chicago Page 126 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh, The Things We Could Demolish Today
Thirty years ago today was the death of disco at Comiskey Park. A wacky promotion turned into Woodstock '79 as tens of thousands of rock and roll purists stormed the field....
Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing....
Have You Seen This Fat Guy?
The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to start tonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call....
Young Cubs Fan Mocks Ryan Dempster's Pain
This young fan in blue has thoroughly enjoyed Ryan Dempster's comical fall over a dugout railing, not realizing that the pitcher has just fractured his big toe and will spend a month on the DL. Go Cubbies!...
Someone Else Actually Wants To Buy The Cubs?
Hold the phone, North Siders. Wrigley Field and its tenants have supposedly been sold for $900 million, but a new suitor has stepped in to Cubsblock the Ricketts. Will the team slip through their fingers like a groundball to short?...
Let's Get This Over With Early: Joakim Noah Smokes Weed, Anonymous, Possibly Fake Text Messager Says
"smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands" [Texts From Last Night] (PHOTO: Not From Last Night)...
Worth Almost $900 Million Now, Imagine If The Cubs Won A World Series
"The Ricketts family has reached a deal to buy the storied Chicago Cubs baseball team from bankrupt media company Tribune Co." Ambiguous adjectives are about as delightful as Sam Zell no longer owning a baseball team. [Reuters]...
Chicago Blackhawks To Lose The Next 12 Stanley Cup Finals
Marian Hossa (who is 30) just signed a 12-year contract with the Chicago Blackhawks, after allegedly turning down a 10-year deal from the Red Wings. This guy really knows how not to pick 'em. [NHL.com]...
The Jay Mariotti Online Express Could Be Headed Back To Chicago
The Rumor: Jay Mariotti's death wish/dream to return to the Chicagoland newspaper universe is almost complete — he's finally heading to the Chicago Tribune. It's just unfortunate that neither he nor anyone at the paper will talk about it....
Ozzie Guillen Not Helping North-South Side Relations
It's time for another round of every Chicago baseball fan's favorite game, "Guess The Deleted Expletive In Ozzie Guillen's Anti-Cubs Rant." Or for bonus fun, just make up a word and get an even better quote....
Milton Bradley Is Uncomfortable, And So Is A Certain Water Cooler
Lou Piniella, Milton Bradley and a water cooler — not as sexy a ménage à trois as it sounds. And unfortunately, it turns out the water cooler is the Lucky Pierre in this uninviting threesome....
Lou Piniella Adds Context To The Soto Stoner Saga
"Look, I have smoked dope one time in my life, and it didn't do a damn thing for me, and I never tried it again.... But a lot of people do (smoke marijuana). You can buy it in California from a pharmacy." [ChiTrib]...
Geovany Soto Likes That Weed
Pictured, Left to Right: Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto and the sweet, sticky herb that he loves to burn and inhale into his lungs, an activity he somehow got caught doing around the time of the World Baseball Classic....
Ryne Sandberg Joins Wade Boggs In The "Stay Out Of Our Club" Brigade
If you are currently in the Hall of Fame and anywhere near a microphone, please state your preference on whether “steroid era” players deserve plaques like yours. Ryne Sandberg is the latest to go on record with a “no.”...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Wrigley Field
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Chicago Cubs' Wrigley Field....
Chicago Fire Fans Take Their Name Quite Literally
Houston Dynamo announcer on the Chicago Fire's Section 8 celebrating its Friday night with flares: "That is a thing of beauty. You're not going to see that at an NBA game."...
The Thin Line Between Fan and Fanatic
Let's say you love the Chicago Bears. (Relax....it's just an example.) And let's say you don't mind having a few dozen tattoos on your body. That doesn't logically follow that you need 92 Bears autographs permanently inked in your skin....
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Gatorade
The fancy schmancy Gatorade dispenser that has adorned the home dugout at Wrigley Field this summer is being removed and replaced with a boring old water cooler. Why? Because people can't be trusted to have nice things....
ESPN Engages In A Bit Of Time Travel
A tipster sent us this shot of the Chicago skyline from last night's Dodgers-Cubs broadcast on ESPN. Pretty, isn't it? Pretty much a lie, that is. The city hasn't looked like this since 2004, when the Sun-Times building you see at left gave way to Trump's unsightly monument to himself....
No Gatorade Machine Is Safe From Zambrano's Wrath
Carlos Zambrano did not make it through his start against the Pirates today and neither did the Gatorade dispenser in the Cubs dugout. Carlos gets ejected, but it's always the electrolytes that have to pay the price....