College Football Recap: (Insert Obligatory 'Don't Mess With Texas' Headline Here)

• The top-ranked Texas Longhorns took care of #11 Missouri with relative ease last night, beating the Tigers 56-31. At one point, the score was 35-0. QB Colt McCoy starred as he toyed with the Missouri defense, abusing them for 337 yards, throwing for two scores, and running in two more on his own. Oh, McCoy also set a school record with 17 straight completions. Afterward, his coach was sufficiently impressed. "Colt was phenomenal," Texas coach Mack Brown said. "He's showing leadership, he's poised. He's really having a good time." (We also have this dispatch from a reader who attended the game: "Derek Jeter was all over Minka Kelly during the Texas game today on the sideline. Even though she stars in a TV series about football, Minka played the dumb girl card many a time and Derek had to help her out with the rules of the game. When they were showed on the 'godzilla-tron' Derek got a resounding boo from the Texas crowd." Do with that information what you will.) • #2 Alabama almost watched its lead completely evaporate, but managed to hold off Ole Miss with a late defensive stand to earn a 24-20 win. • USC's 69-0 win over Washington State was their largest margin of victory since the '30s. • Sam Bradford carried the Sooners in their 45-31 win over Kansas. Bradford passed for a school-record 468 yards and three TDs. • Boston College surprised Virginia Tech with a 28-23 upset. Trailing by 10, the Eagles scored 21 consecutive points to notch the W. • Penn State destroyed Michigan 46-17, much to the delight of Joe Paterno and the Lions fans. The 81-year old coach, who once again watched the festivities from the press box due to a sore hip and leg, liked what his saw from his elevated perch: "My being upstairs — it's funny, I'm not sure that's not the best place for a head coach," he said. "I mean you really get a view of things, I get a better view of football games from up there than I ever do on the sideline."