chicago Page 149 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

They're Baaaack ... What They're Saying About Clemens and Pujols
It was the day we've all been waiting for; sitting on the edge of our bed in our Cardinals pajamas (your pajamas may vary). The glorious return of Albert Pujols and Roger Clemens. And even though both got upstaged (by Anthony Reyes and Francisco Liriano, respectively) and their teams lost on Thurs...

A Helpful Tip For Ozzie Guillen, And It's Free
Last night, before yet another brutal pasting of the Cardinals — hey, look, the White Sox just put another 10-spot on the board, and it's only noon! — White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen apologized for his reference to Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" "reporter" Jay Mariotti as a "fag," but not t...

Your Gay Sports News Roundup
Whether it's celebrity deaths or gay sports stories, it seems big news always comes in threes. (That is how the expression goes, yes?) All kinds of gay news this Wednesday afternoon....

Maurice Drew Doesn't Hate Your Nerd Ass That Much After All
If case you didn't remember, former UCLA running back (and now Jacksonville Jaguars rookie) Maurice Drew had been implicated in the Los Angeles Denny's incident in which Bears safety Ricky Manning and pals beat up a guy for using a laptop. (We're sure this happens to Cuban all the time.)...

Ozzie's Rules
We know that in baseball, you're supposed to do what your manager tells you to do. Especially if you're a rookie. But what if your manager is about a half dozen different kinds of crazy and is named Ozzie Guillen? And what if the order is to go out and hit an opponent with a pitch? At what point d...

The Closer: Jose Contreras Will Rock Your World
Notes from a day in baseball:...

One Dark, Dark Moment In The Sun
Last July, a young minor league Cubs outfielder named Adam Greenberg finally made it to the big leagues after years of toiling through Iowa and other farm system teams. He stepped to the plate in Miami to make his first major league at bat. And the first pitch hit him in the head....

Lamenting The Loss Of Harry, Once Again
For some reason — perhaps it's the Cardinals-Cubs series tonight — but we started becoming rather nostalgic and wistful about Harry Caray today. We're not sure why. Jack Buck was always our favorite announcer anyway. Maybe it's just because we don't have many Harrys anymore; people who are liable to...

Another Nasty, Evil Fan Speaks
Remember that story from the other day, when Cubs outfielder Jacque Jones was heckled by some Wrigley Field fans and were promptly berated by Jones' mother?...

In Support Of More Lego Violence
Inspired by this well-done ranking of the best five baseball fights — we agree that Nolan Ryan pounding Robin Ventura is No. 1, but Izzy Alcantara catcher-face-kick/take-on-all-comers minor league battle is one of the more underrated sports events of our lifetime — we are proud to showcase The Bat...

Mariotti Now Universally Acclaimed As Lazy, Slobbish, Gassy
It's tough to decide whom to dislike more: White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski or Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" gasbag Jay Mariotti. Particularly if you're a Cubs fan. After the big interleague tussle last weekend, Pierzynski was on "Pardon The Interruption" yesterday and went after Mariotti...

Revisiting The Chicago Bitch Slap
Clearly, there are not many people out there who feel bad about A.J. Pierzynski getting punched in the face. Sporlitics thanks Michaell Barrett for "doing something the rest of the world has wanted to do for a long, long time." They also provide a brief list of reasons why Pierzysnki deserved to b...

If You Want To Throw Down In Fisticuffs, Fine.
White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski plowed into Cubs catcher Michael Barrett at the plate, and Barrett felt that it was an inappropriate touch. He got up, wrapped Pierzynski up in a little hug so they could chat for a quick second, and then he popped him in the face. It was a short right cross that ...

Maurice Drew Hates Your Nerd Ass Too
We received this photo of former-UCLA, now-Jacksonville running back Maurice Drew a while back, and we decided not to run it, mainly because it's hard to blame a guy when someone decides to take a picture of a guy holding a blunt next to him while sleeping. Besides, that fellow looks like a really f...

Daily Closer: You're A Good Man, Kerry Wood
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Hail The Glorious, Conquering Clippers
It's pretty clear at this point that the Suns should continue to only play teams from Los Angeles; this Suns-Clippers series is shaping up to be as entertaining as the Suns-Lakers series was....

The Closer: We're Up 7-3; What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Notes from a day in baseball:...

The Closer: Bronx Cheer
Notes from a day of baseball ... • 1. Well, That's Two. It was a headline in The New York Times that really bothered us: 'Yankees Rough Up Angels' Colon.' But they were refering to Bartolo Colon, of course, who got pounded by A-Rod & Co. 10-1 yesterday, and hey, the Yankees are off! After beating ...

Opening Day At Wrigley
We received a call from a friend of ours about an hour ago, asking us to break into their email and look up some Evite information. Why? Because they were heading to a Wrigley Field Opening Day part just down the street from the old yard, and they'd lost the directions. Our friend is a Cub fan. We...

Chicago Baseball Executives Vs. Jay Mariotti (And The People Vs. Both Of Them)
Sometimes, a story comes along with absolutely no rooting interest, no good guys at all, that you end up hoping everyone will end up in a Reservoir Dogs-esque Mexcian standoff, guns aimed at each other's heads, all pulling the trigger....