champ Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's The Champions League Quarter-Final Draw
After a fairly uneventful Champions League Round of 16 (save the wildness in Bayern Munich vs. Juventus, of course), we now know who will be competing against one another in the quarter-finals. Things are about to get a lot more interesting....
Juve's Loss Ensures England Holds Onto Its Fourth Champions League Spot, For Now
Bayern Munich’s impressive comeback victory against Juventus today had a farther-reaching effect than just sending Bayern into the Champions League quarterfinals: it ensured that England will hold onto its four Champions League spots for at least another year....
Bayern Munich Score Twice In Extra Time, Beat Juventus In Balls-Out Comeback
This is why Bayern are rightly considered one of the two best teams on the planet. Under immense pressure, down two goals to a great Juventus side, the Germans stormed back to tie the game up in regulation, then finished the job by adding another two in extra time....
This Luis Suárez Golazo Constitutes Cruel And Unusual Punishment
Guys, guys, was this really necessary? It was obvious you were going to win, but did you really need to crown your triumph with this brutally brilliant flying kick goal by Luis Suárez?...
Álvaro Morata Runs Past Bayern's Whole Defense By Himself, Sets Up Juan Cuadrado Goal
Uh, did Juventus just kill Bayern Munich? Because from the look of this scoreline—the Italians are up 2-0 at halftime, the second goal set up by this marvelous run by Álvaro Morata—it really looks like Bayern will need something approaching a miracle to get back into this....
A Child's Treasury Of Photos Of Nate Diaz Beating Conor McGregor's Ass
Conor McGregor is a blowhard troll who’s been terrorizing the top ranks of pro fighters lately, while Nate Diaz is a lovable dirtbag who’s lost more than he’s won over the last couple of years. McGregor says things like, “I’ve got world titles and multi millions of dollars, you got 20 thousand to sh...
Dumbass American Has The Stupidest Ideas On How To "Fix" The Champions League
What you’re about to read is really, really stupid. Like, snap-your-laptop-in-two-over-your-knee stupid. Seal-up-Europe’s-borders-Donald-Trump-style-to-keep-out-Americans stupid. And as a soccer fan on this side of the Atlantic who doesn’t share sports executive Charlie Stillitano’s braindead takes ...
Julian Büscher's First Professional Goal Is A Long-Range Doozy
DC United just got knocked out of the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF Champions League, 3-1 on aggregate by Mexican side Querétaro. At least their lone goal—scored by German rookie Julian Büscher, in his second ever match for the club—was an absolute beauty, as Buescher smacked in a fishtailing rocket...
Hahaha, What The Hell Kind Of Ingenious Rainbow Goal Is This?
This goal, scored by Ranger’s striker Kenny Miller, is crazy. The ball’s trajectory is less a dipping curler and more a meteor falling out of the sky and somehow landing in the side netting. It’s a curve you’d learn to plot in high school math class with your graphing calculator come to life. The go...
Nate Diaz Accuses Conor McGregor Of Steroid Use At Impressively Ludicrous Press Conference
It’s late February and not much is going on in sports, so the press conference the UFC held today to promote Conor McGregor’s upcoming fight against Nate Diaz was the most entertaining happening of the day largely by default. Even so, it was really something, every bit as dumb as could be hoped....
Yaya Touré Belter Saves Manchester City From Themselves
He’s been doing it for years now, but it’s still ridiculous just how good Yaya Touré is at scoring goals. This curler, knocked in from the top of the box at the end of Manchester City’s match against Dynamo Kiev, was as important as it was pretty, as it all but sealed City’s progression into the nex...
![Former British Olympian And Diehard Arsenal Fan Did Not React Well To Yesterday's Loss [Update: This Didn't Happen]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mw6anxnnu0dvkfwaz6cl.jpg)
Former British Olympian And Diehard Arsenal Fan Did Not React Well To Yesterday's Loss [Update: This Didn't Happen]
Update [11:01 a.m.]: Turns out, the tweeted picture showing the remote in the TV was a joke and not actually a picture of Sotherton’s TV. Sorry for the error. The original post is below....
Clint Dempsey Bends Long-Range Free Kick Perfectly Into The Top Corner
Clint Dempsey opened the scoring in Tuesday’s CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinal between the Seattle Sounders and Mexico’s Club América with this prodigious free kick:...
Barcelona Beat Arsenal Because They Have Lionel Messi
Okay, so it wasn’t just because Barcelona had Lionel Messi and Arsenal didn’t that the reigning Champions League title holders beat Arsenal today, even if the Argentine did account for both goals in the likely tie-deciding 2-0 scoreline. Unlike some of his most transcendent performances—like, say, h...
PSV Defender Promises To Eat Atlético Madrid Like His Soup, Which He Then Burns His Mouth On
PSV will play host to Atlético Madrid and the best defense in Europe next week, but new PSV defender Nicolas Isimat-Marin ain’t scared. He declared in a video interview with the team’s YouTube page that he was going to eat Los Rojiblancos like soup....
It's Been A Rough Day, So Come Look At This Cristiano Ronaldo Golazo
Real Madrid visited Italian side AS Roma today in the first leg of their Champions League Round of 16 tie and beat the home side, 2-0. The first goal was a dang thunderbastard from Cristiano Ronaldo. You should see it. You deserve to see it. Here it is:...
Julian Draxler Clowns The Shit Out Of Gent's Whole Defense
Here you have basically Gent’s entire defense getting humiliated by Wolfsburg’s Julian Draxler. One center back gifts Draxler the ball on a terrible back pass, his partner scoots over to confront the attacker only to get nutmegged, and before the right back can slide tackle the ball away, Draxler fl...
French Champions Beat English Midtable Side
Today in the Champions League Round of 16, Chelsea, an English midtable club best known for generously overpaying players and whose name was uttered alongside words like “relegation” just weeks ago, bravely stormed across the English Channel to take on French champions Paris Saint-Germain, who have ...
Cardiff Owner Gives Players A Lesson On How To Score, Both On And Off The Field
Vincent Tan, the rich, mustachioed goober and sartorial terrorist who owns Cardiff City, is a curious man with curious ideas. Remember when he insisted on turning the Bluebirds red, calling them the Dragons, and trying to sign players who had eights in their birthdates? He may have been harangued in...
Radamel Falcao Latest Chelsea Player To Be Cast Aside In Favor Of Future Legend Matt Miazga
Chelsea’s newest and hottest prospect, American center back Matt Miazga, has been in London for barely over a week and he’s already reshaping the club....