closer Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Grant Hill Drinks Prune Juice
The NBA Closer is now being written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. Enjoy....
Shooting At The Net Yields More Goals? Brilliant!
After a humiliating, unprecedented loss to the Buffalo Sabres, Redstate.org probably thinks the Carolina Hurricanes deserve a do-over. After all, some of the goals Buffalo scored throughout the game were intentional, unfair, and uncalled for. It's the only sensible conclusion after Buffalo's eight —...
Hornets Cancel Dallas' Dynasty
Nobody can quite explain why the Hornets franchise has been unable to beat the Dallas Mavericks since 1999. Experts agree one factor might be that in those games, the Hornets were unable to score more points than the Mavericks. Others blame global warming. Others still claim that last night the Horn...
Even For The NHL, Byfuglien Is An Odd Name
• I'd Like To See Where These Hats You Speak Of Grow In Nature. By the time Dustin Byfuglien's reign of terror began over Phoenix, it was already 2-0 Blackhawks. And that's when his hat trick on consecutive goals occurred — in the first quarter. It was only 5-0 after one trimester, and the Hawks had...
Lou Holtz - 60 Years = Jason Krause
Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on ...
Signing Off, For Now
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
Oh, This Is Just Sad
So it's at this point in the Knicks' season where we hear the band leader say "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure and an honor playing with you," and then, as the ship creaks and begins its slow descent into the sea, they play the final hymn of "Nearer My God to Thee." (Later Fred Jones will be found f...
The Cavaliers Do Not Have Hand
I'll admit up front that I probably don't know what I'm talking about with this LeBron finger injury thing. The Cavaliers have a staff of trainers with many small medical items clipped to their belts and handsome framed certificates at home, and I still use Flintstones band-aids. But what the hell.....
The Blues Own Buffalo
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
Yep, It's Still Big News When The Celtics Lose
A big deal is being made of LeBron's efforts in Cleveland's overtime win over Boston on Tuesday; he's front and center on all of the major sports news sites this morning. Of course LeBron was instrumental in the 109-104 victory — only the Celtics' second loss of the season. But Drew Gooden was was b...
That'll Be All For The Leafs
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
It's The End Times, People!
Not sure exactly what's going on, but just to be sure that God isn't up to some sort of Armageddon-like shenanigans, if you need me I'll be in a sealed grotto at the zoo. The Warriors — whom I believe began the season 0-6 — trounced the Suns on Monday, but that's not the big news. The Knicks have no...
Bruins Lower The Boom
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
The Only English Coach For World Cup 2010
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
And A Kidd Shall Lead Them
Was it just a few short months ago that Jason Kidd was practically a Los Angeles Laker? Just about everyone called it, then had to redact. Too bad. Instead of one great team (LA), we now have two mediocre ones. Bryant scored 31 points (on 7-of-31 shooting) for the Lakers, and Kidd had 15 points, 14 ...
Another Rough Day At The Garden
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
The Capitals Are Still On A Winning Streak!
• In Boudreau They Trust. Alexander Ovechkin tickled twine twice and Michael Nylander had a goal and two assists as the Capitals won their second straight under interim coach Bruce Boudreau. Caps 5, Hurricanes 2. The consecutive victories are DC's first since early October, the end of a three-game w...
Jesus And Leprechauns
• He Got Clutch. How in the world does Boston keep pulling off these ridiculous wins? Wait! Don't answer that. I don't want to know. Ray Allen nailed a deep 3 at the buzzer after Eddie House — Eddie House! — knocked away Jason Richardson's inbounds pass to give Boston the 96-95 win, their third stra...
The Capitals Are On A Winning Streak
It's the NHL Closer. I now snatch the mic from the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. "Hey, karaoke man, punch in System's "Chop Suey" will ya? The pipes feel strong today." This NHL Closer is written by a Canadian for Americans, Africans and Australians. That's it. So screw off, Luxembourgers....
A Little Left In The Big Tank
• Some Country For Old Men. I have no idea which Heat scrub cranked up Shaquille O'Neal last night — Chris Quinn maybe? — but whoever it was sure had that sucker wound tight. The Big Everything had season highs of 26 points and 14 rebounds, his best game in what feels like years, as the Heat handed ...