chicagobears Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
God, We Hate The Buzzsaw
It is a sublime pleasure, TOTALLY, for a national audience to see just exactly what life is like as a fan of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Jesus. Welcome to the desert, Matt....
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Brian Urlacher's "Domestic" Woes
You know, people keep telling us about this Brian Urlacher custody trial business in Chicago, and it just makes us uncomfortable. Like many football fans, we like to think of Urlacher as an old-school, square-jawed bruiser cut from the Butkus mold. So when we start reading stuff like this —...
Maurice Drew Doesn't Hate Your Nerd Ass That Much After All
If case you didn't remember, former UCLA running back (and now Jacksonville Jaguars rookie) Maurice Drew had been implicated in the Los Angeles Denny's incident in which Bears safety Ricky Manning and pals beat up a guy for using a laptop. (We're sure this happens to Cuban all the time.)...
Maurice Drew Hates Your Nerd Ass Too
We received this photo of former-UCLA, now-Jacksonville running back Maurice Drew a while back, and we decided not to run it, mainly because it's hard to blame a guy when someone decides to take a picture of a guy holding a blunt next to him while sleeping. Besides, that fellow looks like a really f...
Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all....
NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker
• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect endi...
Panthers vs. Bears - 4th Quarter
• Fullback Jason McKie gets the Bears into the endzone to make it a 2-point game. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting this game to be able to hold a candle to the earlier game, but it's been outstanding. The Bears are going to need to come up with a stop, though....
Panthers vs. Bears - 3rd Quarter
• If the Bears want to win, two things have to happen. 1) Rex Grossman has to remain competent, and 2) the defense has got to make some adjustments. Giving up 290 yards in a half isn't going to cut it....
Panthers vs. Bears - 2nd Quarter
• John Kasay converts, and makes it 10-0 Carolina. I know it's early, but the Bears are not the Colts. 10 points is a huge hole for them....
Panthers vs. Bears - 1st Quarter
• Well, that didn't take long. Steve Smith gets loose in the secondary and the Panthers are on the board. It's 7-0 before a minute is gone....
Playoff Pants Party! Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears
Hey, look it's 2001 all over again in Chicago! Long live Shane Matthews! Sunday's Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears game could very well prove to be the offensive shoot-out we're all anticipating. We're predicting about 850 yards of offense between these two teams. With these two offensive flame t...
Blogdom's Best: Hating The Bears
Previously we have examined the great fan blogs of the NFL and Major League Baseball, and what an interesting journey it was. But every great story needs a strong antagonist, and to that end we now present the anti-blogs — those Web chronicles devoted to abhorrence and loathing — what the French c...
Kyle Orton, A Cop With ATTITUDE
Our affection for Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is well-documented, so we couldn't help but point out this photo, taken last Monday at Crobar in Chicago. (Linebacker Brian Urlacher was there as well, but he doesn't photograph as well, and besides, we don't want to taunt Michael Flatley any more tha...
The Bears Might Not Be Very Good
The Steelers have been plowing through the Bears like a Peter King through a grande double caramel mocha egg nog latte. The Bears are moving the ball with only minimal efficency, which is not surprising. But what is surprising is the ease with which the Steelers have moved the ball. Willie Parker ...
Orton: To Beard, Or Not To Beard
One would think Chicago Bears fans wouldn't want to mess with a seven-game win streak, but, then again, Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is looking pretty ridiculous this days....
For The Football Fan On The Go
From the Good Ole American Opportunism Department comes a rather awesome tale in Tampa: 10 people were arrested for operating a mobile strip club outside the Bears-Buccaneers game last week. The young capitalists actually promoted the "moving poles" with flyers and other promotional material....
NFL Roundup: Fore!
• Honestly, what more can you say about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson? This will almost certainly be a poll later this week, but his "putt the football with the pilon followed by a Tiger Woods fist pump" was, once again, completely inspired. (All it was missing was an awkward high five.) If t...