cia Page 214 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
This month, Marv Albert celebrated his 70th birthday and joined the NFL on CBS. He announced he would leave his gig calling Nets games for the YES Network—he wouldn't have the time. The CBS job "wasn't something I was looking for," Albert said. Marv, at 70, is sports' most sought-after voice, so muc...
Ritually Edgy T-Shirts Prompt Ritual Coverage Of Ritually Outraged Criticism
The Associated Press reports that the dry-goods sales-and-marketing company Nike has provoked a reaction by selling t-shirts designed to provoke a reaction. The shirts include "the phrases 'Dope,' 'Get High' and 'Ride Pipe,'" the AP reports....
47 Of Maria Sharapova's Grunts In Her Second-Round French Open Win
Maria Sharapova faced Caroline Garcia, a 17-year-old French up-and-comer, in the second round of the French Open today. Garcia took the first set and led 4-1 until midway through the second, when Sharapova took 11 straight games to win, 3-6, 6-4, 6-0. Sharapova's known for her grunting, of course;...
Today In "You Don't Fucking Say"
Headline on a story that checked in at 1,655 words and required the contributions of 10 Associated Press reporters: "Drinking linked to problems in the ballpark stands." [AP]...
Man U Manager Alex Ferguson Charged With Earnestly Complimenting A Referee
Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United who recently served a five-game suspension and paid a £30,000 fine for criticizing a referee after a 2-1 loss in March, has once again been charged with improper conduct for publicly speaking about a referee....
At Least The Lakers Are The Best At Twitter
The mad geniuses at Hoopism have a new project in which they've ranked "Klout" for NBA social media: the Lakers are "the most influential" NBA team on Twitter, the Pistons are not very influential at all, and Randy Foye really needs to make his Twitter public. [Hoopism]...
Today In Great Quotes
"I didn't touch her," Haynesworth responded, according to the document, adding that he doesn't "even like black girls." — Per ESPN, prosecutors filed paperwork in Superior Court in Washington saying that if football-player extraordinaire Albert Haynesworth agrees to plead guilty to simple assault t...
ESPN Will Now Attempt To Be Kind Of Honest About Its Personalities' Endorsements
The ESPN transparency project, otherwise known as the giving of a different name to public relations, otherwise known as "Front Row," released the company's new endorsement policies last week and came out with a list of its commentators' "endorsement relationships" this morning. We documented a fa...
The Dodgers Are Concerned Enough About Fan Violence To Offer Half-Priced Booze At Six Upcoming Games
The Los Angeles Dodgers have talked a good game in returning their stadium to something that doesn't resemble a gangland Thunderdome where opposing fans get beaten into comas for no discernible reason....
Raiders WR Louis Murphy Arrested For Viagra Possession
The Gainesville Sun buried the lede in its exclusive on Sunday, when it noted that former Gator (and now Raider) wide receiver Louis Murphy had been arrested for resisting arrest and possession of a drug sans prescription....
Abusive Relationships Are The Talk Of New York Baseball
It's not enough for Yankees GM Brian Cashman to let the Mets wallow in the fact that they're the Mets. No, he just had to call them out for abusing "left-handed specialist" Pedro Feliciano last year....
Watch "Special Greg" Flip Over His Bike 30 Feet In The Air And Not Die
It is news to us that there was once an MTV series called Nitro Circus, which involved x-treme athlete Travis Pastrana and his friends nearly killing themselves in the name of x-tremity. But it turns out there was, and that some of them still do near-death things in the name of non-nationally-broa...
Boxer Teon Kennedy Gets His Face Rearranged
Jorge Diaz lost this fight by unanimous decision in Atlantic City last Saturday, but he also landed this evil left that momentarily turned Teon Kennedy into a mutant Steve Urkel. From a different angle:...
NBA Scouts Agree: Jimmer Fredette Is Very, Very White
The best part about yesterday's foreseeable New York Times story on Jimmer Fredette wasn't the obvious notion that Fredette might make for a less-than-dominant NBA player. Far better and more obvious was the list of less-than-dominant NBA players that several front-office types used to assess Fredet...
Qataris Develop Artificial Cloud To Keep Pitch Cool During World Cup
Qatar 2022 will undoubtedly see at least 15 times more pissing and moaning than we had to endure during the South African World Cup last year, but if even half the technology proposed for the games comes to light, it'll remain a fantastic spectacle....
Guy Who Won A Year's Worth Of Doughnut-Shop Coupons From The Astros Whines About The Tax Bill
When Bob Choate won a year's supply of coupons from Shipley's Do-Nuts at Astros Fan Appreciation Day in October, he "went up to the customer service window, fat, dumb and happy, and signed a form and picked up a fistful of certificates." Well, last month, the tax bill for free gluttony arrived. He ...
Three Arrested, Six Ejected At FA Youth Cup; Remaining Man U Fans Chant About Terrible Disasters
Liverpool and Manchester United played in the annual FA Youth Cup on Sunday. United came back from two goals down to win, 3-2. The other final count at Anfield: three fans arrested for drunkenness, six ejected for what was likely more controlled drunkenness, and reports that a section of United fa...
Snoop From "The Wire" Got Arrested In Operation Usual Suspects
Federal, state and city authorities hit Baltimore yesterday, charging 63 people with drug stuff after "acting on intelligence that started flowing in about the Latrobe Homes-based organization." Those cuffed include Felicia "Snoop" Pearson, arrested on heroin-related and aiding and abetting charge...
Jay Mariotti Is Getting A Tan, Designer Clothes, And A Fairly Mean Mug In Beverly Hills
From reader Jon in Beverly Hills, who caught Mariotti at a crosswalk earlier today:...
And Here's The Inevitable Blake Griffin Kia Commercial
A lot of us really enjoyed the NBA Slam Dunk Contest last weekend, which brought back a little luster to an informal, if hotly debated demonstration of the sport's signature play. Well, the climax of the contest wasn't a contest at all, nor a schoolyard top-this played out on a grand stage. No, we...