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Tuesday Night Fights: Four Ladies, One Elevator Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "quebra pau no elevador." Tonight's commentator: Emma Carmichael. (Coming next week: Redneck action, yo.)...

Watch This Gigantic High School Running Back Score Fat Guy Touchdowns
One of the sadder developments in the NFL has been the extinction of the fat running back. Gone are the days when Jerome Bettis, T.J. Duckett, Ron Dayne, Najeh Davenport, and LenDale White made a living by hefting their considerable weight up and down the field....

Joe Buck Calls A Hockey Game (Sort Of)
St. Louis's favorite son, Joe Buck, was on hand for Blues-Kings last night and the St. Louis booth of Darren Pang and John Kelly invited Joe inside for some lively banter and a surprise play-by-play turn. Buck admittedly has no idea who any of the Kings are—to be fair to Joe, neither does Los Angel...

The Seven Stages Of Phil Knight Not Knowing What The Hell He's Talking About
The NCAA and Louis Freeh have found spots on Phil Knight's ever-changing shit list. One group never on the list? The Paternos; Knight's feelings for the late Joe Paterno and his family have never wavered. Rather, he's just struggled with accepting those feelings depending on who happened to have re...

Washington Redskins "Proudly" Defend Their Name In The Dumbest Way Possible
Here in the 21st century, there is a growing sentiment that the Washington Redskins should finally adopt a less offensive team name. DC mayor Vincent Gray wants the name changed. Longtime DC newsman and real-life Sugar Bear Jim Vance wants the name changed. And Mike Florio wants RGIII to want the na...


The Golden State Warriors' New Alternate Jersey Has Sleeves, For Some Reason
The Golden State Warriors today debuted a new alternate jersey that they're calling "revolutionary," "innovative," and "profound."...

The Best Detail In The <i>NYT</i>'s Jay Williams Profile Is, Of Course, About Michael Jordan
The New York Times published a profile of former Duke star Jay (Jason) Williams over the weekend, and it's worth a read. It details the motorcycle accident that derailed Williams's career after a 95-13 three-year run in Durham and just a single season in the NBA, and the rather incredible rehabilita...

What The Paterno Family's Investigation Got Right And Wrong About The Freeh Report
The Paterno family's exhaustive evaluation of the Freeh report, prepared by the family's attorney and other experts who were paid to reach the conclusions the family wanted, is right about this much: The proof that Joe Paterno orchestrated or even participated in a malicious cover-up of Jerry Sandus...

How'd Those Fans Get There? A Deeper Dive Into The Facebook NFL Fandom Map
After weeks of us awkwardly guessing who wanted to watch which NFL games, Facebook finally used its terrifying trove of user data and made the map that no one else could. In our original post, we pointed out some of the more surprising fan pockets, but the data deserve a deeper dive. ...

This Is The Line For Single-Game Marlins Tickets Minutes Before They Went On Sale
So, the Marlins are not exactly popular in Miami ever at the moment. Whether it is the $1.2 billion dollars Jeffrey And The Amazing Technicolor Stadium the county's on the hook for, the unwillingness to spend money on a major league roster or the appurtenant fire sales, the Marlins are really not p...

Here Is The Paterno Family's Response To The Freeh Report
Joe Paterno’s family’s PR machine is up and running. The family of the late Penn State coach’s response to the Freeh report is now live online, and three of the four men who prepared the report—former Pennsylvania governor and ex-U.S. attorney general Dick Thornburgh, Paterno family attorney Wick So...

<i>Saturday Night Live</i>'s Cold Open Spoofed The Super Bowl Blackout
It's been a week since the Super Bowl, but Saturday Night Live is a weekly show, unfortunately airing the night before Super Bowl Sunday, so they just got around to pointing out the uselessness of studio shows. Keenan Thompson as James Brown guides the skit and has some fun when, at his wit's end, h...

Should You Storm The Court? An All-Purpose Guide
Four of the top five teams in college hoops lost on the road this week. When that happens, students storm courts. Illinois hits a last-second bunny to break a tie with No. 1 Indiana? That's a stormin'. TCU, heretofore winless in the Big 12, never trailed on the way to embarrassing No. 5 Kansas? That...

This Heartwarming Story About A Small-Town High School Basketball Game Will Warm Your Heart
The Oregonian just published a story (with video!) that the reporter realized wouldn't jilt the planet off its axis. The lead, after all, reads: "In a small gym in the middle of nowhere, two boys locked eyes last fall in the final seconds of a meaningless, one-sided high school basketball game." Su...

Here's The U.S. Men's National Team Friendly In Tampa That <em>Outside the Lines</em> Thinks Was Fixed By A Singaporean Crime Syndicate
On Monday, we noted that the director of Europol, which conducted an investigation into the massive match-fixing scandal that has called into question a great deal of soccer's recent history, was a little surprised that the plot infiltrated the United Kingdom. Europol's Rob Wainwright told reporte...

At UNC, "One Of The Worst Academic Fraud Cases In American History" Has Been Traced Back To One Guy
The University of North Carolina's academic fraud scandal has deepened and widened, and local officials have done the sensible thing in locating a fall guy. A brief refresher on why they need one: In December, an investigation officially found what had seemed probable from Julis Peppers' unintention...

After 22,987 Minutes Of Unemployment, 6,899 Minutes Of Employment, And Another 15,659 Minutes Of Unemployment, Rob Ryan Has Signed On With The Saints
Initial firing confirmed at 4:54 p.m., Jan. 8:...

Here's The Letter Joe Paterno's Widow Sent To Penn State Football Lettermen Today
The Joe Paterno PR offensive is in full swing, and in advance of it, Paterno's widow, Sue, sent out a letter addressed to Penn State football lettermen this morning. The letter, which was posted to Twitter by Seattle Seahawks fullback and former Penn State quarterback Michael Robinson, explains more...

Kobe Bryant Hisses Like A Snake On The Court, According To Jordan Crawford
Yesterday's installment of Dan Le Batard's ESPN podcast featured a segment in which Le Batard is joined by Wizards guard Jordan Crawford. The ensuing conversation isn't anything special, save for this anecdote about Crawford's experience matching up against Kobe Bryant (transcription courtesy of DC...