crime Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's The Story Of A Man In Bra And Panties Who Killed A Pygmy Goat While Tweaking On Bath Salts
Lisa Powers of Charleston, WV bought her 4-year-old grandson a pygmy goat on Friday. They named it Bailey, after a Disney Channel show's character. Here's what Grandmother Powers had to say about what happened to Bailey by 3:15 a.m. Monday. The "he" in the quote is neighbor Mark Thompson....
Shin-Soo Choo And His Arresting Officer Combined For A Comedy Of Errors
Indians outfielder Shin-Soo Choo was arrested early Monday morning on DUI charges, the second such Indian and sixth MLB player this year. People smarter and more serious than we, like ESPN's Keith Law, have noticed and called out the trend—Law tweeted, "I'm so glad MLB is directing its time and mone...
Wrestler Could Have Gotten Away With Robbing A Bank If It Wasn't For His Meddling Fans
On the Combat Zone Wrestling field of battle, Nicholas Wilson went by the name of Nick Gage and his was best known for "his daring feats in the ring." Alas, grappling connoisseurs will go a half decade without seeing said daring feats unless they happen to be in a New Jersey state prison....
Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....
Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....
Today In Great Quotes
"I didn't touch her," Haynesworth responded, according to the document, adding that he doesn't "even like black girls." — Per ESPN, prosecutors filed paperwork in Superior Court in Washington saying that if football-player extraordinaire Albert Haynesworth agrees to plead guilty to simple assault t...
Albert Haynesworth Allegedly Swiped His Credit Card In A Waitress's Cleavage
This and other details from Haynesworth's indictment on assault charges stemming from a February incident at a DC hotel restaurant. It's one of two pending cases against the soon-to-be-ex-Redskin, and carries the possibility of jail time. [AP]...
Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall's Wife Allegedly Stabs Him, But He Claims He Fell Onto A Broken Glass Vase
As referenced earlier, Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall is in an intensive care unit, where he's recovering from a stab wound to the stomach. Per the Miami Herald, his blushing new bride Michi Nogami-Marshall was arrested last night on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon in a domestic di...
Phil Jackson's Zenergy Lulled At Least One Person To Sleep In L.A. Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real violent. Like, spitting in faces and hitting people with cars violent....
Holy Shit, This Guy From Arizona Really Might Not Have A Mouth
A Phoenix New Times story, headlined "Mouthless Meth Salesman Busted For Slangin' Meth, Keeping Unauthorized Shotgun Next To Bed," fails to answer one very important question: If Alan John Shepard doesn't actually have a jaw and/or mouth, what happened to it?...
![Reds Pitcher Mike Leake Allegedly Tries To Make Off With $59.88 In Macy's Merchandise [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j50yqmf1klkjpg.jpg)
Reds Pitcher Mike Leake Allegedly Tries To Make Off With $59.88 In Macy's Merchandise [UPDATE]
Well, this is kind of silly. Mike Leake, he who brought you so much delight in the first half of your NL-only fantasy league last year, with his mediocre stuff and good luck, was booked today by the Cincinnati police on misdemeanor theft charges....
The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....
Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....
Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....
The UVA Lacrosse Murder Case Continues On Its Creepy Path To A Grand Jury
The District Court in Charlottesville, Va. has ruled that the now-infamous case that charges University of Virginia men's lacrosse player George Huguely with the murder of his then-girlfriend, women's team member Yeardley Love, has enough evidence to go to a grand jury....
Rugby Player Who Took An Axe To Three Guys Who Allegedly Gangraped His Daughter Didn't Have A Daughter After All
There are a couple of details to update about the whole "Alleged Gang Rape Of Daughter Drives Former Pro Rugby Player To Decapitating Axe Murder" story. For one thing, he's been identified as former Blue Bulls player Joseph Ntshongwana....
The Dodgers Are Concerned Enough About Fan Violence To Offer Half-Priced Booze At Six Upcoming Games
The Los Angeles Dodgers have talked a good game in returning their stadium to something that doesn't resemble a gangland Thunderdome where opposing fans get beaten into comas for no discernible reason....
College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....
The Dodgers Seemingly Want Their Fans To Stop Beating People Into Comas
Six days after a San Francisco Giants fan was brutally beaten outside Dodger Stadium, former LAPD Chief William Bratton has been hired to review security at and around the park. Said team owner Frank McCourt, Bratton will "lead a top-to-bottom review of our current practices and make recommendation...
Eric Naposki, '80s Linebacker, Will Face Murder Charges; Goodell Probably Cannot Suspend Him
Some geriatric chickens coming home to roost on this one: former Colts and Patriots linebacker Eric Naposki will indeed have to face a jury on murder charges, after a judge declined to dismiss the case against him on Friday....