cia Page 217 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Buster Douglas Made The Worst Commercial Ever
You've seen bad acting. And you've seen poor boxing. But who else besides former heavyweight champion of the world Buster Douglas could bring you both in a single ad?...

The Aussie Football Players, The Pregnant Schoolgirl, And The Leaked Naked Photos
Australian football is in the middle of a sex scandal that blows away anything we've got. Months after a 17-year-old came forward claiming two footballers slept with her, she released nude photos of players and is threatening to leak tons more....

Mets Punch Their Fans In The Dick With Awful Season Ticket Pitch
Couched as fake SNY breaking news about a big acquisition, complete with press conference, you might be disappointed to learn that the Flushing front office's big target is...you....

Dutch Soccer Prank War Continues With The Old "Ball Made Out Of Cake" Trick
When last we saw the Dutch National Team eating lunch in a warehouse, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar wrecked Ricky Van Wolfswinkel with a ball and some conveniently placed air ducts. Revenge time....

Dutch Footballer Does Something Cool In A Video You'll Be Shocked To Learn Is A Nike Ad
Classic lunch hall bullying, with a pro football twist. Nice, but The Spoiler longs for a return to the days when Nike adverts weren't always balls deep in CGI....

Parsing The Hornets Financials
At The Hive's Brian Ball takes a crack at those documents. The Times-Picayune weighs in as well, along with accounting blog Going Concern and some French people....

The New Orleans Hornets' Sad Financial Documents
We've obtained audited financial data for David Stern's new prize, the New Orleans Hornets. The statements cover 2008 and 2009, and among other things they paint a picture of a team already in hock to the NBA....

This Marginal NFL Player Has Impregnated This Horrible Reality TV Monster Lady
File this under things we wish we didn't know, and wish we didn't care about. But Kroy Biermann has knocked up one of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta....

The Media Pearl-Clutching Over Kobe Bryant's <em>Call Of Duty</em> Commercial Has Begun
This is the commercial. This is Tim Keown's ESPN.com column, which is straight out of the Cokie Roberts "Oh noes! Blowjobs!" school of punditry. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEING USED FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT BY ANOTHER COLUMNIST GROUCHING ABOUT POP CULTURE?...

Well, This LeBron "Commercial" Will Probably Piss Some Gays And Straights Off
Guess it was only a matter of time before the LeBron James hate got to the "he's a gaywad" level. Here's to you, goldmic.com, for going above and beyond the call of homophobic duty....

An 86-Yard Punt Becomes Possible With Gale Force Winds (Update)
Last Tuesday's Washington-Huron playoff game featured this ridiculous punt from Huron's Derek Zwanziger. After a real boomer, the ball rolls, and rolls, then rolls a little more until Zwanziger's netted an 86-yarder. South Dakota high school football and science rule. [Argus Leader]...

Cloying, Thy Name Is LeBron James
Nike's LeBron James has appeared in a new commercial for LeBron James and Nike. It's as transparent as you would suspect, and somehow, it's even worse than the Zombie Earl Woods commercial....

Soccer Player Has Heart Attack During Match
Miguel Garcia, a midfielder for Segunda Divsion side Salamanca, is recovering in hospital today after suffering a suspected heart attack during a match against Real Betis on Sunday....

Referees Get Punished For Promoting Breast-Cancer Awareness With Pink Whistles
Here's to you, Washington Officials Association, for standing up to 140 high-school-football referees who dared use pink whistles for breast-cancer awareness the other night without first getting your permission....

Jeff Garcia and Maurice Clarett Make America A Sadder Place
Until its inevitable death next month, the United Football League will serve as an outlet for almost-rans to continue playing despite not getting tapped into the NFL steel-cage match. That's a good thing. I guess....

Ryan Mallett Is A Big Fan Of Erin Andrews, Sadomasochism
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

And The 2010 Red Smith Award Goes To...
Ken Tremendous! Congratulations. via Edited Wikipedia Page That Will Undoubtedly Be Fixed Shortly....

A Love Letter To Ken Tremendous From John Buccigross
"No one writes things like 'Heck, as a kid...' unless they are sucking up to 90-year-olds in Clearfield, Pa., who read Parade magazine" is the finest construction since Jaromir Jagr's rant on the Magna Carta. Thank You.—John Buccigross, ESPN, via email....

