chicago Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...

Who Needs Hitting When You've Got Corey Kluber And Chris Sale?
Chris Sale and Corey Kluber pitched against each other last night, and they each turned in performances that lived up to the Best Pitching Matchup of The Week billing that games featuring two great starters always get but often fail to live up to. In fact, Kluber vs. Sale represented everything that...

Pittsburgh Pirates Lose In Hilarious Fashion
After the Cubs blew a chance to win when Starlin Castro was easily thrown out at the plate in the bottom of the 10th, Chicago made good when Gregory Polanco was unable to handle a similar short popup with the bases loaded in the 12th. In classic baseball scoring fashion, it was declared a single....

Somebody Find Kenny A Milk Crate To Stand On
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook....

There's Still Nothing Quite Like A LeBron James Chasedown Block
Watching LeBron James suplex the Bulls last night felt like bumping into an old friend. He does this at least once every postseason, but the first big LeBron Game of the summer is always a pleasant reminder of just what the greatest player in the world is really capable of. Hey guys, LeBron is here,...

Jon "Doesn't Have The Yips" Lester Airmails Throw To First Base
The Cubs say that the media is making a mountain out of a molehill regarding Jon Lester’s problems throwing over to first base, but all available evidence suggests that the man has the yips. Prior to tonight’s game against the Reds, Lester hadn’t thrown over to first base in 66 games, since 2013. To...


Adam Eaton's Diving Catch Will Be Hard To Top
We’re not even a week into the 2015 baseball season, but I feel confident saying that it’s going to be very hard for any outfielder to make a catch this season that will top what White Sox center fielder Adam Eaton did today. ...

Kendall Gill Remembers How He Learned Not To Trash Talk Michael Jordan
It’s kind of crazy that we’re still hearing new stories about Michael Jordan’s famously hyper-competitive streak this far past his playing career. Today, Kendall Gill posted a video of one particular incident when MJ got his revenge on him and Alonzo Mourning after the young ‘uns had the audacity t...

Local Cubs Broadcast Intro Is Just A Disaster
The GIF above cycles through some of the graphics that were used in the intro package that led into ABC 7’s broadcast of yesterday’s Cubs game. Did you catch all those errors? Here, let us slow things down for you....

Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...

Wrigley Field To Be Stocked With Portable Toilets
After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night, the Chicago Cubs are taking steps to replace the bathroom facilities that have been knocked out by the ongoing construction at the stadium. Here come the portable toilets to save the day! ...

Did Derrick Rose's Ex-Girlfriend Announce He Will Return On Wednesday?
Derrick Rose’s ex-girlfriend Mieka Reese—who he dated for a number of years and gave birth to their son Derrick Jr. in 2012—posted the following on Instagram, along with the simple caption “W E D N E S D A Y”: ...

Joakim Noah Will Always Be There To Shit-Talk LeBron James
One of the most endearing things about Joakim Noah is his continued insistence on just not having it with LeBron James and whatever team James happens to be on. There was the time he called out James for his dancing in the middle of a game, the time he called the Heat “Hollywood as hell,” and there...

"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines
Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...

Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups
We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...

No One Bid On Jay Cutler's Autographed Football At A Charity Auction
A March 26 pet-adoption charity event at a Chicago Bloomingdale’s attempted to auction off a football signed by Jay Cutler. The starting bid was $100. No one placed any bids. No one. Zero....

Bo Jackson Had To Explain Who He Was To This Dumb Child
Bo Jackson has been hanging out at the White Sox spring training facility this year, acting as an instructor and imparting wisdom on dumb young people. Today’s lessons was for Drake LaRoche, the teenaged son of White Sox first baseman Adam LaRoche, who needed a little crash course on who exactly Bo...

Heroic Chicagoan Escapes Tyrant Tow Truck
We are all born into and struggle against the confines of a system that denies our individuality and seeks to limit us. Some struggle more effectively than others....

Wrigley Field Has A Big Jumbotron Now, Still No Bleachers
It’s three days until opening night, and Wrigley Field is finally starting to look like a real ballpark again. Haha, just kidding! ...