chicago Page 62 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joakim Noah Leaves Bulls Loss With Shoulder Sprain
Joakim Noah left the Bulls’ 105-102 loss to the Nets late in the third quarter, after an attempted steal resulted in his shoulder being yanked awkwardly....
Teddy Bridgewater Was Almost Perfect Today
The Bears aren’t a particularly tough defense anymore, but Teddy Bridgewater’s destruction of them this afternoon warrants some attention. The Vikings beat Chicago 38-17 at home today, and Bridgewater went 17/20 with four passing touchdowns and another on the ground. This line gives him the third-be...
Mike Matheny And The Cardinals Are Still Being A Bunch Of Grumpy Sourpusses About Jason Heyward
Jason Heyward, a strong good baseball man who left the aging team he was with for less than a year for a new team in a better city with other strong baseball men, is not popular around St. Louis. Earlier this month, a bunch of angry mouthbreathers said mean shit about him online (which happens all t...
Retired Showboater Richard Dent Claims He'd Knock Cam Newton On His Ass For Celebrating
Every time an athlete gets excited about kicking ass at their job, you’ll hear the chorus of traditionalists and outsiders jawing about how no professional athletes should celebrate because of the hallowed sanctity of the game they play that makes billionaires richer. Cam Newton in particular is a ...
Doug McDermott Is Probably Still Looking For Reggie Jackson
The Bulls and the Pistons played a Kevin Costner movie of a basketball game last night in Chicago. Detroit finally beat the Bulls in 4OT, 147-144, and Jimmy Butler even had a clear shot to take it to five, but he clanked it. Reggie Jackson had 13 in the final overtime, but he also sent Doug McDermot...
In A Slushie Cup, A Rat
A Chicago-based challenger to Pizza Rat was tragically snuffed out before it could even garner any fame on the internet. Rest in peace, Slushie Rat. If only you hadn’t scrabbled for whatever substance was at the bottom of that plastic cup....
Theo Epstein Is Getting Everything He Wants
On Tuesday night, Cubs GM Theo Epstein signed Ben Zobrist, one of the most versatile and consistently productive players in baseball, to a four-year, $56 million deal. Just now, he snatched up the best outfielder on the market, 26-year-old Jason Heyward, with a deal reportedly worth $185 million ove...
These Are Fully Theo Epstein's Cubs Now
It still feels weird talking about the Cubs as a team trying to acquire the last few pieces for a championship run, rather than as one that needs to rebuild from the ground up, but that’s where we are: with the reigning Cy Young winner and some of the best young hitters in the game, Chicago doesn’t ...
Mirza Teletovic Hits Absurd Game-Winner While Falling Away From The Basket
Mirza Teletovic helped the Suns top the Bulls 103-101 with this quite unlikely game-winner with just 0.3 seconds left. Check out the angle of Teletovic’s body right before he takes the shot: it’s not ideal form but it worked....
Oh Huh, Blaine Gabbert Might Be A Decent Quarterback
Blaine Gabbert, Jim Tomsula, and the San Francisco 49ers went to Chicago and beat the Bears 26-20 in overtime. It was a silly game between mediocre teams, and as such, it was full of highlights....
Jimmy Butler Wants His Fine Paid By "Mister Dukie" Mason Plumlee
Mason Plumlee put a shoulder into Jimmy Butler, and Butler stuck out his legs to trip Plumlee, but it was only Butler who got a technical. Now Butler wants Plumlee to pay his fine, and he knows exactly where to send the invoice....
Martellus Bennett Roasts The Rams
The Bears, despite any strange injury shenanigans, played their best game of the year down in St. Louis as they left with a 37-13 win. They put up their highest point total of the year and were clearly feeling themselves, Martellus Bennett most of all. Bennett, who is always good for a fantastic quo...
Fred Hoiberg And Derrick Rose Can't See Eye-To-Eye On Double Vision Diagnosis
Derrick Rose has been playing this season with double vision produced by a broken left orbital bone in his face. I am no medical expert, but this sounds like an active hindrance to the practice of playing NBA basketball, and Rose’s career-low stats back this up....
NFL To Investigate Chicago Bears For Failing To Disclose Full Injury Report To Media
Matt Forte and Pernell McPhee didn’t travel to St. Louis for the Bears’ game against the Rams this weekend. Chicago told their opponents about the injuries, but they did not comply with NFL rules on properly notifying the media, and because of that, the NFL is “looking into” the matter, according to...
Andrew Wiggins Dunked All Over The Bulls Last Night
For a maybe-bad team, the Wolves are really fun to watch. Karl-Anthony Towns looks good and tall and spry, Ricky Rubio is finally healthy, and Young Cock Andrew Wiggins has, so far, done a better job converting his all-world athleticism into production than last year. And he won Rookie Of The Year l...
Derrick Rose Turned His Son's Meme Face Into A T-Shirt
Derrick Rose’s son is one of the world’s more expressive sports babies, as evidenced here and in the photo above. This is apparently is not lost on Derrick Rose, who wore a very cool T-shirt in the locker room yesterday:...
The Blues And Blackhawks Scored 10 Damn Goals In Two Periods
We get emails. Today’s email, from Mikhail, is a perfectly acceptable one:...
Report: Patrick Kane's Accuser Will No Longer Cooperate With Investigation
Over the weekend, the Buffalo News reported that it appeared unlikely that the rape accusation against Blackhawks star Patrick Kane would go before a grand jury, let alone result in criminal charges. Now we know why: Kane’s accuser has reportedly told prosecutors she no longer wants to cooperate wit...
Report: Patrick Kane Unlikely To Be Charged In Rape Case
Three months ago, a Buffalo woman accused Patrick Kane of raping her at his home in nearby Hamburg, N.Y. The investigation revealed that a Buffalo PD officer served as Kane’s chauffeur the night of the alleged rape, involved a rape kit that might have been tampered with but was found to be a hoax pe...
Cops: Jay Ratliff Said "I Am The Devil," Wished Death Upon Bears Employee's Children
The Chicago Bears released Jay Ratliff on Oct. 22, but he didn’t leave quietly. The defensive end argued with general manager Ryan Pace in front of the team’s Halas Hall headquarters in Lake Forest, Ill., an altercation that eventually drew the attention of the local police. Today, we received the h...