cardinals Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phil Jackson's Zenergy Lulled At Least One Person To Sleep In L.A. Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real violent. Like, spitting in faces and hitting people with cars violent....
A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....
![Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j51fw71y5fojpg.jpg)
Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]
Last we heard of Rick Pitino extortionist Karen Sypher's legal counsel, she was performing oral sex on him in his office. But that lawyer testified against her in her trial, so things weren't working out so well there....
The Cardinals Are Pretty Much Cursed Now, Right?
Adam Wainwright needs Tommy John surgery. Now Matt Holliday is out indefinitely after an emergency appendectomy. Next Albert Pujols will sign with Chicago. (Probably.)...
Sad Pitino. Sad Bird.
Rick Pitino's Cardinals became the first, but certainly not the last high seed to bow out early. There's justice in an unlikable coach falling to an obscure-therefore-likable team, and there's a joke somewhere in Pitino getting bounced by a team called Morehead State. Maybe you can find one....
Tony La Russa Is Going To Overmanage Right At Jonny Gomes's Head
The Reds' Jonny Gomes reacts to Adam Wainwright's "significant" elbow injury: "The melody was not recognizable, but the words were plaintive: 'Wainwright's gone, Wainwright's gone, Wainwright's gone,' he sang joyously." [Dayton Daily News]...
Welcome To Albertgeddon
We're but minutes away from Albert Pujols's self-imposed deadline for signing a contract extension. This means that if the Cardinals don't come back with a whopper of a last-minute offer, it's all but inevitable that he'll sign with the Cubs in the offseason for eight years, $250 million, shatter hi...
St. Louis Wonders Whether Albert Pujols Is Worth 1.3 Million Common Folk
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch asks an interesting question in today's paper: Is Albert Pujols worth the biggest contract in baseball history?...
A Former NFLer On "Laughing" Derek Anderson And The Football Robot Blowhards
On Monday, Derek Anderson was scolded for smiling on camera during the Cardinals' loss to the 49ers, leading to his "Nothing is funny to me" tirade. Ex-NFL player Nate Jackson defends his former colleague from Jon Gruden and all the rest of the "emotionally stunted football pedants."...
Derek Anderson Laughs, Curses His Way Through 21-Point Loss
Down 18 in the fourth quarter, the Arizona quarterback was filmed laughing with lineman Deuce Lutui on the sideline. A reporter asked "what was so funny" in the post-game presser, and Anderson (16-35, 196 yards, 1 interception) said "nothing's funny!"...
Here's Your "I Can't Believe These Teams Are Somehow Still Relevant" MNF Open Thread
3-7 San Francisco plays at 3-7 Arizona tonight. The Cardinals have lost five straight. And yet, in the very sad NFC West wasteland, a win could put either team a game back of the division lead. Should this be illegal?...
Rick Pitino Screws Common Decency On A Restaurant Floor, So To Speak
Louisville has offered a scholarship to former Wake Forest center Tony Woods, last seen fracturing his girlfriend's spine. You can rest assured Rick Pitino will find a way to compare this to 9/11. [The Dagger]...
Did You Know Kurt Warner Is On A TV Show Now? Because Kurt Warner Is On A TV Show Now
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: retired quarterback Kurt Warner....
Analyst: Cardinals Quit With "Poopy in their Pants" and "Skid Marks in Their Britches"
Former St. Louis Cardinals outfielder, and current team anaylst, Jack "The Ripper" Clark has grown tired with the home nine's lack of effort. He isn't content just to mention that they're "quitters," though. He gets all diagnosis-y with it....
Waino, Skip, And The Double Dutch Rudder
Sometimes, we post thoughtful and measured criticism of athletes and the media. Other times we post videos that make it look like two Cardinals players are beating each other off....
Is It Foul If The Ball Hits John Smoltz's Pole?
During last night's Braves-Cardinals game, the crew in the booth flashed back to Sunday's TBS game to show a replay of John Smoltz getting plunked in the junk by an Adrian Beltre foul ball. Your move, Aaron Cook....
If You Want To Break Up With Your Girlfriend, Don't Tell Her You Died Of Cancer, And Then Get Photographed At The Louisville Game With A "Big White Girl"
Oh lord. Kids today, with their Facebooks, and MyBooks, and cancer scams, and roomy white chicks....
Cardinals Website Doesn't Give Two Hits About Copyediting
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Tony La Russa Isn't Lying About Being Apolitical. That's The Problem.
Tony La Russa and I have the same literary agent. This might tell you all you need to know about the state of literature, but nonetheless, it's true. When Are We Winning? was in galleys, my agent sent La Russa a copy....
Cardinals Broadcaster Arrested For Drunken Driving, Smiles Beet-Faced For The Camera
Dan McLaughlin—the primary play-by-play guy for the Cardinals on Fox Sports Midwest—was arrested on Monday for suspicion of drunken driving just outside of St. Louis in Chesterfield and, well, he made a funny face. [St. Louis Today]...