college-football Page 237 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Ascension Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

UT Proves That Lane Kiffin Was A Hardened Criminal
The smear campaign against the newly-departed continues in earnest, as state and university officials confirm he never held an in-state driver's license. Throw away the key!...

The Blogosphere Eats Itself Over Meyer's God Gambit
The fuss over Urban Meyer supposedly milking his illness and invoking God to land a prized recruit is exhibit No. one million in the case of why you never believe anything your read on the Internet....

Every Time You Void Your Bowels You'll Think Of Lane Kiffin
It's cute when Knoxville pretends they didn't want Kiffikins anyway, but the newest proposal is fitting: bestow his name on the place they get rid of their shit....

Mississippi State Recruits Enjoy Ponies And/Or Strippers
It seems that quite a few high school football recruits made their campus visit to Mississippi State this weekend and a few mentioned enjoying something called "THE PONY." You don't think they're talking about Starkville's greatest strip club, do you?...

One-Fourth Of Lane Kiffin Rumor Turns Out To Be True
A Knoxville Lexus dealer confirms that a car they leased to Kiffin through the university was involved in an accident at some point in the past. Feel free to jump to whatever conclusions you deem appropriate. [WVLT]...

Fighting Irish Fighting About Kelly's Irishness
A religious magazine is questioning whether Brian Kelly is Catholic enough to lead Notre Dame, noting his association with pro-choice politicians. But football's football. If Kelly makes a BCS Bowl, even Jesus might let this abortion thing slide. [Irish Central]...

Because Hiring A Famed Coach's Son Worked Out So Well Last Time
Everybody and their mother is reporting that Derek Dooley will be the next coach at UT. But he'd have to break his contract with LA Tech! I'm sure indignant Vols fans will heap scorn upon him as well, right? [Tennessean]...

Breaking: BCS Supported By People It Supports
A whopping 73 percent of coaches, including TCU's and Boise State's, support keeping the BCS system the way it is. In a related statistic, 73 percent of schools competed in a bowl of some sort this year. [Orlando Sentinel]...

South Florida Player No Longer Lying About Jim Leavitt's Lies
USF's Joel Miller says he and former coach Jim Leavitt met in a church parking lot in order to get their stories straight to investigators about how Leavitt didn't slap him (even though he totally did.) [Fanhouse]...

How Lane Kiffin Resurrected, Then Destroyed Tennessee's Recruiting Program
Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron quickly turned Tennessee recruiting in a national superstar, but their noisy exit could not have come at a worse time and will leave the Volunteers worse off than when they took over....

Today In The Deadspin Society Pages: The McCoy-Glandorf Engagement
Need to make your woman realize you're not as successful or talented as Colt McCoy? Or that your proposal was inferior by comparison, her ring a dingleberry on the ass of Rachel Glandorf's? You've come to the right place....

Connecting The Two Greatest Tragedies Of The Young Decade
A Knoxville store is looking to send unwanted Lane Kiffin shirts to Haiti. Wait, they sold coach-branded merchandise? And you people bought it? You deserve everything you get (UT, not Port-Au-Prince). [Tennessean]...

Tebow The Cat Survives Miraculous Journey, Won't Shut Up About It
A Hawkeye fan on the way back from the Orange Bowl finds a stray cat stowed away underneath his pickup truck. "We named her Tebow, because she's a crier." [Cedar Rapids Gazette]...

Alabama Celebrates As Only Alabama Can (Updates)
With the Coaches' Trophy on display at Tuscaloosa Walmarts, we're awash in photos of Alabama goobers posing with a crystal egg in front of Dr Pepper pyramids. Send us any more you can find, and we'll add to our gallery....

Tommy Tuberville Gets The Keys To The Texas Tech Shed
Tuberville, late of Auburn, is Mike Leach's replacement at Texas Tech, according to Ivan Maisel's sewing circle. A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow. [ESPN]...

Seahawks Shack Up With Pete Carroll As If He Were A Grad Student Living In Malibu
Pete Carroll has come to terms with Seattle, according to the stuffed animals at Adam Schefter's tea party. He'll be introduced just as soon as the Seahawks find a minority in whom to feign interest. [ESPN]...

Craig James Has Picked An Excellent Time To Get Into Politics
James, the ESPN analyst who has not yet pissed off the entire state of Texas, is apparently eyeing Kay Bailey Hutchison's seat in the Senate. Don't laugh. The man has plenty of experience appealing to the largess of wealthy donors....

USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...

Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....