da Page 1022 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Make Osama Bin Laden's Death About LeBron James
And it wasn't Scott Raab (yet)....

Bin Laden's Death Means Something Or Other For The NFL Lockout, According To Some Shit Mike Florio Threw At The Wall
Osama Bin Laden is dead, and people are happy, but if we don't have professional football on 9/11, people will be super-sad. This is Mike Florio's argument today. I am not joking, and neither, that I can tell, is Florio....

On Steven Seagal And Lyoto Machida's Absurd Crane Kick Knockout Of Randy Couture
On Saturday night, Lyoto Machida landed a spectacular "Danielson" front kick to Randy Couture's jaw that dislodged a molar and sent Couture into retirement. Just as Anderson Silva did in February, when he knocked out Vitor Belfor with a similar kick, Machida credited Steven Seagal for helping him ...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Master Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets coldly and effortlessly dismembered to send a message to anybody who thinks their money affords them the right to treat the legal syst...

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit goes straight to Hell, where it belongs....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
The Boston Bruins visit the Philadelphia Flyers for Game 1 of their Eastern Conference semifinal series at 3 p.m. The video offers seven minutes of highlights from the last time the teams faced one another in the playoffs. Hope you enjoy it....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass front office wastes a second-round pick on Dan Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit, and then cuts it because it's even worse than Devin Thomas....

Vancouver Sun Columnist Has Transparent Crush On Sedin Twins
Maybe they do things weird up there, but this story (headline: "Daniel cements his Hart throb status"), by the Sun's Cam Cole, seems an unlikely way to tell Canuck fans that their team's top scorer is an MVP finalist....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

This Is Exactly What You'd Expect Jerry Jones's "War Room" To Look Like, Isn't It?
Tipster Eric asks, "Was there a little person in the Cowboys war room or a teenager?" That's easy. Totally a kid. Here's the important question: What were Isaac Chroner's specific instructions when he helped the lad* infiltrate the Dallas organization?...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit realizes it has less balls than a castrato....

Dana White Demands A Porn Star On A Leash
Never one for choosing his words to women carefully, Dana White has now taken to Twitter to attack mild-mannered porn queen Jenna Jameson, the sometime significant other of Tito Ortiz:...

How Kevin Durant's Jump Shot Knocked Denver Out Of The Playoffs
Kevin Durant, regular-Joe wunderkind, came down the court and drilled a three-pointer from the top of the key with about 3:30 remaining in last night's Game 5 between Oklahoma City and Denver. Then, on his own, the third-year forward personally outscored Denver 14-6, including his team's final nin...

God's Gift Commits To St. John's
St. John's has secured a commitment from God's Gift Achiuwa, a juco All-American. Steve Lavin now has the third-ranked recruiting class for 2011. Who would win in a name-off: God's Gift or Godspower? [ESPN]...

John Daly, Marriage Expert, Thinks Tiger Wasn't Getting Enough Sex In His
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a man with four ex-wives dispenses advice on happy golf marriages....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a dirt nap....

Yankees Accidentally Leak Personal Info Of 20,000 Season Ticket Holders
The New York Yankees accidentally distributed a file containing information on more than 20,000 season ticket accounts. The spreadsheet contains account numbers, names, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses, and was mistakenly sent to thousands of current clients....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until a judge goes all Agent Orange on Dan "Daniel" Snyder's libel suit....

We Regret Not Covering The Thong-Wearing, Feces-Spreading Meth Addict Raiders Fan Sooner
We regret the oversight if only because the unnamed author or editor of this story clearly spent so much time debating the sentence construction about 42-year-old Shawn Batie's meth arrest in a Lodi, Calif. cemetery that he or she should be commended for their detailed craftsmanship:...