clemens Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Life Of Miguel Tejada Not So Bad
Despite being named in the Mitchell Report, having his older brother die in a motorcycle accident in January and dealing with a reality where being dealt to the Astros is an upgrade, Miguel Tejada can't really curse the heavens just yet. After all, he's still married to the stunning Alejandra, who i...
I Know That A—hole Knows What A Vegan Is
Welcome back to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we’ll be bringing in various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, and MORE! - to speak to you folks directly. This week, it’s California Congressman and Roger Clemens’ own personal Inspector Javert, Henry Waxman....
Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity
If Roger Clemens ever tires of heading out there and "defending" "his" name," he's gonna come to the harsh reality that he is, after all, unemployed. As you wonder aloud what he might be qualified to do — we suggest perhaps dry cleaning — the Huntsville Stars, the Double A affiliate for the Milwauke...
The Other Shoe Drops In Clemens Case
I guess the lesson is that you don't come into Henry Waxman's house talking smack. Just hours after Congress recommended that Roger Clemens' testimony be examined by the Justice Department, the FBI announced that it has begun investigating whether the pitcher lied to Congress when he denied taking s...
Congress Decides That It's Time ... For The Comfy Chair!
I know that this isn't the favorite part of your day, but it must be done: Here's your Roger Clemens update. Noting direct contradictions in testimony given by Clemens to a congressional committee in a private hearing on Feb. 5 and at a public hearing on Feb. 13 regarding steroids, congressional lea...
Roger Clemens Is Not An Animal!
Roger Clemens arrived in Kissimmee, Fla., on Tuesday to, well, work out I guess. Why is Clemens welcome at Astros training camp while Barry Bonds is universally shunned? Answer: A). Clemens has two functioning knees, B). Bonds is not a Republican, C). Clemens gives better quotes, or D). All of the a...
Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole
All told, as the dust has settled from Roger Clemens' appearance before Congress yesterday, one thing is clear: There is, in fact, a worse stance to take under oath than "I'm not here to talk about this past." And it involves ass bleeding....
What Today Has Meant, If Anything
Who knows what one can take from the ridiculousness on display in the Clemens testimony today? As we suspected, no one comes out looking good, and we didn't really learn anything either. One guy's lying, one guy isn't, we have a pretty solid idea which is which, and it ultimately doesn't really mat...
What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings
So, here's pretty much what you've missed in the Roger Clemens testimony so far: • Clemens said the conversation in which Andy Pettitte claims Clemens admitted to steroid use was actually about "a TV show in which three older people said they'd used HGH and improved their quality of life." Oh, so...
Roger Clemens' Supposed, Alleged Day Of Reckoning
As you know, we've had a hard time getting ourselves worked up about the Clemens-in-front-of-Congress hype; someone's telling the truth, someone's lying, and what it has to do at all with the steroid "problem" is beyond our comprehension. But hey: It's possible that Roger Clemens' entire reputation...
Roger Clemens Vs. Congress ... Quien Es Mas Macho?
We find it difficult to work ourselves up about this Roger Clemens Congress business. We think it's because the purpose of this has all been so lost. Remember, these Congressional "trials" were meant to get to the bottom of this steroid mess, find out how we got here, for the kids! But that's not wh...
Love Means Never Having To Tolerate Your Wife's Saggy Breasts
So, the more Brian McNamee opens his mouth, it becomes less clear who's more of a horrible human being. Is it the opportunisitic "trainer" who ratted out his clients who gave him a career? Or is it Roger Clemens, so deluded by his own legacy that he's absolutely convinced himself that he did nothing...
You Can Use Steroids With A Beer Can?
The Smoking Gun had photos of the "evidence" Brian McNamee gave to Congress. Here's one of the pictures. Yes: That is a Miller Lite can....
He's Totally Rich Because Her Dad Invented Toaster Streudels
It's probably best, at this point, to think of Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte as characters from "Mean Girls."...
An Illustrated History Of Roger Clemens' Boorishness
Those Congressional hearings are going on today, but we have a sneaking suspicion that none of you care about them — frankly, we don't either — so we're gonna focus on the type of discourse we enjoy considerably more: Pure, unadulterated hatred of Roger Clemens....
Roger Clemens Had An Abscess On His Butt
Aren't you glad you knew that? Is your day not more enlightened than before? In a story found by Steroid Nation in the New York Times, trainer Brian McNamee goes into totally unnecessary detail about the aftereffects of injecting Clemens with steroids....
Roger Clemens, Chasing The Dragon
We know we're supposed to talk about this Roger Clemens business, but man ... do we have to? OK, fine....
Roger Clemens, Still Talking, Or Something
So, the whole Roger Clemens "60 Minutes" interview has run now and, as you'd pretty much expect, it settled nothing. (Honestly, what happened to Mike Wallace? He used to be tough, right?) Clemens is denying, now he's suing Brian McNamee and everyone's all, "Christ, we're still talking about this?"...