chicago-cubs Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dale Sveum Doesn't Even Have The Heart To Be Mad At His Players For Not Paying Attention
This is life as a Cubs manager. There are 25 people (40 in September!) whose only goal in life seems to be to give you agita. They do bad baseball things, but even worse they do dumb baseball things, and after a while it just becomes too much to take and you have to check out. There's no way to stay...

NBC Decides The Cubs Probably Aren't Going To Win The World Series This Year
Two screenshots. On the left, an early press photo for NBC's new show Revolution, set in a post-apocalyptic 2027, as the characters walk pass a Wrigley Field claimed by the ivy. On the right, the same picture, taken from the show's actual broadcast last night. The "2012 World Series Champions" sign ...

Some Jackass Made Blowjob Pantomimes Behind Home Plate At Wrigley For Nearly An Inning Before Getting Ejected
Weather delayed last night's Pirates-Cubs bout at Wrigley Field for several hours, and by the end of the 3-0 Pittsburgh win there weren't many fans left in the stadium. There was, however, one guy who really wanted to get on TV making blowjob faces....

Is It Poor Form To Literally Rip A Home Run Ball Out Of Another Fan's Hand?
This is from Anthony Rizzo's first of two home runs yesterday (the Pirates' collapse continues apace). I want to draw your attention not to the play, but to the two gentlemen in center, struggling over that all-important baseball. Who has the moral high ground, and the right to the ball?...

The Astros Are Now Hurting Other People With Their Ineptitude
At first, we found the Houston Astros' nightly slapstick routine to be rather endearing, and it was easy to have laugh at their repeated shenanigans. But then, through no fault but their own, the Astros couldn't even run out simple ground balls without one of their own getting hurt....

The Nationals And Cubs Need To Work On Their Bench-Clearing Brawl Technique
#NATITUDE was on full display tonight at Nationals Park as an inside pitch to Bryce Harper, preceded by some jawing between Nationals third base coach Bo Porter and Cubs bench coach Jamie Quirk, led to perhaps the most anticlimactic bench-clearing brawl in baseball history. Lots of pushing, some ye...

David DeJesus Drew A Walk And Got Hit By A Pitch During The Same Plate Appearance
Last night, someone in the Cubs' bullpen plunked the Cubs' own batter, David DeJesus, who had just drawn a walk to lead off the eighth. That same bullpen then gave up nine runs in the ninth. May the Cubs never cease being the Cubs....

It's Official: Watching The Cubs Goes Hand In Hand With Getting Punched In The Balls
Fans of the Cubs have been saying it for years, and while we've always believed it to be true, we never had any actual proof. But there it is....

Cubs Trainer Mark O'Neal Suffers Mid-Game Middle Finger Sprain
The Cubs ended an eight-game losing streak last night by dispatching the Reds, but it seems not everybody in the organization was happy. Here's trainer Mark O'Neal telling slugger Alfonso Soriano exactly what he thinks about Soriano's fouling a pitch off right in O'Neal's direction. (Soriano later ...
![New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change [UPDATE: A Bunch Of Other Teams Hacked Too]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17ur204irbhscpng.png)
New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change [UPDATE: A Bunch Of Other Teams Hacked Too]
It's gone now, but it seems the Yankees' Facebook was hacked just now as it posted this breaking news about Derek Jeter's upcoming sexual reassignment surgery. Congratulations to the hacker; we didn't even know they had the Internet in Boston....
![Cubs Fan's Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Runs While His Girlfriend's In The Bathroom [Non-Pooping Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17uj6w0geatsgpng.png)
Cubs Fan's Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Runs While His Girlfriend's In The Bathroom [Non-Pooping Update]
Poor Greg. All that money, time and emotional torture that went in to taking out a scoreboard message at yesterday's Cubs game asking his girlfriend to marry him. And then, after a half-hour long bottom of the fifth, just as the proposal was set to run, the girlfriend leaves her seat. (Perhaps she w...

Yes, Theo Epstein's Accused Stalker Wore A Red Sox Shirt To Her Mental Competency Hearing
The Harvard-educated crazy lady who showed up in Chicago last week on Cubs GM Theo Epstein's doorstep can't sue us for calling her "crazy lady," it turns out. Kathleen Kearney was named a ward of the state of Massachusetts nine years ago because of mental illness, and she was released on bond in Ill...

Jose Reyes Home Run Drills Wrigley Field Usher In The Back
The Marlins announcers were oddly impressed that Reyes was able to hit one out to right even with the wind at Wrigley blowing in, but a reader named Justin happened to notice where the ball actually lands. The best view is at the end of the clip below, beginning right around the 41-second mark. Yep....

Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, And Ryan Dempster Ate Pizza Together On The Wrigley Field Mound
Celebrities dropping by Wrigley Field to promote their latest piece of crap is nothing new, though we're not sure if tonight's stunt before the Marlins-Cubs game has ever been done before....

Jay Cutler: I AM SO JACKED UP FOR "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME"
Relax, Jay. Relax. It's only July and the Cubs stink anyway. We appreciate the enthusiasm, though. ...

ESPN Reports The Diamondbacks-Cubs Game Is Being Delayed By Snow
As far as we know, there is no snow at Wrigley Field on July 13. But we will update you if we learn that there is snow at Wrigley Field on July 13....

Chicago Paper: Cubs Not A Total Train Wreck, Like That Actual Train Wreck On The Front Page
The Cubs have been a mess for a while, so expectations have been a bit...lowered, let's say. To that end, the Daily Herald decided to take a page from Theo Epstein's "parallel-track" outlook for remaining competitive (woops!) in 2012 while also building for the future and run with it for a "mid-sea...

Dontrelle Willis Retires. Mark Prior Tries To Make A Comeback. Baseball Remains A Sadistic Bastard.
Dontrelle Willis retired on Monday at the age of 30, bringing to an end one of the most baffling baseball careers of the past decade. The day before, Mark Prior, nursing an oblique strain, threw a bullpen session for the Pawtucket Red Sox. He hadn't pitched in a game since June 21, when he scuffled ...

The Biggest Winner In Marlon Byrd's PED Bust? Marlon Byrd. The Biggest Loser? The Cubs (Of Course).
When MLB announced Monday that noted Victor Conte client Marlon Byrd would be suspended for 50 games after he tested positive for taking an estrogen inhibitor, it was reported that Byrd would be docked 50 days' pay, since that's what the rules say. The suspension began immediately, since Byrd is sti...

Now Batting, Travis Wood Of The Chicago Ubs
Cubs pitcher Travis Wood shut down the Mets in his seven innings of action last night, though the real impact he made was on viewers stupefied by his batting helmet's misplaced logo. The cap appears to have been through some severe trauma, made all the weirder because Wood, being a pitcher, has bat...