da Page 1124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tiger's Latest Mistress: A Doping Scandal
Because Tiger Woods doesn't have enough problems right now, being embroiled in a drug investigation should liven things up a bit. At least he should be used to the innuendo, speculation, and snickering taunts by now....
South Florida Coach Allegedly Slapped Player
According to a report on Fanhouse, South Florida football coach Jim Leavitt decided to pepper a recent halftime speech with a little choking and a few well placed shots to the face. Hey, they did win the game....
And It Appears The Phillies Are Close To Landing Roy Halladay
WHAT? So confused. Three-way trade with Seattle? Cliff Lee to Seattle? Roy Halladay to Phillies? Little people to Toronto? Somebody make some goddamn sense already. [Philly.com]...
3-D Broadcast Fails To Win Over Crowd At Actual 3-D Game
Yesterday, in a stupendous moment of technological flimflammery, the infamously large HDTV that hangs over the field at Cowboys Stadium broadcast stunning 3-D images to the crowd....of the live three-dimensional football game taking place directly below it....
Missouri Basketball Players (Who Are Women) Beat Up Cheerleader (Who Isn't)
Much like their Kansas brethren, Missouri's athletic department is being torn asunder by intra-sports team strife. Only it's not the teams you usually expect, since we're talking about women's basketball and cheerleading. These kids do not compromise....
Late Game Open Thread: A Whole Lot Of Yuck
Team That Makes Old Ladies Sad v. Team Run By A Sad Old Lady; Rejuvenated Vince Young v. Reanimated Kyle Boller; Holding Romos v. Litigious Merrimans, etc. #nflforums [NFL.com]...
New York's (Post) Allllllright
If you like sexy headlines! /cue saxophone. Desperate Woods: I'm quitting golf...
I Saw Mommy Kissing Nightmare Ant
Sure, it's a little early—unless you're Jewish—but everyone's favorite NBADL mascot would like to wish you a happy and healthy Non-Denominational Holiday Time ... with visions of unspeakable horror dancing in your heads....
Ndamukong Suh Gives People A Reason To Care About The Heisman
Nebraska's defensive tackle is the new sentimental favorite to win the Heisman Trophy, a famous award given annually by the media to whichever name they've written over and over again in their Hello Kitty diary....
Sitters Vs. Standers – The Great Wipe Hope
Today, we bring you a very special anthropological study that painstakingly details the bathroom finishing habits of the modern American male. Warning: things here are about to get a bit hairy....
Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
It was bound to happen eventually that a blushing sportswriter would pick up his crayons and write something about Tiger Woods so egregiously stupid that it'd make Mark Whicker look like Grantland Rice. Take it away, Hank Gola....
Bearcats Bid Un-Emotional Goodbye to Brian Kelly
Brian Kelly said farewell to his Cincinnati charges last night and many responded by kindly asking their ex-coach to mind both the door and the area where the Good Lord split him as he makes his way through it....
Just Because He Tapes His Penis To His Thigh Is No Reason To Judge
"After David Akers nails 55 YD FG in practice, Jon Dorenbos exhalts in celebration, screaming, 'Einhorn's a man!'" [Via]...
Michael David Barrett Will Be Doing His Peeping In Federal Prison
Erin Andrews' stalker will plead guilty, according to court documents filed today. His attorney says in a statement: "He apologizes to Ms. Andrews, and expresses his deep regret for his conduct that caused her so much pain." [AP, TMZ]...
Notre Dame Gets Its Angry, Egotistical Man
The South Bend Tribune is reporting that after an earlier feint toward UConn, Notre Dame has made its decision and Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will take the reigns in South Bend. But is he a big enough jerk?...
On Baxter! On Keaton! On Ridge, Ronjohn and Blaise!
Because it's shaping up to be that kind of day....let's mock some prep school kids. Inside Lacrosse presents its All-Name Team. Apparently, someone actually named their son Remington Steele. A lot of Stephanie Zimbalist fans out there, I guess....
Tim Thomas Brawl Classes Up Denny's
The Mavericks forward was involved in an early morning throwdown at a Dallas Denny's today. Nothing good happens at Denny's at 3 a.m. Nothing good happens at Denny's....
And Now A Brief Update From Our Comment Ninjas On Policies Going Forward...
In the spirit of holiday house-cleaning, it's time for a crash course in comments etiquette. What can you do? What should you definitely never do? What, in effect, do we want from you, Mr. or Ms. Deadspin Commenter?...
Brendan Haywood Once Again Displays His Fine Moral Sense
Haywood, last seen in a fit of gay panic, writes: "All I'm saying is that Elin better be glad she's married to Tiger Woods instead of Chris Brown or this whole story could've been reported differently!" Amirite? [Yardbarker, via Rick]...
Bowden Announces New Endeavor: Holding A Grudge
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....