chelsea Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alexis Knocks Chelsea Keeper Out Cold; Keeper Stays In Game
Early in today's match between Arsenal and Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, Arsenal midfielder Alexis Sánchez turned to run down a hopeful ball over the top, nearly got on the end of it, and ended his run by plowing his hip through Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois's head. Courtois appeared to be knock...
Frank Lampard Scored A Fittingly Huge Goal Against Old Team Chelsea
The pillars of the old crew were all there. John Terry still in the captain's armband. A ponytailed Didier Drogba in his famous number 11. The boss José Mourinho, looking upon his charges sternly from the sideline, no doubt fighting back an inner smile. And Frank Lampard, a goal down, hungry to do...
The Premier League Needs More Bastards Like Diego Costa
It takes a certain type of person to start an argument with a person who can't even understand what they're saying. But with Chelsea leading 3-1 at Everton with a little over 20 minutes to play, a goal already to his name, that's what Diego Costa did....
There Were So Many Goals In Today's Everton-Chelsea Match
Alright, Chelsea beat Everton by three goals today—two of which it took them all of three minutes into the match to score—but that doesn't even begin to state how insane this game was. There were nine goals! There could've been three more! There was a Tim Howard head butt!...
How Chelsea's Missing Piece Fell Into Their Lap
Yesterday, Chelsea kicked off their season against Premier League minnows Burnley. When the match started, their new, star midfielder Cesc Fàbregas looked strange, out of place donned in blue. He didn't seem like he fit. ...
Chelsea, <em>Hot Damn</em>
It's too early to declare something a goal of the year contender...right?...
This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....
Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old Man
Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....
José Mourinho Is The Antichrist: A Closet Liverpool Fan's Lament
Of course Chelsea won. Of course. ...
Steven Gerrard Slips, Allows Demba Ba To Score Easy Goal
In stoppage time at the end of the first half of Chelsea-Liverpool, Steven Gerrard slipped on a nothing play and allowed Demba Ba to coast right in on goal, with only the keeper to beat. Ba scored and Chelsea have a 1-0 lead in a game that could decide the Premier League title. Naturally, we added ...
Typical José: Chelsea's Champions League Win Was Right On Schedule
José Mourinho's teams are some goddamn cockroaches, man. Just when you think you've got them squashed, their viscous innards seeping from their corrugated underbelly—as PSG could've justifiably believed, leading Chelsea 3-1 after the first leg of their Champions League tie—they somehow keep right on...
Ref Sends Off Wrong Man In Chelsea-Arsenal Match
Arsenal's Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain appeared to use his hand to deflect a shot that was, at the very least, near the goal today in Stamford Bridge. Eden Hazard one-timed a feed from Fernando Torres to the far side of the goal and Oxlade-Chamberlain must have just brain-farted because he dove and trie...
Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?
We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addi...
"Diehard" Soccer Fans Pretend To Know Players Who Don't Exist
Well, well, maybe Americans aren't the only ones who don't know anything about soccer. ...
Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick
No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....
Here's Jozy Altidore's First Goal Of The Season
We've been waiting for USMNT starting striker Jozy Altidore to score his first Premier League goal, but through 13 weeks, he's been unable to find the back of the net. This due to a number of factors, including the fact that his new club, Sunderland, suck so, so hard. But today: a breakthrough!...
Loic Remy's Late Goal Seals Newcastle Upset Over Chelsea
It seems like we've been here before, with a member of the Premier League's royalty losing unexpectedly to a team with nowhere near comparable talent. But that's the 2013 season for you, where Arsenal and Liverpool face off in a top-of-the-table clash while fighting off the likes of Tottenham, Sout...
Mourinho So Excited By Torres Winner He Goes Into Stands, Gets Kissed
Last week Chelsea manager José Mourinho went into the stands after being sent off. Today he went back amongst the supporters, but voluntarily after Fernando Torres's 90th-minute winner to down Manchester City. ...
Jose Mourinho Gets Sent Off, Watches Rest Of Match Among Fans
Did Jose Mourinho do something awesome and kind of crazy recently? Of course he did....