chicago-cubs Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kerry Wood Is Retiring
According to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine, Kerry Wood will retire today. Wood's struggled this year. He's given up eight hits and walked 11, while striking out only five, in nine innings. Until his hiccups this year, and, evidently, his retirement, Wood appeared set for a semi-successfu...
Enough With The Mystical Cubs Bullshit, Please
Can we talk about this? Can we talk about everything wrong with the notion that if the Cubs are to succeed—if they are to finally, evitably win a championship—they have to first tear down Wrigley Field? That there is bad juju on Waveland and hoodoo on Sheffield and black alchemy on Addison and maybe...
Steve Bartman's True Identity Revealed: He's Al Bundy
First, we brought you the Jose Canseco joke that launched a thousand Jose Canseco jokes. Now, we bring you evidence that Steve Bartman is Al Bundy. Or perhaps even more insidious, Bartman was merely a stooge in a wide ranging conspiracy to prove the writers of Married...With Children soothsaying o...
Brewers Closer John Axford Blows Save, Endears Himself To Media Anyway
Normally when a player fails to "take his lumps" or "stand up and face the music" or however else you'd like to phrase "talk to the media after screwing up," he is taken to task. John Axford, however, had a pretty good excuse and let the media know via handwritten message....
Cubs Ballgirl Caught On Camera Writing Note Was Rejecting Fan's Request For Her Phone Number
The video you see above made its way around the internet in recent days, and had even been sent to us by a handful of tipsters. All we knew was what we saw: A ballgirl at Wrigley Field filling out a note and handing it to a ballpark attendant. Naturally, an expert (read: Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenl...
New Era's "Chicago Vs. Chicago" Spot Is Actually Set At A Hoboken Bar
Official MLB cap provider New Era's launched a series of ads titled "Chicago Vs. Chicago" in which popular character actors Nick Offerman and Craig Robinson argue over the merits of the Cubs versus the White Sox. This debate takes place, as we're led to believe in an establishing shot, in a Chicago...
Richard Marx Goes Yard Off Dennis Eckersley, Chicago Cubs Win World Series
I have no idea how I don't remember this video, because I definitely remember the song. Maybe you don't remember it either. Maybe we buried it deep within our collective subconscious....
Lucha Libre Cubs Fan Hasn't Won <em>Campeonato Consejo Mundial</em> Since 1908
The Marlins crushed the Cubs 9-1 last night in front of an announced 25,000 spectators, one of which was this Cubs fan in headgear we can't imagine is particularly comfortable in the Miami heat. But hey, at least he got to see this a few times....
Illinois Man Arrested After He Accuses Blackhawks And Cubs Executives Of Stealing His Ideas To Win Championships
56-year-old Emanuel Kuvakos of Burr Ridge, Ill. was arrested on Tuesday night and charged with three counts of misdemeanor harassment by electronic means. At first, we imagine, Kuvakos just wanted to protect his intellectual property:...
Why Yes, This Human-Chicken-Squid Hybrid Is A Cubs Fan
Ronnie Tomaszewski was skipping yet another of his classes at North Park University when he remembered it was Thursday already and he was a bit short on cash for what was sure to be a big weekend of partying. A few of his fraternity brothers had testified to the easy money of that old college stand...
0% Of Cubs Fans Polled Expect Their Team To Make The Playoffs
Cubs fans are already despondent after yesterday's 2-1 loss to the Nationals. In other words, they're gotten an early jump on behaving like Cubs fans. Here's a poll from Chicago news station CLTV aired last evening, in which nary a single believer in a Cubs postseason could be found. Obviously, t...
Rick Telander: Cubs President Theo Epstein Might Walk On Water This Season (Or Something)
Robot-fearing Chicago Sun-Times sports columnist Rick Telander senses a higher power surrounding these 2012 Chicago Cubs. It's something holy and ethereal, or maybe it's grounded in hard, empirical data. Gosh, maybe we'll let him sort this out....
Folks In Chicago Preparing For The Worst Baseball Season Since The Carter Administration
March, when hope springs eternal, and fans of even the most down-and-out teams can convince themselves that somehow, someway, this might be the year. Until opening day, everyone's tied for first place. But not in Chicago, where a century of misery (never mind 2005; that's ancient history) has damped...
Cubs Win! Cubs Win (A Video Game-Induced, Alternate Universe World Series)!
Sony's new ad campaign for MLB 12 The Show hinges on the tagline, "So real, it's unreal." Apparently, that includes the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series, thanks to some Michael Bay-worthy special effects....
Jeff Samardzija Would Like To Eye-Hump You For A Moment
Spring training photo day is a second (or fifth) chance to make a first impression. No matter that Jeff Samardzija had had four largely irrelevant seasons in Chicago. This is 2012, and it's a new start, and a hairy intense Samardzija wants you out of those pants and in his bed before he's done smell...
Matt Garza Could Be Bound For Detroit
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...
Starlin Castro Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault, Reports WBBM In Chicago
A woman in her 20s accused Castro, the Cubs' 21-year-old shortstop, of sexually assaulting her last fall. Chicago police now want to question Castro. Castro's lawyers say that the charges are "baseless," while the Cubs say they've only received "limited information." [WBBM News Radio]...
Some Dude Got Arrested For Breaking Into Wrigley Field And Ripping Ivy Off The Walls
Michael Vite, 24, allegedly entered the ballpark through a construction area around 7:30 a.m. on New Year's Day. Police say he "ran onto the field and pulled some ivy off the outfield wall." Which is pretty lame compared to this. [CBS Chicago; h/t to Disco Choo]...
Albert Pujols's Wife Is "Mad At God," The Cubs Are Looking For A First Baseman, And More From The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...
3,000 Cards Fans Will Now Claim The Autographed Hat A Cubs Fan Found On The Highway
Did you lose a 2011 World Series championship cap autographed by Cardinals players somewhere on I-74 in central Illinois recently? Of course you did. A Cubs fan found it, and now he wants to return it to its rightful owner—you: "He says whoever comes forward will have to know about an unexpected sig...