da Page 1038 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Two second-round games tonight for your viewing pleasure: Caps and Lightning, which appears on your Versus right about now, and the Canucks and Preds, which will be on at nine, 10 p.m. Halifax time....

Derrick Rose, NBA MVP, Thanks His Mother And Warms Our Frigid Hearts
Chicago's Derrick Rose was named the NBA's 2010-11 Most Valuable Player today. He is the youngest MVP in league history. Rose delivered remarks to members of the Chicago media this afternoon; he sounded perhaps nervous and certainly young, because he is. But he was careful to take the time to than...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit lies gets double tapped by DEVGRU....

This Man Made Over $1 Million Throwing Darts
Among other exotic revelations in this ESPN list of top-paid athletes, Phil Taylor has become a very wealthy man by throwing metal spikes at cork boards. Taylor, who took up darts at a local pub called the Crafty Cockney, earned $1,044,000 in prize money in 2010. I'm sure he's very serious about it ...

So It's Come To This: They're Having A Debate About The Green Men
The hockey playoffs are long. Finding storylines to pass the time are key to getting through the two months. That said, I still can't believe anyone, anywhere is getting their panties in a bunch over the Spandex-wearing superfans of Vancouver....

Here's A Boston Bruin Doing A Swan Dive Into The Boards
Adam McQuaid with the Bobby Orr into the boards, on a strange play where he might have been trying to go high on Mike Richards but got his stick caught. Down for a while, McQuaid left on skates with an assist from teammates. He won't return to the game....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit lies down in darkness....

A Case Study In Incompetence: Dan Snyder's PR Guy, Tony Wyllie
Maybe you heard about the stunning display of asshattedness last week by Redskins proto-flack Tony Wyllie. The occasion: A University of Maryland College of Journalism “ethics in sports media” panel, to which Wyllie arrived late. Dan Snyder’s dumbass libel suit came up, at which point Wyllie offere...

Today In Terrifying Ledes
"Police say a supporter has been shot dead following a Brazilian soccer game that was interrupted by a swarm of bees and ended with a brawl between players on the field." [AP]...

Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Make Osama Bin Laden's Death About LeBron James
And it wasn't Scott Raab (yet)....

Bin Laden's Death Means Something Or Other For The NFL Lockout, According To Some Shit Mike Florio Threw At The Wall
Osama Bin Laden is dead, and people are happy, but if we don't have professional football on 9/11, people will be super-sad. This is Mike Florio's argument today. I am not joking, and neither, that I can tell, is Florio....

On Steven Seagal And Lyoto Machida's Absurd Crane Kick Knockout Of Randy Couture
On Saturday night, Lyoto Machida landed a spectacular "Danielson" front kick to Randy Couture's jaw that dislodged a molar and sent Couture into retirement. Just as Anderson Silva did in February, when he knocked out Vitor Belfor with a similar kick, Machida credited Steven Seagal for helping him ...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Master Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets coldly and effortlessly dismembered to send a message to anybody who thinks their money affords them the right to treat the legal syst...

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit goes straight to Hell, where it belongs....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
The Boston Bruins visit the Philadelphia Flyers for Game 1 of their Eastern Conference semifinal series at 3 p.m. The video offers seven minutes of highlights from the last time the teams faced one another in the playoffs. Hope you enjoy it....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass front office wastes a second-round pick on Dan Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit, and then cuts it because it's even worse than Devin Thomas....

Vancouver Sun Columnist Has Transparent Crush On Sedin Twins
Maybe they do things weird up there, but this story (headline: "Daniel cements his Hart throb status"), by the Sun's Cam Cole, seems an unlikely way to tell Canuck fans that their team's top scorer is an MVP finalist....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

This Is Exactly What You'd Expect Jerry Jones's "War Room" To Look Like, Isn't It?
Tipster Eric asks, "Was there a little person in the Cowboys war room or a teenager?" That's easy. Totally a kid. Here's the important question: What were Isaac Chroner's specific instructions when he helped the lad* infiltrate the Dallas organization?...