chicago Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Felix Pie's Minor Surgery, No Big Deal, Nothing To See Here
The sad saga of Felix Pie took a new twist yesterday, and we're sorry we just used that punnish metaphor and actually have doubled over in our chair and are fighting off dry heaves....
Ministry Is Now Writing NHL Fan Songs
Anyone who had that collegiate/postcollegiate fervor of metal-sledged revolution will remember the anarchic thrust of the band Ministry. Every time we listened to that band, we were convinced the world was collapsing all around us and only our youthful vigor could save it. Then the song would end an...
Are You Ready For "Torco Field" On The North Side?
We haven't weighed in yet on the notion that the Cubs might change the name of Wrigley Field, but let us say that it would make us, and just about everybody we know, incredibly sad. There'd be no more sad sign of our times than having drunk postcollegiates stumbling around Bank of America Field. Ev...
Hasn't Benny The Bull Suffered Enough?
If you can't see the video for some reason, what we have here is Benny the Bull on The Jerry Springer Show, being told by his girlfriend that there's "someone else." That someone is a larger, plastic Benny the Bull, and of course violence ensues. But there are so many ways that it could have been fu...
Welcome To Levitra Field, Home Of The Cubs
So, much grumbling today over the latest blasphemy in Chicago: Owner Sam Zell says he "wouldn't hesitate" to sell the naming rights to Wrigley Field. Of course our friend Mariotti is all in a sweaty panic over this, which kind of makes me think it might be a good idea. But then I'm not a Cubs fan. H...
Baseball Season Preview: Chicago White Sox
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....
Kyle Orton Is Just Getting Warmed Up
Don't worry, folks: Deadspin Hall of Famer Kyle Orton isn't going anywhere: He'll be back in the Bears uniform next year....
It Has Been A Decade Since We Lost Harry Caray
On this slow February sports day, the biggest news today is probably still the saddest: It has been 10 years today since Harry Caray shambled off this mortal coil....
Blackhawks, Brawls And Brewskies
Since tedious analysis is the stuff of "power rankings," each Monday NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski uses a form of universal expression: Success in terms of beer. Before we get to the fury of fists that was Oilers/Canucks, welcome to The Brewmeister Ratings......
Ryan Dempster Says ... No Wait ... He Says ... Really ... The Cubs ... Ha ... Sorry, We Just Can't
You'll have to forgive us, considering this happened pretty early in the day yesterday, but, well ... sometimes we just can't help ourselves. We have to point out legendary romantic Ryan Dempster's bold proclamation for the Cubs this season....
The White Sox Are Hunting Wabbit
Home Run Derby points out that the White Sox will be wearing these camo jerseys on July 4 next year....
Bear Down, Barack Obama
We'd completely forgotten about this, even though it's from our home state and followed it pretty closely when it was happening, so we have to thank Sports By Brooks for reminding us: Barack Obama, when he ran for U.S. Senate from Illinois in 2004, was this close to running against ... DITKA!...
Commit To the Indian, Bitches!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
Clearly, The First Cubs' Japanese Player
Because we're hankering for baseball already and need something to get our dander up, here's the new marketing campaign the Cubs have put together for Kosuke Fukudome. Looks great, right? Well ... that image is a rather offensive one for millions of people....
Isiah Passes Grueling Two-Week Evaluation Of Self
Isiah Thomas gave himself two weeks to get his act together, or he would fire himself as coach of the New York Knicks. The two weeks were up on Tuesday, so what's the verdict? Although the Knicks finished 1-4 during that span — including four straight losses — Isiah happily announced on Tuesday that...
When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...
Scott Skiles' Christmas Present To Bulls Fans
You know it's a bad sign when you're fired on Christmas Eve, and nobody even bothers to give you the obligatory, "aw, the guy got canned right before the holidays" comments. Yeah, it's safe to say Bulls fans aren't going to miss Scott Skiles all that much....