chicago Page 141 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......
R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...
Looking Fate In The Eye And Scoffing
A Cubs fan sent this picture to us this morning: It's the Cubs World Series tickets, for Games 3 and 4. It's September 26. The Cubs' magic number remains four. And look: Cubs World Series tickets. Their existence mocks the natural order of the universe. And just looking at them is probably making m...
Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tu...
There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself....
Parents Name Baby Wrigley Fields. Seriously
Look, if you didn't want your kid to amount to anything in life, you could have just stamped the word LOSER on his forehead in indelible ink; or left him on the doorstep of Green Party headquarters. But Paul and Teri Fields of Michigan City, Indiana just had to get creative, and so they decided to n...
One Sweet Afternoon For Jim Thome
If you ask me, Jim Thome is exactly the kind of guy to whom Willy Wonka would have left his chocolate factory. (I also sometimes imagine Bob Costas as an Oompa Loompa). Think of baseball with no cattle steroids or corked bats or "You dead, dawg," or Human Growth Hormone or Jose Canseco book signings...
This Is Getting Ridiculous
Lee to Theriot to Dempster is the new Tinkers to Evers to Chance? With a runner on third and nursing a one-run lead, reliever Ryan Dempster induced a bad-hop grounder to first baseman Derek Lee, who converted it into a game-ending double play. Cubs 3, Astros 2, and coupled with Milwaukee's 7-4 loss ...
D-Backs Keep Doing The Bartman
We love the Kiss Cam. We absolutely can't resist it. We have three favorite Kiss Cam moments....
Scrape The Brewers Off The Outfield Wall; This Race Is Tied
Call me old fashioned, but I kind of liked it when the teams involved in a tense pennant race were more than three games above .500. It's entirely possible that the Cubs and Brewers could go down to the final day before the NL Central is decided, with both teams sporting a losing record. Wouldn't t...
It's Almost Like The Cubs Are Jinxed Or Something
After 100 years of futility, there was really no reason for the folks in the Wrigley bleachers to celebrate early. That's just inviting disaster, isn't it? Cubs fans have only themselves to blame for this one. Oh, and Ryan Dempster too, we suppose. Chicago, leading by a game in the NL Central and f...
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....
NL Central, What Would We Do Without You, You Crazy Nut?
You mocked the National League's Central Division. Called it the race nobody wanted. But now it's September, and it's the most compelling race in baseball, with three teams within a game of each other atop the standings. You've got Carlos Zambrano pouting into his sippy cup. Rick Ankiel not caring ...
This Potential Chicago Riot Brought To You By The Letter Z
And so we witness the brave veneer begin to crack in the Windy City. The Cubs are still in first in the NL Central — shouldn't that be cause for unbridled joy? — but you'd never know it. Carlos Zambrano had a stinky outing on Monday and was treated to a chorus of boos by the Wrigley unfaithful. Zamb...
A Report From One Of Briggs' Fellow Motorists
Now that Bears linebacker Lance Briggs has confirmed he was the one driving that Lamborghini Monday morning that was left on the Edens Expressway in Chicago — he's giving some ridiculous explanations too — we are happy to provide you with a report from a reader who was right next to Briggs' car last...
Jumpin' Jacques Flash Has Chicago Glowing
In a world where the Milwaukee Brewers spent 125 days in first place, there was danger in the air for every Cubs fan. But a new wind was about to blow ... . Jacque Jones was once the object of ridicule and scorn at Wrigley Field; Cubs fans going from actively booing him to simply sitting on their ha...
Probably Time To Retire The Seventh Inning Stretch At Wrigley
We recognize that we are saying this as a dastardly Cardinals fan who roots for the Cubs to lose even when they aren't two games ahead with just more than a month to play, but we still think we're at least slightly justified when we say this: It's probably time to knock it off with the seventh innin...
Dickey Simpkins Wants You To Be A Good Father
This was on The Basketball Jones a few days ago, but we're just coming around to it. It's an inspirational video about parenthood, not from Travis Henry but Dickey Simpkins....
Where Not To Park Your Lamborghini
Whenever Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs wakes up, groggy, confused, wondering where his car is, we hope he turns on CBS-2 in Chicago. There, he will learn exactly where his car is. Sorry: His Lamborghini....