chicago Page 127 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Now, Is This Better Or Worse Than "Horry Kow?"
This shirt, worn at Busch Stadium by one cuddly Cardinal fan, was shown off proudly without security hassles. At least the fan with the "Cubs Suck" shirt was forced to turn his inside out. [JSF]...

Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...

T Is For Timeout...Or Maybe Tacos.
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

Boston And Chicago Must Really Love Each Other
How else do you explain why the Bulls and Celtics have played seven overtime periods in just six games? These guys really just enjoy playing basketball together—and making each other bleed....

When All Else Fails, Just Punch Brad Miller In The Face
The Boston-Chicago series had its third overtime game last night and they might still be playing now if Rajon Rando hadn't decided to just end the charade and slug Brad Miller in the mouth....

A Ball-Grabbing Good Time At The United Center
Ben Gordon scored 22 points against Boston today, but none bigger than this DAGGER! three to tie the game at the end of the first overtime. He also has something in his shorts for you....

Milton Bradley: 'I Never Had A Problem In My Life Until I Started Playing Baseball'
Milton Bradley's latest media boycott lasted about as long as Kramer's vow of silence on that episode of Senifeld. For someone who's not talking, there sure was a horn 'o plenty of quotes on Thursday....

Jay Cutler's Late Night Activities Prompt Furious Debate
Bears' general manager Jerry Angelo isn't worried about Jay Cutler's drinking . Former punky QB Jim McMahon says "It's the off season!" And now for Julia Allison's side of the story....

Tony Allen Is Not Very Popular In Chicago
Boston Celtics' guard Tony Allen apparently has angered some Chicago-area individuals so much they have threatened to kill him, prompting Tom Clancy-like security for him during last night's Bulls/Celtics game at the United Center....

William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...

Cubs Fans Will Never Escape Their Terrible Destiny
A rogue cat invaded Wrigley Field yesterday, reminding Cubbie fans everywhere that the ceaseless torment of loving sport's most accursed franchise will follow them to their eternal damnation beyond the grave....

Jim McMahon Is The "MVP Of The Bedroom"
It's come to this: The former Bears quarterback has become a pitchman for a mysterious sex drug. [WGN Morning News]...

Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...

Chicago: Just Lucky? Or Something More Sinister?
The world probably believes it is witnessing what the sociologist Robert K. Merton calls a "self-fulfilling prophecy." But are we ignoring a blatant conflict-of-interest in the city that gave us Rod Blagojevich?...

Rod Blagojevich Will Tweak Your Lineup
Did former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich really once give Lou Piniella lineup advice? And more importantly, why didn't Piniella take it?...

Well That Didn't Take Long
A tipster writes: "I'm following the Cubs/Cards game on ESPN and the play ticker said that Milton Bradley just got ejected. Haha. I have no idea what happened but I hope it's hilarious."...

The Bears Are Apparently Ready For Prime Time
Chicago has five televised prime time games this upcoming season, tied with the Steelers, Giants, Cowboys and Colts for the most. Guess which six teams were completely shut out? [NFL.com]...

Enjoy A Free Veggie Burger With John Salley
Former NBA player John Salley is giving out free veggie burgers today at Chicago's Soul Vegetarian East restaurant, although I called over there and no one seems to know anything about it. [The PETA Files]...