children Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Missouri Western Footballers Save Baby's Life, Doom Baby To Life Of Missouri Western Fandom
With 17-month-old Liam Snook accidentally locked inside a hot car, vomiting and starting to pass out, it fell on two Missouri Western State D-backs who were just passing by to rescue the kid. They broke the window, got him out, and gave the family tickets to a game. Parents, please heed this warni...
11-Year-Old Does Not Get $50,000 For Impossible Shot Hockey Shot, But Gets Next Best Thing: Nothing
We once again check in with Nick and Nate Smith, the young twins who won a raffle to take a shot from center ice for $50,000. Nick's name was drawn; Nate took the shot. Almost immediately it became clear that the insurance company didn't want to pay out, and today it's official....
11-Year-Old Makes Impossible Hockey Shot, May Get Screwed Out Of $50,000
Little Nick and Nate Smith learned two valuable lessons about life. First, sometimes miracles do happen. From 89 feet out, Nate put a 3-inch hockey puck into a 3½-inch slot. But Nate also learned that insurance companies are the devil, and they will fuck you over, just bend you right over the dash...
Cubs Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Baby
It's that time of year again, when dads somehow simultaneously shirk and embrace parental responsibility by catching foul balls with babes in arms. Last night in Chicago, a Cubs fan managed to juggle his infant to his left arm and grab a foul ball with his right....
More Foul Ball Benevolence In The NL West
This is in the same vein as the Diamondbacks kid warming all our hearts, but with a twist. On first glance, the boy in the Giants jersey catches a foul ball in the glove, then hands it over to the guy in front of him. But apparently the fellow in red had caught a ball earlier in the game and given...
What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....
The Winless, Scoreless Wonders Of Margatania FC
We're internet users too. We know setting aside ten minutes to watch something requires extraordinary circumstances, but these are about as extraordinary as they come. Please find the time, whether it be right now or later on, to watch "L'equip Petit," a short film about an under-7 team from a sma...
Tony La Russa's Tortured, Petulant Justification For Plunking Ryan Braun, As Read By A 4-Year-Old Boy
You can watch Tony La Russa try and fail to justify himself — he cycles through logical fallacies as if they were middle relievers in a 5-4 ballgame against the Reds — or you can watch young Mack Scocca-Ho capture the essence of La Russa's monologue in the video above....
11-Year-Old Is The Best Broadcaster The Mets Have Ever Had
Young Jacob Resnick got to call Jose Reyes' first-pitch home run last night (and stick around for the eventual Mets meltdown). He won an essay contest and an audition, and we see why he won. He's genuinely excited by the game he's calling, a trait all-too-often absent in our current crop of commenta...
The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...
A Ball From Josh Beckett Touches This Child Like Nothing Else Can
Baseballs are the most important thing on earth. It's time we stopped pretending they aren't....
If This Doesn't Warm Your Heart, You're Awful
We've learned a lot about fan psychology when it comes to foul balls. We've seen adults snatch them away from children; we've seen kids sulk until they're rewarded; we've seen grown men devote their sad lives to catching baseballs. There's something about that little sphere made of cork, yarn and ...
These Newborns Have Been Bruins Fans For About As Long As Most Adult Bostonians
We kid, we kid. Obviously there are no parallels to be drawn between the litter at this area hospital, brainwashed from their first days to support the local hockey club, and grown Bruins fans, who made the informed choice themselves, all coincidentally around the spring of 2008....
Every Overwrought Thing Adrian Wojnarowski Has Said About LeBron James
Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski, like many of our nation's sportswriters, doesn't care for LeBron James. But Woj shows his distaste with a bit more pathos than that of the average hack. Here, in order of increasing floridness and delusion, are some choice LeBron-related quotes from November 2008 on....
Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....
Holy Shit, This Guy From Arizona Really Might Not Have A Mouth
A Phoenix New Times story, headlined "Mouthless Meth Salesman Busted For Slangin' Meth, Keeping Unauthorized Shotgun Next To Bed," fails to answer one very important question: If Alan John Shepard doesn't actually have a jaw and/or mouth, what happened to it?...
Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching
I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column:...
"Dear Pathetic, Ignorant Twats": The Duke/UNC War Of Words Heats Up
It's an annual tradition for the editors of the Duke Chronicle and the Daily Tar Heel to exchange trash talk letters in advance of their schools' first matchup of the season. We got them both, and boy, do the young minds of Tobacco Road have a way with words....
Little Girl Getting Help With National Anthem Will Warm Even Your Miserable Heart
The microphone cut out right in the middle of 8-year-old Elizabeth Hughes's national anthem before an AHL game in Norfolk. The crowd took it from there. [via Puck Daddy]...
For Those Who'd Like To Do Something Better On Super Bowl Sunday Than Watching Football
It's a non-sports event for Charles Bock, author of Beautiful Children, who's been a surprisingly avid Deadspin supporter. His family's going through a hardship. Modern lit fans and do-gooders should consider attending and/or donating. Thanks for your consideration. [World'sMostLiteraryRentPartyEver...