corn Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Ex-Girlfriend's Favorite Gum Vs. Nocturnal Avians: Cornell-Temple Open Thread (BRACKET BUSTER WATCH)
Temple coach Fran "I Wasn't In The Beautician and the Beast" Dunphy and Cornell coach Steve "I'm Not Phil" Donahue are longtime friends. This either ends in a dramatic tie or a bloodbath....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

Fight's Off, At Least Until It's On Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ndamukong Suh Gives People A Reason To Care About The Heisman
Nebraska's defensive tackle is the new sentimental favorite to win the Heisman Trophy, a famous award given annually by the media to whichever name they've written over and over again in their Hello Kitty diary....

Friendly Texas-Nebraska "Discussion" Leads To Accidental Death
Two Marines got in a "friendly scuffle" while talking about the outcome of Big 12 Championship Game. Unfortunately, one of them forgot to put down his gun and now the other one is dead. [Sun Journal]...

The TD Stands for Touchdown
The ex-CEO of TD Ameritrade wants to be a D1 football coach. I don't think any SEC coaches are willing to switch jobs with him, as being a Fortune 500 CEO would mean a pay cut for them. [Omaha World-Herald]...

Cornell Business School: Home Of All Sorts Of Savory Juices
Yes, this has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. This is just completely embarrassing and awful and you won't be able to stop reading it: You're my hero!!!! My knight in shining armor!!! My private porn star!!!!! [GuestOfAGuest via Gawker]...

This Man Died 27 Points Too Early
An 89-year-old Lincoln man emerged from a coma to fulfill his last wish - to watch Nebraska play Missouri before dying. The worst part - he lost consciousness before NU's fourth quarter comeback. [World Herald]...

A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation
Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage....

The Long Strange Sad Journey Of Lawrence Phillips
Former Nebraska/NFL running back Lawrence Phillips was convicted of seven felony charges yesterday and faces up to 25 years in prison, but he's already in jail, serving a 10-year sentence for another crime. How did it come to this?...

Whither Mutton Bustin'? How the Culture of Self-Esteem Is Ruining An American Tradition
We can all agree that Mutton Bustin' is a good thing. But are liberal parents threatening the sanctity of this fundamentally American rite of passage? Yes. They are....

Why Your Team Sucks: Indianapolis Colts
Many people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This Deadspin 2009 NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....

Seriously, Guys
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Nebraska Wrestling Fiasco Makes Everyone Look Like Di... Jerks
"Outside The Lines" took a closer look at Nebraska's wrestling program (spoiler: it's corrupt) after last year's uncomfortable gay porn scandal, and somehow everyone involved ends up looking like the bad guy. Go figure!...

Somewhere, Andy Bernard Is Crying To His Banjo
It was one of those rare games when it was perfectly acceptable for the common spectator — OK, me — to switch allegiances on every score, even though I didn't actually care who won. Also, players on both teams wore those uncomfortably large triangles of eye-black. It was college lacrosse at its fine...

Monday's Lax Final Set, No One Outside Upstate New York Notices
Syracuse slams Duke in the Greg Paulus Bowl, Cornell shocks — shocks! — No. 1 Virginia in the nightcap. There really is nothing going on today. Softball on ESPN, lacrosse on ESPN2, Bernie Williams playing jazz on YES. Plus, Daulerio's making a packing list and checking it twice. [ESPN]...

Introducing Your New Deadspinner
Hi. I’m the new guy. Nice to make your acquaintance....

Seriously, This Has To Be Seen To Be Believed: Type In The Contra Code On ESPN.com's Home Page Right Now (Update)
Up, Up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, then press enter a bunch on your keyboard. Hopefully, we'll find out the perpetrator or the insane reasoning behind it tomorrow.[Kotaku]...

NFL Player Tries To Straighten Out His Woman With A Mop Handle
Oakland Raiders offensive lineman Cornell Green seems to have been upset with the mother of his two children over something. Sometimes it takes a little more to get a lady to just listen. [TBO]...