d Page 7309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Mitch Albom
To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, your local sports columnist is like Larry of the Three Stooges: You don't really need him, but it wouldn't be the same without him. We always vow to use our powers for good, so we part the newsprint curtain each Tuesday and examines a different lousy local columnist. ...

The Greatest Team Name Of All Time
Sad day in the world of badminton: The New Zealand national badminton team has changed its name. What was it, you ask? Why, the New Zealand Black Cocks, of course....

Bronson Arroyo: Now Officially A Rock Star
We were going to reveal the final of our three blind items today, but those crazy ladies at On The DL have something even better for today, so we're gonna hold off. They've put together a compendium of photos online of baseball players boozing and tarting it up with various "fans" across the count...

Blogdom's Best: Kansas City Royals
More than any other sport, baseball lends itself to individual blog obsession. Every Major League Baseball team has several blogs obsessed with chronicling the ins-and-outs of everything. Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding b...

"Ditka 84, Bengals Negative-7"
With the Bears' convincing win over quarterback Corky Thatcher and the Detroit Lions, and a NFC North division that suddenly looks very winnable, we look to the Chicago Bears for the most reason anyone looks to the Chicago Fears: Da Fans. Bears fans might not be the most spirited fans in all of th...

Anarchy Reigns At MLB Blogs
Has anyone seem Tommy Lasorda? We're starting to get a little worried — he's supposed to be running the flagship blog at MLB Blogs, but hasn't posted since July 27. One imagines his tan Sierra found abandoned in Laurel Canyon, the driver's side door hanging open suspiciously and a trail of fast fo...

Blogdome: San Diego Padres Edition
• What team scares the Cardinals the most? Would you believe the Padres? [Viva El Birdos] • Padres blogger: Don't hate us, American League! [Gas Lamp Ball] • Redskins fans might be a little too excited about that win last night. [Mr. Irrelevant] • Alabama school president in serious danger of damagi...

Congress Leaves No Steroid Unturned
Hey, here's something: Congress is looking into whether or not Orioles mustache rider Rafael Palmeiro lied to them back in March. To remind you how that went:...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Steve Phillips: OK, seriously, the Mets front office is missing about 17 staplers. What in the world could you be doing with them? • 1:30 p.m. Louisville DE Elvis Dumervil: We somehow doubt that you're going to make it ...

Brent Musburger, Public Nuisance
Thanks to The Mighty MJD, who directed our attention to this: ABC sportscaster Brent Musburger was ticketed last Saturday for drinking beer in his car. Directly after the Nebraska-Pittsburgh game — about which a Nebraska fan commented, "I think a lot of people needed a drink after that game" ... a...

The NFL Wouldn't Let Us Give Money
Like all of you, we're sure, we were moved and stirred by the NFL's selfless Katrina Telethon last night. John Elway, answering phones! Frank Gifford! Danny Kanell! We were touched by the willingness of such sainted former football players to roll up their sleeves and pitch in; they were answering...

About Last Night ...
So, once again you've awakened at the bottom of the neighbor's empty koi pond. We'll get you up to speed ... • NFL: Redskins come back to nip Cowboys: Parcells seems like 90 years old, doesn't he? • MLB: Back by popular demand, the Red Sox curse: Yankees cut Boston's lead to a half game. • NFL: Sain...

NFL Does What It Can To Ape Jerry Lewis
Well, if you're excited about the doubleheader of NFL games tonight, you should stop it, because tonight is not about football, it's about the hurricane, so stop smiling and having fun and checking your fantasy team and enjoying the games. The NFL will have none of that....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...

Dead. Man. Walking.
We're watching Vikings coach Mike Tice on ESPN News right now, and it's making us sad. He started his press conference swaying back and forth, like a kid in desperate need of Ritalin, and in the next sentence, he compared his players to sailors vomiting off the side of a ship and called himself a ...

Leftovers: Don't Mess With Texas
• Texans fire offensive coordinator Chris Palmer. Yeah, that'll turn the tide.* [KSPN • K State RB Thomas Clayton knocks over a couple of guys and speeds to daylight — in a car. [Tony's Kansas City] • Ronaldinho selected world player of the year. There'll be dancing in the streets of Rio tonight! Um...

Laveranues Coles: Stepping Stone To A Gay Athlete?
Is Laveranues Coles' admission that he was sexually abused by his stepfather the equivalent of a professional athlete coming out of the closet as a gay man? We wouldn't think so, but OutSports' Cyd Zeigler Jr. says they're more similar than you think....

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... • Hitching your wagon to Cadillac Williams' star. • So, did you bet that Jim Haslett would be the first NFL coach to lose his job? Wrong, hurricane-breath. • Enjoy the good will, Saints, b...

Barry Bonds' Blogroll
Sometimes we think we could play around on Barry Bonds' Web site all day. Unlike many athletes' who have their own sites, Bonds actually seems to put some time into his, mainly because it's the only way he can talk to his "fans" without the evil frothing media standing in the way. Well, digging a...

On The DL: That Drunk, Impregnating Farnsworth
It's time for installment No. 2 of our three-part series revealing the athletes behind some of On The DL's blind-items. Last week, we found out that the ladies say Cubs second baseman Todd Walker loves to flash his wedding ring at strip clubs. Today's blind item: I'm Ok, I sWaRe...:...