da Page 1123 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
SHOTY First Round: Dana Jacobson Vs. Erin Andrews
It's the final first round matchup, and it's a fun one, methinks. Ah, if only these two pictures could somehow be combined. Anyway, this is the last time with a new matchup. So everybody vote. Yes, please, Facebook people too....
If Mark Cuban Were An Abusive Hobbit
Looking for a toy that will compliment your child's ADHD while teaching him many new profanities in the process? It's the Ref-Baiting Mark Cuban Doll, with military stompin' boots and, apparently, kung-fu grip. Also, please note the "choking hazard" warning at the top, most likely added during the 2...
Goodbye Cruel Hexagon-Paneled World
I have threatened suicide many times — the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber is the chief culprit — but I can't imagine this. A soccer fan in Rio de Janeiro climbed to the top of a stadium roof and tried to jump off, all because his favorite team, Vasco de Gama, was going to be demoted from the first lea...
USC Wins Hypothetical Playoff According To Vegas Odds
Leave it to Las Vegas to sate all our needs. Even those we didn't know we had before. (I'm looking at you midget escort service.) Everyone knows that the idea of a playoff is so awfully complicated that it would require a Manhattan Project-level commitment before anything could happen. Or, you know...
If A Game Lasts Longer Than Four Hours, Please Consult Your Doctor
A reader writes: "Hey guys, So I hate to have to play the "penis" card here, but somebody down in North Carolina needs to be admonished for selecting a logo with some very Freudian undertones."...
Antonio Bryant's Left Hand Can Snatch Eagles From The Sky
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....
Hey Steve, Have This Souvenir Cup!
The fans in Carolina are so polite. After sitting through an exciting Monday Night Football game and then being forced to do a lengthy SportsCenter wrap up, Steve Young was clearly too busy to run to the concession stand and get a tasty soda. So some helpful Panther backer decided to gently toss his...
Gator Fan Threatened With Gun
"A 51-year-old woman yelling "Go Gators" during Florida's victory over Alabama in the Southeastern Conference championship game had a gun pointed at her by a convicted felon who entered her apartment after he misunderstood the cheering for racial slurs." Sounds like justifiable homicide to me. [Dumb...
Stacey Dales Out At ESPN, Turns in Long Pantsuits and Microphone
According to an emailer, college basketball and football sideline reporter Stacey Dales could not reach a contract agreement with ESPN for 2009, so she'll no longer be chasing down coaches and players for the WWL. ESPN has confirmed that rumor....
Kige Ramsey Paints Word Pictures With Alabama-Florida Live Blog
If you weren't able to watch the Alabama-Florida game on Saturday, I hope that you at least had computer access so that you could follow along as Kige Ramsey live blogged the event. Yes, the YouTube Sports broadcaster and owner of many fine Kentucky Wildcats T-shirts once again tried his hand at liv...
College Football Roundup: The Big 12 Meets the SEC
It's Oklahoma and Florida for the BCS Title—an imperfect end to a season when no football team was perfect. Except, you know, Utah and Boise State. But they don't really count. What with their small conferences and even smaller media markets and exposure. The BCS is fair and impartial. Except, you ...
SHOTY First Round: Chris Cooley Vs. Caitlin Davis
Just two more first-round matchups until we reach the Elite Eight. We haven't had any truly close matchups yet, though it's early. Today, it's Hot Pants/ Naked Playbook Guy Vs. Hot Pants / Goofy Facebook Lady....
NFL Update 2: A Game Colder Than Your Obese Sister-In-Law
Dallas (8-4) at Pittsburgh (9-3). Wind chill this morning was at 7 degrees, which means Steelers coach Mike Tomlin will come out wearing Bermuda shorts and a tank top. Wade Phillips will enjoy one of the few benefits of "natural insulation" today. I don't understand how, at 8-4, everyone is counting...
NFL Update 1: Fantasy Football Is Not My Forte
Chicago 20, Jacksonville 3. If you drafted Matt Forte in fantasy this year, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! Yes, nice job taking a risk on a guy that was in every magazine's top 15 RBs. You're a real riverboat gambler! Forte has 52 yards on the day and the scorn of 11 of every 12 fantasy owners....
Free Darko Stutter-Steps The Universe, Don't You Know?
Shame on me. I have neglected to plug Free Darko's "The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today's Game.." But I encourage all of youwho enjoy their sports books stuffed with the type of illustrations and freewheeling batshit basketball ephemera that will rock the bo...
How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...
Sean Avery To Enjoy Nice Six-Game Vacation
In case you hadn't heard, Sean Avery's suspension has been downgraded from "forever" to six games—including two already served—meaning Elisha Cuthbert's honor should be safe for the next two weeks or so. More hilarious than the fact that a hockey player has been suspended for dirty talk is that he n...
College Football Preview: Why Conference Championships Suck Edition
Of all the ridiculous aspects of the BCS system, the conference championship game pisses me off more than any other because it points out the flagrant hypocrisy of the college presidents. In the same time period when they've fought a college football playoff because of the time it would add to the ...
The Moonstruck, Rather Wacky Email From Jimmy Patsos To Kornheiser And Wilbon
Being a major college basketball coach is like taking a daily bath in crock pot set at 450; you live in your basketball world 24/7, eating and breathing the insanity until stuff like what you're about to read below slowly starts making sense. Following the jump is a rather remarkable letter from Loy...
LenDale White Wants To Beat Your Team, Take Your Girlfriend
It's been well-established that LenDale White says what he wants, when he wants. Apparently, what he wants now is to humiliate the UCLA Bruins, and one Bruin specifically—Maurice Jones-Drew....