chicago-bears Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...
All Kyle Orton, All The Time
Just for fun, in honor of his start this Sunday, here are some more random photos of Deadspin Hall Of Famer Kyle Orton. We know, it's impossible not to find these, but nevertheless: We just can't get enough. These were taken in Paris, which proves Orton's going international. Go Kyle: Give 'em hel...
The Thrilling Nature Of An NFC Wild-Card Elimination Game
The NFL Network was crowing about its Cowboys-Packers ratings last week. Let's see how they do with a game much fewer people care about....
Grossman Heroically Leads Bears To Another Victory
Tidbits and info smidgens from Week 12 in the NFL ......
Visual Evidence Of Those Bygone Championship Shirts
It is one thing to read about sports leagues giving away incorrectly labeled merchandise like "2006 World Champion Detroit Tigers" or "2004 American League Champion New York Yankees" to the needy in third world countries. It's another all together to actually see a child in Zambia wearing a 2007 Sup...
Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......
There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself....
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....
A Report From One Of Briggs' Fellow Motorists
Now that Bears linebacker Lance Briggs has confirmed he was the one driving that Lamborghini Monday morning that was left on the Edens Expressway in Chicago — he's giving some ridiculous explanations too — we are happy to provide you with a report from a reader who was right next to Briggs' car last...
Where Not To Park Your Lamborghini
Whenever Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs wakes up, groggy, confused, wondering where his car is, we hope he turns on CBS-2 in Chicago. There, he will learn exactly where his car is. Sorry: His Lamborghini....
NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Tank Johnson Is Not Drunk, But Drunk Enough
So, with word coming out that beleaguered Chicago Bear Tank Johnson actually being under the legal limit in his DUI arrest a couple of weeks ago — the one that ultimately forced his release from the Bears — the guy should be out of the woods and all set and good again, right?...
Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....
Taint Sweat Sold Separately
Say what you will about the intensity of Bears fans, but some bits of memorabilia are out of the range of reasonable and rational thought, even to them....
The Seventh Floor Crew Takes Over The NFL
At the end of the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday, the defending NFC champion Chicago Bears drafted tight end Greg Olsen. If you don't recognize Olsen's name, you can hark back to the halcyon days of November 2005, when Olsen dropped some beats as a member of the Seventh Floor Crew. (He's n...
Brian Urlacher Deplenished Of $100 Grand Worth Of Fluid
OK, so we'll say it: We don't find Gatorade the slightest bit replenishing. We think it mostly tastes like urine distilled through a coffee machine, but that's less to the point; when we work out, the last thing we want is a sugary thick beverage. We're working out to lose calories; why would we wan...
Devin Hester Is Virtually Fast
If you're like us — and Lord help you if you are — much of the summer is spent counting down the days until the new version of Madden is released. (This year, the Buzzsaw is gonna be good! Leinart to Boldin ... Buzzsaw!) Even though the NFL Draft still hasn't happened, they've already released some ...
Tank Johnson Needs The Squirrel Master
Tank Johnson, the troubled Chicago Bears defensive lineman who was recently sentenced to 120 days in prison, is having problems making new friends in his new home. He's in protective custody, which means he's not having any contact with other inmates. When he first came into booking, though, Tank wa...