Shooting At The Net Yields More Goals? Brilliant!

After a humiliating, unprecedented loss to the Buffalo Sabres, Redstate.org probably thinks the Carolina Hurricanes deserve a do-over. After all, some of the goals Buffalo scored throughout the game were intentional, unfair, and uncalled for. It's the only sensible conclusion after Buffalo's eight — eight goals were an embarrassing display of hockey, and should be stricken from the record. Anytime I'm getting blasted in a sports video game, I just hit the reset button, because it's the sporting thing to do. I can't subject animated sprites to such humiliating defeat.

In Buffalo's 8-1 victory over Carolina, eleven different Sabres accumulated points, namely because the AP lede uncovered a vital piece of info: "The Buffalo Sabres' game plan on Saturday night was to shoot on net." That's the kind of radical thinking we need in today's sport.

Goals Are Good, Right? And if you think Buffalo's offensive strategy was innovative, check out what the Avalanche's Ryan Smyth conjured up against the Kings: "Ryan Smyth found a simple solution to his offensive drought. He went to the net and got the desired results." If this "going to the net" thing catches on in the league, We might get some snazzy lacrosse-style scores for years to come. After L.A. scored the first two goals, Colorado came back to score five more for a final score of — you're so smart! — 5-2.

Bonk's Adventure. It's a good ol' shootout from the great state of Tennessee. These "shooting things out" might help Montreal if they're ever going to secede from Canada, but for now, Nashville reigns supreme in shootouts with a 5 -4 victory. Former Canadien Radek Bonk burned his former team with a goal in said shootout.

Do-Nothing Congress. The Ottawa Senators sure had a nice start, didn't they? At least they have beautiful memories, because the 5-2 home loss to the modestly hot Rangers puts their losing streak at six and their Eastern Conference lead down to two points. Old Man Shanahan scored goals 635 and 636 in the victory.