face On Everything From Bottled Water To Vaginal Cream
Katy Gaines made her world debut on a billboard ad for a health food store in Portugal. Shortly afterwards, she popped up hawking cell phone data on the side of a bus in Oslo. Even in Orange County, where Gaines grew up, a friend recognized her on the pamphlet for a teeth whitening treatment. She’s ...

Ronald Acuña's Stupid Demotion And The Things We Don't Even Notice Anymore
Let’s do the first things first: barring catastrophic injury or equally catastrophic organizational cynicism, Ronald Acuña will be playing left field for the Atlanta Braves sometime fairly soon. This is because Ronald Acuña, who is the consensus top positional prospect in the minors, looks for all t...

What A Depressing Offseason
The caveats are caveats, but they do exist. Mike Moustakas is not a superstar, for reasons that are easy enough to identify. He has mostly been a decent defender at an important position, but his defense was unexpectedly and undeniably poor last year; he is a good hitter with real power, but not an ...

The Only Thing That Works About The NFL Is Football
My friend tackled Shaun Alexander. Not recently, I should note. This was years ago, and years before the brief period during which Alexander was the best running back on earth. Alexander led the league in rushing in 2005 and was voted NFL MVP by the Associated Press, and then was out of the league ...

I Just Love This Juicero Story So Much
Of all the amazing sentences and couplets and paragraphs in this wonderful Bloomberg story about the troubles of a juice and juice-press technology company called Juicero Inc., I think the following is my favorite:...

This Letter Is Capitalism's Dream And America's Nightmare
One of the many terrifying aspects of having Donald Trump as president is that he, like all children, is very easily persuaded. Single meetings and conversations can shape his entire, pliable worldview. The wolves of corporate America know what easy prey looks like....

Window And Aisle Seats <i>Should</i> Cost More, Sorry
I’m not buying the anecdote that anchors the New York Times’ latest comically obvious business-trend alert. A Ms. Maury Rogoff claims that on a recent flight, she was not only cursed with a middle seat, but also that said seat left her smack-dab between a bickering couple who argued around her, impe...

A Proud Parent's Guide To Dominating Girl Scout Cookie Season
For all the fathers and mothers out there, when Girl Scout Cookie season rolls around, your first and foremost emotion should be relief. It could be worse: You could be dealing with a Boy Scout instead. Those poor saps have to sell popcorn. It’s clearly an inferior product. Everyone loves cookies!...

Rams And Chargers Fans! Let Us Help You Say Goodbye To Your Owners
Congratulations, Rams and Chargers fans! Your favorite teams have just abandoned you in favor of playing football at sunny and beautiful LAX International Airport. What a thrill! This brings to an end a sometimes contentious process that will, at long last, leave you in the dust and enrichen owners ...

NBA Shit List: The Philadelphia 76ers, Who Are Capitalism's Diarrhea
Something confounding is happening in Philadelphia. The meanest, vilest, prosthetic-leg-stealingest fanbase in American sports has gone soft for its garbage basketball team, apparently because management promised them a present if they'll all just behave and eat their garbage basketball each nig...