chicago Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marco Belinelli's Giant Balls Earned Him A $15,000 Fine

Of all the people to finish off the Nets, who'd have guessed it would be Joe Johnson Marco Belinelli? But it was Belinelli's massive invisible testicles, whipped out in celebration after this clutch three, that got the NBA's attention....

Derrick Rose Is Not Willis Reed (Neither Was Willis Reed)

Derrick Rose won't be playing tonight in Game 7 against the Nets. Can you believe it? What's this guy's deal, anyway?...

For a competing theory as to why Comcast SportsNews Chicago fired Susannah Collins, we turn to Paul M. Banks: "I don't think Comcast is as much to blame here. I think it's the Blackhawks." [ChicagoNow] And a letter obtained by the Chicago Tribune from the Blackhawks chairman appears to bolster that ...

The Reds Auctioned Off A Ball Covered In Jeff Samardzija's Blood

I don't know why you'd want this unless you planned to clone Jeff Samardzija, but hey: we don't judge....

This Sure Looks Like Jay Cutler Drinking A Beer While Feeding His Baby [UPDATE]

This picture is making the rounds on Twitter and various other websites, and the dude doing double bottle work looks a hell of a lot like Jay Cutler. Those middle-American features could belong to anyone, but everything we know about Cutler leads us to believe that this is absolutely something he wo...

The Bulls Are A Wonderful Wreck Right Now

The Bulls lost 95-92 on their home floor last night, but it was a loss that they should not be ashamed of. In fact, they should be proud of themselves simply for being able to field a competent starting lineup, because this team is an absolute mess....

Gerald Wallace Badly Misses Uncontested Layup

Actually, if you're keeping score at home, Wallace has a possession for the ages here: He misses a jumper, fails to use the backboard as he misfires on the bunny, and then he gets whistled for a travel because he caught his own airball. This clip belongs in Springfield....

CSN Chicago Fires Susannah "Tremendous Amount Of Sex" Collins

CSN Chicago announced the departure of reporter Susannah Collins tonight, two days after her on-air slip-up during which she said the Blackhawks had "a tremendous amount of sex."...

Julio Borbon Desperately Wants You To Think He Was Hit By This Pitch

It really is a gripping performance. You have to respect how thoroughly Borbon commits himself to the act, even taking time to bend over in faux agony as the plate umpire tries to explain to Dale Sveum that the ball was a good two feet from touching Borbon. Bravo, Julio....

Blackhawks Raise Ticket Prices For The Fourth Time In Six Years

And the season ticket packages won't even include the outdoor game at Soldier Field. This is the price you pay for a good team and good attendance, Chicago....

CSN Reporter Tells Us The Blackhawks Had "A Tremendous Amount Of Sex"

(Most of it is probably due to Patrick Kane's presence on the team.)...

Patrick Kane's Middle Finger Is Ready For The Playoffs [Update: Doppelkaner]

Rest easy, Blackhawks fans. The Stanley Cup playoffs begin tonight, and Patrick Kane looks like for all the world like he's back to behaving like Patrick Kane, which is to say he and his middle finger were spotted at a bar in Lincoln Park the other night....

"And That's The Cubs? My Fuckin' Ass!": Lee Elia's Famous Rant Is 30

On April 29, 1983, the Cubs lost by a run to the Dodgers at Wrigley Field, dropping them to 5-14, last place in the National League East. Afterward, a reporter asked Cubs manager Lee Elia a question about fan support. Elia responded with an unrivaled fusillade of profanities....

The Bulls Win 3OT Classic Against Nets And What The Hell Is This Photo

As we noted a couple of times (Nate Robinson scuffling! Nate Robinson banking in a 20-foot runner!) this afternoon the Bulls' 142-134 triple overtime win over the Nets was straight-up bananagrams and what on earth is happening in this AP photo....

The Final Seconds Of Overtime In Chicago Were Nuts

Nate Robinson—whose own mother would probably fight him, too—almost won the game for the Bulls with this ridiculous floating runner from just inside the three-point line. ...

Bulls Fans Break Out The Big Guns, Clothe Michael Jordan Statue

The Bulls and Nets are headed to overtime in Game 4 of their series and it is almost assuredly because of this little bit of Chicago voodoo....

Anibal Sanchez's 17-K Game Trumped Even Randy Johnson's 1992 "Hammer From Hell" Game

If we can indulge in a brief moment of Welcome Back, Baseball — still early enough in the season, right? — it’s a joy to watch a sport that puts the ball in the hands of the defense. Virtually any other sport you care to name turns a defensive player into an offensive player as soon as he takes poss...

Nate Robinson And C.J. Watson Wrestle In Chicago

Tempers flared in Chicago with seven minutes left in the second quarter as Nate Robinson and C.J. Watson got a little physical on a Brooklyn possession....

Taj Gibson Obliterated Kris Humphries

Oh Kris. Oh, oh Kris....

This Tweet About Patrick Kane Could Not Be More Inaccurate

Nice to see Kaner up to his old tricks. In Edmonton!...