collegefootball Page 249 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Criminal Element In Canadian College Football
Canadians have a sordid reputation for being exceedingly polite, but they want to remind everyone that they can hurt your feelings with a cutting barb or scathing observation too. Of course, even Canucks who are on the other end of those vicious attacks can fight back like a Momma Palin bear on her ...

College Football Roundup: Crazy Chick In Your Team's Hoodie Edition
This was the week, if there ever was a week, where you look down the BCS barrel and see all sorts of moral dilemmas coming your way. There may very well be three undefeated teams. Right now Penn State would be screwed in this equation. (Although I still think Alabama will lose to whoever wins the S...

The Horrible Revenge Of Dr. Gopher
Well, this is pretty much every nightmare I had from ages 15 to 23 ... make of that what you will. But further one might ask, how does a giant, costumed rodent chasing students on a college campus with a syringe not make it on Nightline, or at least the local evening news? It's when the assailant is...

Fat, Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through West Virginia, Son
When you're so drunk and obnoxious that you're heckled by your fellow West Virginia fans, you know it's time for an intervention. Meet someone whom I assume is named Larry ... or possibly Rodney. But first please turn down the volume if you're at work, unless you want your co-workers to start chanti...

Happy Valley, Bloody Sunday Morning
How long must we sing this DUAN? College football team has unusual amount of success; college students and townies with a taste for danger stumble into the streets; police break out the riot juice; hilarity ensues. Welcome back to the club, Penn State! Your celebration after last night's defeat of O...

College Football Recap: Giggity, Giggity!
Were there a whole lot of football games being played by college students yesterday or what? Let's recap all of the Top 25 games - you can look up the rest on your own - trying to only use about sentence or so for each one because baseball will not let anyone sleep! (1) Texas vs. (6) Oklahoma State...

What'll They Do to Joe Paterno: Embalm Him?
We'll bite: we don't know how Joe Paterno did it. We're baffled. Everyone (including us) had him written off for dead at Penn State and officials in Happy Valley looked for graceful ways to remove the body from the scene of the crime and somehow a student must have done something and now the program...

College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...

Springtime For Lou Holtz ... ESPN, Double Standards And You
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...

Texas A&M Fans Take Online Trash Talking To Bizarre New Levels
Their football team may 2-5 and winless in their conference (and they haven't even played Oklahoma or Texas yet), but the Texas A&M boosters behind AggieReport.com are winning at least one battle this season. Their smack-talking YouTube videos are a surreal little slice of internet joy.They make ve...

Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Exhibits Excellence In TV Journalism
Here is Mandy Pepperidge Rachel Glandorf, who is supposedly Colt McCoy's girlfriend and, I'm sure, a top-notch journalist for CBS affiliate KEYE42-TV in Austin, Texas. Here's hoping the powers that be at TBS/ESPN/Versus/Fox Sports Southwest/Playboy Channel are reading this, because fast tracking thi...

So What's The Deal With That Tacklin' SEC Ref?
The most frequently submitted tip over the last 48 hours or so is the YouTube clip of that lunatic umpire who lowered the boom on South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia as he tried to run for a touchdown against LSU. For a good while, I didn't even believe it was real. It had to be one of those f...

Boston College Linebacker Is Indeed Breakable
Boston College linebacker Brian Toal is a tough guy. He's had a rough college career filled with injuries, but the redshirt senior will not be beaten. Some—like the Boston Globe—might even say he's unbreakable, as they helpfully remind us on today's front page. Right next to the story about his brok...

College Football Roundup: Mommas Don't Bring Your Babies to Neyland
Just a tip, don’t ever try and take a baby into Neyland Stadium. No matter how old the kid (ours is less than nine months old and was sleeping in a baby bjorn on his mom’s chest). Babies have to have tickets to Neyland too. I have no idea why the University of Tennessee would have this policy. Espe...

If Ed Hochuli and Tim Donaghy Had a Child ...
... It would no doubt be the ref working last night's LSU/USC game. This is easily one of the most amazing sports videos you'll ever see. Inexplicably, a ref felt that the LSU Tigers weren't playing tough enough defense against South Carolina last night, and he decided to do something about it. And...

College Football Recap: (Insert Obligatory 'Don't Mess With Texas' Headline Here)
• The top-ranked Texas Longhorns took care of #11 Missouri with relative ease last night, beating the Tigers 56-31. At one point, the score was 35-0. QB Colt McCoy starred as he toyed with the Missouri defense, abusing them for 337 yards, throwing for two scores, and running in two more on his own....

Lou Holtz Is Down With Hugh
So, Lou Holtz apologized for his Hitler remarks from last night. If anyone has video of this, feel free to send along. Another guy who might have to issue an apology (a very personal one) is Terry Bowden, who wrote that his brother Tommy deserved to get canned. Texas Tech and Texas A&M are locked i...

What are Hugh Two Lookin' At?
The big showdown between the Daniels and the McCoys comes your way this evening. Meanwhile, couple of early shoot-outs going on between Syracuse/South Florida and Texas's A&M and Tech, and Georgia is up a touchdown on Jay Cutler's alma mater. Was it obvious there I have no idea what I'm talking abo...

USC Receiver's Dad to Pete Carroll: "Treat My Boy!"; Grandma: "You're Drama!"
Odd little story coming out of Trojan land - USC wide receiver Vidal Hazelton's dad is apparently none too happy with how the team's medical staff has dealt with his son's injuries. So much so that Dexter Hazelton took to putting pen to paper in an angry letter sent directly to Coach Pete Carroll, u...