da Page 447 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jets Quarterback Sam Darnold Could Be Out Several Weeks With Mono
Because nothing can ever go right for the Jets, Sam Darnold has mono. Darnold, the man Jets fans are relying on to become a franchise-defining quarterback, has apparently been very busy smooching lately, and as a result has contracted the disease you probably haven’t thought about since that one tim...

Jordin Canada Might Just Be The Heir To Sue Bird's Throne
The defending champion Seattle Storm took the expected fall that came with a pair of devastating preseason injuries, going a mere 18-16 in 2019 after dominating the league with a 26-8 record last year. But even without reigning MVP Breanna Stewart or living legend Sue Bird, the Storm managed to snea...


Dipshit NFL Reporter Exposes His Entire Ass With Blockheaded Tweets About Antonio Brown's Rape Case
Oftentimes, the worst examples of society’s despicable penchant for immediately blaming and/or discrediting women who report being victims of sexual assault are relegated to anonymous, obscure social media posters and website commenters. Other times, the dumbfucks embodying the trend are people with...

The Cowboys Look Fun As Hell
Right, right, right: It came against a crummy opponent whose ineptitude no doubt made things far easier than they had to be, and it was only Week 1. But in terms of personnel, play design, and execution, the Cowboys on Sunday showed they’re capable of being as forward-thinking and efficient as any o...

The Secret Fun Of Wild Card Bumper Cars Without An Audience
Having been surprised and inspired by Comrade Burneko’s scolding paean to the virtues of minor league baseball (namely, that it’s fun and people you don’t hang out with seem to like it so it deserves its continued existence based solely on that fact), I decided to avert my eyes from the smoldering r...

No, DeMarcus Lawrence Will <i>Not</i> Apologize For Gently Roasting Wee Giants Fan
Of course, there’s the very sweet and good genre of fan-athlete interaction: kids meeting their heroes and melting down for lack of ability to regulate emotions. But there’s also the equally enjoyable, if perversely so, category of athletes dunking mercilessly on children....

Ronald Acuña Jr. Robs Home Run, Immediately Turns It Into Inside-The-Park Home Run
You would think that robbing a home run at the wall comes down to getting a good jump, timing your leap, and having the insane hand-eye coordination to rip the ball out of the sky with your off hand, while crashing into a padded wall. Turns out that’s only most of it. As Ronald Acuña Jr. learned in ...

Iranian Woman Dies From Self-Inflicted Burns After Arrest For Attending Soccer Match<i></i>
Sahar Khodayari, a 30-year-old Iranian woman, has died after she self-immolated outside of a courtroom where she was being tried for attempting to enter a soccer match disguised as a man. Khodayari was arrested in March as she tried to attend a match featuring her favorite team, Esteghlal. She was ...
![Dear ESPN, Please Stop Using Yellow In Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Down-And-Distance Graphic [UPDATE: It's Gone]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dwso0v6k6heg9kpry9fk.gif)
Dear ESPN, Please Stop Using Yellow In Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Down-And-Distance Graphic [UPDATE: It's Gone]
For reasons passing understanding, ESPN’s Monday Night Football presentation uses a sickly greenish-yellow color for the graphic showing the down and distance. It’s a big highlighter-yellow block on the bottom right of the screen, and it’s ugly, and I hate it. On top of being ugly, it looks like a p...

Daniil Medvedev's Perfect Loser's Speech Completed His Transformation From Villain To Darling
Tennis is the only sport where the loser of a championship has to stand next to the winner and praise them. It’s a contrived performance, and often feels unfair because the loser is judged not only on how courteously they accept a wrenching defeat, but also on how insightful they are in the moments ...

FIBA Officials Missed A Call So Bad They Got Kicked Out Of The World Cup And Inspired A Ferocious Coach Meltdown
Lithuania’s run at the FIBA World Cup ended this morning against the Dominican Republic, though their chances of advancing through the second group stage were killed on Saturday when they lost to France by three points. The nature of that loss was highly controversial....

Daniil Medvedev Nearly Ushered In The Future, But Rafael Nadal Shut The Door
Daniil Medvedev’s run at the U.S. Open, the most absorbing of any men’s non-winner in recent memory, could have ended earlier—well before his final Sunday against Rafael Nadal had a chance to transform from old hat to modern classic. As late as the third set, the 23-year-old Russian was straight-up ...

The Great Wonder Of The NFL Is Ben Roethlisberger's Dreadfully Large Head
The Steelers got their asses kicked in by the Patriots last night, and you only need to take one look at Ben Roethlisberger’s big dumb head to understand just how poorly the game went for his team....

Red Sox Fire Team President Dave Dombrowski Nearly A Year After Winning World Series
Not even a full year after the Boston Red Sox won the World Series, they’ve fired president Dave Dombrowski, per ESPN’s Jeff Passan. Dombrowski had been with the team since August of 2015....

Jets Start Their Gagging Early In The Season, Blow 16-0 Second-Half Lead To Bills
Adam Gase had a chance to set the tone for the Jets’ season. He was in position to win the first game with an impressive defensive performance, make everyone stop with the eyeball jokes, and show that he was different than former head coach Todd Bowles. Instead, Week 1 looked like more of the same....

Vernon Davis Hurdles Defender, Burns Eagles For 48-Yard Touchdown, Walks Off In Pain
With Jordan Reed inactive, Washington started Vernon Davis at tight end today against the Eagles. It paid off early with this spectacular 48-yard touchdown, but that might’ve used up all the remaining gas in the 35-year-old’s tank....

David Brooks Explores The Reaches Of Pure Mind
Our old pal Alex Pareene has it right, of course: The New York Times, despite its pose as the one universal press outlet of humankind, ultimately is for a very narrowly defined class of East Coast rich people....

How Do The Raiders Do It?
Year after year, move after move, hire after hire, the Raiders outdo their own capacity for abject humiliation, and every time you think they’ve bottomed out, they bring in a new excavator. And now, with the start and also pending end of the Antonio Brown era, they can honestly say that the earth’s ...

Belinda Bencic Melted Down Into A Puddle Of Swiss Cheese
Despite losing a tight first set on a tiebreaker, Belinda Bencic was in complete control of her U.S. Open semifinal. The 22-year-old Swiss had bounced back against 19-year-old Canadian Bianca Andreescu to take a controlling 5-2 lead in the second frame, highlighted by two early breaks. It sure looke...