chelsea Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Frank Lampard Humiliated By A Cartoon Character
It's a particularly sad day for Frankie Lamps, with news (in The Sun) that a great big pile of golden iPods emblazoned with his extravagant autograph have been "melted down" and replaced with a popular Japanese cartoon character, called Hello Kitty....

The 10 Most Enthralling Transfer Stories Of The Summer
Make no mistake about it, the next couple of months are going to become transfer bonkers. With that in mind, after the jump, you'll find some of the biggest stories of the summer. Potentially. ...

Chelsea Rumoured To Be Ridding Themselves Of John Terry
Once again, The Spoiler has received some very interesting information from the various squirrels that roam the country, listening in on football boardroom meetings, and spending the evenings alone in bars drinking to forget, before getting free sex from a sympathetic prostitute....

Chelsea And Man City Use Mind Games To Tempt Torres
There will, of course, be much speculation over the summer as to where Fernando Torres might end up, and at the moment, the choices seem to be forking out in four directions....

Drogba Performs His Second Greatest Ever Celebration…
Well done to the 75 per cent of Spoiler readers who correctly fingered Chelsea as the eventual Premier League winners....

A Short Video About The Snazzy New World Cup Ball
Of course, when football was first invented, it was probably played using sheep bladders wrapped in velvet cloaks, or old fishermen skulls....

Chelsea Get Really Quite Greedy Against Stoke
Above are highlights from the Chelsea match — Man United fans might be wise to squeal and look away....

John Terry Shouldn't Feel So Special
Vanessa Perroncel didn't just have a fling with John Terry, new reports say. Try three other Chelsea teammates. I don't know if this makes Wayne Bridge feel better or worse....

Yup, Terry's Secret Lover's Abortion Is Pretty Much Biggest Story Since First Stamford Bridge
When a court overturned an injunction on publishing some John Terry gossip, we thought it was a standard "affair with teammate's girlfriend." But, holy shit. We had no idea....

John Terry's Affair With Teammate's Girl Manages To Explode English Media Law
An English high court has overturned an injunction prohibiting publishing news of Chelsea and national team captain John Terry's affair with a teammate's girlfriend. Forget the shitshow this will cause the Lions; the ramifications for the press are huge....

Chelsea! Man U! Dental Hygiene!
A thrilling 1-0 game between the clubs atop the table is no reason for this Chelsea supporter to forget to brush his teeth mid-match. [Off The Post]...

The Deadspin Pub Opens For Chelsea and Liverpool
Chelsea and Liverpool are set to kick off the weekend's spotlight match at Stamford Bridge. Elsewhere Real Madrid faces their toughest test to date in La Liga against Sevilla....

Chelsea Banned From Signing Players Until 2010 2011
The two-transfer-window ban is for illegally poaching a young midfielder from his Ligue 1 team. Which is funny, because messing around with a French teenager is exactly how Tony Parker got in trouble, too. [Guardian]...

Congratulations, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Nailing Your Sister
Chelsea had a bit of a rough go of it this year, especially after losing a heartbreaker to Barcelona in the Champions League, but their Italian-Brazilian midfielder Juliano Belletti can take solace in the fact that his sister has found comfort in the arms of Man U coxswain Cristiano Ronaldo....

Chelsea Is Not Taking Their Champions League Defeat Well
Barcelona pulled off a miraculously late rally to win their Champions League semi-final slugfest over Chelsea yesterday, but the defeated English are having some trouble coping. At least no one has hung themselves! Yet....

How Does This Help Us Play Soccer Again?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Today In Soccer Or: Deadspin Pub Gets A Special-Use Liquor License
It's been quite some time since someone not named KOGOD or Tuffy discussed the soccer-related events of the day, but the fans of the beautiful game have spoken. Here's what's happening this weekend....

British Soccer: Like A Sunny, Fun Day At Disneyland
So which is more distasteful, sports fans?: Mocking plane crash victims, or wishing someone dead from a car wreck? Don't worry, it's British soccer. You can have both!...

The Deadspin Pub: Help Yourself (Because I Sure Can't)
By request: Soccer hooligans may commiserate in here. I'm told Chelsea and Manchester United are playing right now, which sounds important, but what do I know?...

Shouldn't Winning Be More Enjoyable?
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....