crap Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

With Shots At "Gory Crap," Vince McMahon Uses His Old Wrestling War Playbook Against AEW

Vince McMahon is nothing if not predictable....

Three Adventure Vloggers Die After Attempted Waterfall Rescue Goes Wrong

Megan Scraper, Ryker Gamble, and Alexey Lyakh were enjoying an afternoon with friends Tuesday at Shannon Falls, near Squamish, British Columbia, when Scraper slipped and fell into the water. Witnesses who spoke to CBC say that Gamble and Lyakh jumped in to try and save her, but all three were swept ...

Woman Furiously Shits On Floor Of Tim Hortons, Throws It At Employees [Update]

A woman in Canada was so incensed about something Tim Hortons employees did or didn’t do that she dropped her pants, took a dump on the floor, threw it, grabbed some napkins to wipe her ass, threw those too, and left....

Mystery High School Football Field Pooper Turns Out To Be A School Superintendent

One New Jersey township was having a bit a poop problem recently. Someone was repeatedly taking a dump at the football field and track complex at Holmdel High School. The police said it was happening “on a daily basis.”...

Report: Dumb Beer Ad Phrase Not Specifically Banned From The Masters

The dumb beer ad phrase, a corporate slogan the utterance of which will for sure get you kicked out of my household, even if you are my own mother, may not have actually been banned at this year’s Masters, according to an investigation by Dan Wetzel and Jay Busbee of Yahoo Sports:...

American Soccer Needs To Burn To The Ground

It’s hard to think of a single day that better encapsulated the pitiful state of American soccer culture than yesterday....

U.S. Soccer May Host The World Crap Next Summer

The U.S. men’s national team lost to Trinidad and Tobago in its final qualifying game last month, and won’t play in the World Cup for the first time since 1986. But the U.S. won’t be the only big country missing out on Russia 2018. ...

A Jogger Dubbed The "Mad Pooper" Is Terrorizing Colorado Springs<em></em>

There’s no use trying to skirt around this, so let’s cut straight to the chase: A Colorado Springs woman has been taking big craps in front of someone’s house for a few weeks now. They’re calling her the Mad Pooper and she won’t stop. The cops are involved. It appears to be some sort of revenge poop...

Serena Williams Ate Some Fancy Dog Food And Then Crapped A Bunch

We live in wonderful times. Thanks to the miracle of technology, we are able to enjoy this first-hand account of the time world-famous tennis star Serena Williams decided to eat a spoonful of fancy dog food, which caused her to shit her brains out....

How To Win At A Casino

With all due respect to the good people of Thackerville, Okla., I am not currently aware of any defensible reason to rumble down their I-35 off-ramp other than to wander, aimlessly and awestruck, around the world’s largest casino. That is, unless you really like tornadoes or porno stores, the two th...

What Is This Unwatchable Crap?

Mankind's 10 Stages Of Drunkenness, According To Our Best Sportswriter

In honor of his new book (and in grudging acknowledgment of Frat Boy Thanksgiving), we give you Dan Jenkins's famous list, from Baja Oklahoma:...

Mass Email From Wesleyan Athletic Department Brings Utter Chaos

Reader Frank has alerted us to a silly thing that happened that we, for whatever reason, find funny. Frank graduated from Wesleyan University, and so he often gets mass emails from various departments within the school. A few days ago, Frank got one such email from the Wesleyan athletic department:...

Can I Have Your Autograph?

Ray Robinson? Terrific guy—great guy, in fact. ...

Charlie Weis On KU: “Have You Looked At That Pile Of Crap Out There?”

Did last year's 1-11 season—dare we say it!—humble Charlie Weis? Answer: Maybe!...

“Hey Ungrateful Quitter": Emails From An Angry Lacrosse Coach

Consider this your latest reminder that lacrosse is the worst. What follows is an email exchange, forwarded to us by a tipster, that took place between an angry lacrosse coach, one of his players, and that player's parents. It begins with the player telling his coach that he won't be able to attend ...

Your Imaginary Boyfriend: Jesus Christ

Welcome back to Your Imaginary Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Jezebel's series in which we explore the wild and entirely fabricated world of dating a famous person. As is the risk with most fan fiction, things might get weird and things might get creepy, but the important thing is that we all have a good tim...

Philly Weatherman Who Got Roofied And Robbed By Latvian Escorts Allegedly Shit His Pants

John Bolaris is nothing but a former Philly weatherman with a Twitter account. His real skill has always been his ability to keep his name in the city's gossip pages by turning up at some Center City nightspot with pretty young ladies on his arm. Bolaris is now unemployed and engaged to be married a...

For The Person Who Always Thought <i>The Wizard Of Oz</i> Was Crap Without Boston Sports Teams

I have two pieces of excellent news for you. First, this work of art, "There's No Place Like Home," can be yours for only $1,000. A thousand bucks! What a bargain for this "beautiful hand painted mural by and up and coming local artist." You can't just walk into the Musee d'Orsay and take home a Gau...

How To Eat 1 Gallon, 9 Ounces Of Ice Cream In 12 Minutes Without Getting A Headache: The Secrets Of Ed "Cookie" Jarvis

Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Ed "Cookie" Jarvis, a 46-year-old real estate agent, married father of two, cancer survivor, and retired competitive eater....