da Page 444 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The A's Got Embarrassed, Again, But There's Reason For Hope
So, yes. The Oakland Athletics are dead again. The A’s finally got to host a winner-take-all playoff game after losing last year’s Wild Card Game in New York but, for the ninth time in as many tries, they biffed it, losing 5-1. ...
Connor McDavid Is The God Of Late-Night Hockey
This is what I’ve been waiting six months for. Though there were some questions about the health of his knee, which he injured in Edmonton’s season finale back in April, Connor McDavid returned to the ice in style on Wednesday night, scoring the game-winner on the first night of the season as the Oi...
Poor Rays Sideline Reporter Keeps Getting Absolutely Soaked In Celebratory Postgame Alcohol
I suppose this is one of those good problems, but it’s still a problem! Fox Sports Florida sideline reporter Tricia Whitaker keeps getting mercilessly drenched by celebrating Rays players, who seem to view live postgame interviews as opportunities to dump truly gargantuan quantities of beer and cham...
Jay Gruden Is Going To Get Fired, But He Has To Finish Eating This Giant Pile Of Shit First
Who the hell knows with the Skins. At the organizational level, they’ve spent the past 20 years blasting away at their own dicks with shotguns, and there is no reason to expect they’ll abandon the effort anytime between now and when the seas rise to reclaim Landover. Maybe they will name poor, haple...
MLB's Empty Seats Aren't A Problem, They're Part Of The Plan
Major League Baseball saw attendance decline for the fifth straight year, falling to a mere 28,198 fans per game, the lowest mark since 2003. It’s a trend that has already prompted much public hand-wringing from baseball barons and the sportswriters who care about them: MLB commissioner Rob Manfred ...
Kirk Cousins Apologized To Adam Thielen For Being So Butt
Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins was very bad last Sunday, and wide receiver Adam Thielen, who finished the game with two receptions for six yards, saw his production suffer greatly for that badness. Thielen tried very hard to not say anything directly mean about Cousins after the game, but was inca...
Darren Rovell Spends $84 On Sushi, Mewls Over $1.68 Fee
Foam-brained brand remora Darren Rovell spent the first half of his day blowing a disturbing but unsurprising amount of hot air about California’s SB 206, fretting stupidly over billboard valuations and the dangers of “sham endorsements.” Having worked up a mighty appetite, Rovell then treated himse...
Darren Rovell Squeals At The Sky About The Sanctity Of Endorsements
So California’s Fair Pay to Play Act, a bill permitting athletes at the state’s colleges and universities to seek endorsement deals and make money off the use of their names and likenesses without losing their eligibility or scholarships, became law yesterday. People have concerns!...
Boban Marjanovic Enjoys State Fair Of Texas
Very tall man Boban Marjanovic, who signed with the Dallas Mavericks, is back in Texas. He wore an extra cool cowboy outfit to his team’s media day earlier this week, and he attended the State Fair of Texas this past weekend. A tipster sent along photos of Marjanovic playing a carnival game. He’s bo...
The A's And Rays Deserve Better Than Fighting For The Right To Be Devoured By The Astros
It is an accepted truth that the Houston Astros are planet-eaters, loaded beyond reason with all the things a baseball team needs to beat its foes stupid. Put another way, manager A.J. Hinch could walk up to either Oakland’s Bob Melvin or Tampa Bay’s Kevin Cash Wednesday afternoon and say, “Tell you...
The Steelers Took Turns Suplexing Andy Dalton Into A Toilet
It is time for the NFL to ensure that the Bengals are not allowed on national television again for the foreseeable future. They had their butts karate-kicked off Monday night by Mason Rudolph and the winless Pittsburgh Steelers, in about as dreary and joyless a football contest as you are likely to ...
Nike Running Coach Alberto Salazar Hit With Four-Year Doping Ban By USADA
Legendarily shady running coach Alberto Salazar was given a four-year ban by the USADA Monday, for what it described as “orchestrating and facilitating prohibited doping conduct” while working for Nike as the head coach of the Nike Oregon Project. Dr. Jeffrey Brown, a consultant for the NOP, also r...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Runaway Airport Supply Truck Getting JACKED UP
Due to the ongoing wussification of American culture at the hands of liberal snowflakes, crunching, destructive hits have mostly been pulled out of highlight packages, if not out of sports altogether. Gone are the days when you could look forward to Tom Jackson and Michael Irvin cackling sadisticall...
Sam Darnold On State Of His Spleen: "Going To Do What It's Going To Do"
Everyone in the NFL has one question on their minds: What’s up with Sam Darnold’s least cool organ? Thankfully, there’s an update....
Adam Thielen Tries Very Hard To Not Say Anything Mean About His Bad Quarterback
Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins’s play through the first four games of this season has resembled his center’s pants after a few snaps. His biggest problem is that he struggles to throw a deep, accurate ball. Both the defense and his own receivers know it....
Giovani dos Santos Carted Off After Gnarly Studs-Up Tackle Takes Out A Chunk Of His Leg
Club América forward Giovani dos Santos was carted off of Saturday’s match against arch-rivals Guadalajara after a brutal studs-up tackle by Briseño chunked a part of his right leg straight off. ...
Cyclist Breaks Down After Having The Worst Luck Imaginable During Race
Germán Darió Gómez Becerra fell victim to a cruel fate at the UCI Road World Championships in Yorkshire. The 18-year-old represented Colombia in the junior men’s road race Thursday and was riding with a reduced pack about 80 kilometers from the finish when he suffered a crippling mechanical issue as...
Some Pitchers You Probably Forgot About Are Carrying The Brewers To The Postseason
Reigning MVP Christian Yelich was lost for the season after taking a foul ball to the knee two weeks ago, but the Milwaukee Brewers didn’t collapse in their quest to make the playoffs for the second year in a row. To the contrary, they shook off the loss of their best player and surged down the stre...
Huge Puddles At The Cycling World Championships Are Causing Some Awful Crashes
The world cycling championships have been taking place in Yorkshire, England over the past few days, and befitting an event in fall in England, it’s been rainy as hell. Riding a time trial bike in wet conditions like this is particularly difficult, and big puddles claimed several U-23 men’s riders d...
You'll Love <i>Ad Astra</i> If You Just Want To Spend Two Hours In Space With A Sad Guy
Ad Astra is a movie principally concerned with two questions: How do you cope with and overcome the psychological trauma of turning into your taciturn, emotionally remote father? And what if space turns out to be mostly bullshit?...