da Page 876 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Bent Over Backwards Not To Say "Pistol" During The New Mexico Bowl, Then Said "Shotgun" During The Idaho Potato Bowl
On Friday, ESPN senior vice president and executive producer Mark Gross sent a memo to his staff. It read in part:...

The Texas Basketball Holiday Song Wars Continue: Here Are The Dallas Mavericks, Trying To Sing "Sleigh Ride"
Not to be outdone by their rivals in Houston, who sort of sang the Dreidel Song, the Dallas Mavericks got together to sort of sing a "Sleigh Ride" karaoke. It's pretty good, especially, Chris Kaman, who is funnier than he looks. Rick Carlisle, too, and O.J Mayo, who only makes sound effects. Now a...

"Take That Nigger Off The TV, We Wanna Watch Football!": Idiots Respond To NBC Pre-Empting <em>Sunday Night Football</em>
NBC pre-empted the first quarter of tonight’s 49ers-Patriots game to show President Obama’s speech at the Newtown memorial for victims of the Sandy Hook shooting. As you might expect, many football fans didn’t take kindly to this. (So, too, some Bob’s Burgers fans.) Here are those idiots, led by so...

Tonight's <em>Saturday Night Live</em> Cold Open: The New York Children's Chorus Singing "Silent Night"
Given yesterday's devastating events in Connecticut, it seemed impossible for NBC to put together a Saturday Night Live cold open that could be seen in any way as appropriate for the mood. In the end, they eschewed any attempt at making the audience laugh—instead going with a touching performance f...

Cincinnati And UConn Said To Ponder Starting Yet Another Geographically Absurd Conference
With the Big East in full meltdown mode, two of the traditional basketball powers are considering a move to the ACC—or, barring that, UConn and Cincinnati will take their ball and go start their own conference, according to The Sporting News. The only flaw in this plan is that the new conference wou...

Unranked Butler Knocked Off No. 1 Indiana In Overtime On An Awkward Floater From Walk-On Sophomore Alex Barlow
It shouldn't have even been as close it was down the stretch—Butler has been a tough draw since Brad Stevens became coach after the 2007, and it's doubtful that Indiana took them lightly, but this was a match-up of a No. 1 ranked team against an unranked opponent on a neutral floor. Indiana had come...

Daryl Morey Made By Far The Most Transactions In His Fantasy Football League, But Still Came In Eleventh And Lost To His Wife
Via the Twitter of Daryl Morey—God bless him, he has a sense of humor about the whole thing—comes this scorecard from his season of fantasy football. Daryl Morey is the GM of two teams: the Houston Rockets (a basketball franchise) and the Morey Eels (a fantasy football franchise). One of the jobs, h...

Among About A Billion Candidates, Cleatus, The Dancing Animatronic NFL Today Robot, May Have Sent The Most Useless Tweet Yesterday
When the mascots of corporations send out painfully canned condolences—our thoughts and prayers, seriously, from this ridiculously stupid dancing robot—people always say, "Oh man, I pity the poor intern that had to write that B.S." I've got news for you: It probably wasn't an intern. It was probably...

A Soccer Match Between Teams From Argentina And Brazil Ended Early Because Police Beat And Threatened The Argentine Team In Their Locker Room At Halftime
This happened a couple of days ago, but we missed it with everything else going on. At Wednesday evening's Copa Sudamericana—Wikipedia calls it "the second most prestigious club competition in South American football"—between Brazil's São Paulo and Argentina's Tigre, some pre-match gamesmanship and...

Jovan Belcher And Adam Lanza Were Not Militias: Shut Up About The Second Amendment
Two weeks ago, in the aftermath of the Jovan Belcher murder-suicide, Bob Costas went on national television and said some sensible things about guns, and lots of people—some of them on this very site—responded with all the predictable idiot lowing. This was bad enough, but the true measure of how fu...

College ShameDay: Answering The Questions You Weren't Asking About The Early Bowl Games
Our weekly college football shame index previews the pre-Christmas bowls. ...

Bristolmetrics: ESPN Covered A Meaningless <em>Monday Night Football Game</em> More Than The Jovan Belcher Murder-Suicide
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

A Suffocating Triumph: <em>Zero Dark Thirty</em>, Reviewed
1. I've always thought the best compliment you can give a movie is that, while it's playing, you forget not only that you are watching a movie, but also that you are a person with a life that was going on before the movie and will continue going on afterward. These are the transformative films, the ...

Robert Griffin III Will Make You Forget That Dan Snyder Is An Awful Person
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Josh Brent's Blood Alcohol Content Was More Than Twice The Legal Limit When He Flipped His Car
Irving police arrested Cowboys DT Josh Brent for "intoxication manslaughter," so we knew that he was under the influence when he flipped his car in the crash that ultimately led to Jerry Brown's death. Now, the Dallas Morning News reports that Brent's BAC was .18, more than twice the legal limit, ro...

Happy Birthday, Ryan Boys! Looking Back At 100 Combined Years Of Rex and Rob
Rex and Rob Ryan turn 50 today. That's 100 years of Oklahoma-born, Ontario-raised, Illinois-and-Oklahoma-schooled, good-ole-boy-defensive-mastermindedness. We take this moment to look back fondly on all the joy the two—seen here in their college days—have given us. ...

Here's A Lady Pantomiming A Double Blowjob At The Celtics Game Last Night
The Celtics beat the Mavericks last night in double overtime, but it's safe to say that the most important thing to happen during the game took place in the third quarter, during a timeout: this unhappy-looking woman pretended to give a double blowjob for some reason....

Throwing Elbows, Getting Diarrhea, And Losing Eight Straight: Tracy McGrady Is Not Enjoying China
Here is a picture of Tracy McGrady from Alexander Chernykh, who helpfully adds the context that Tracy McGrady's Chinese team—the Qingdao Double Star Eagles—are 0-8, and fired their coach two games into the season. Though McGrady suggested, in an exclusive interview with ESPN's chief Dancing With Th...

Italian Man Recognized For Being Soccer Club's Only Fan
Arrigo Brovedani is a wine merchant and a fan of Udinese, an Italian Serie A soccer club. A few days ago, he was in Genoa on business, about four hours from Friuli, where Udinese is based. It happened to be the same day Udinese was playing Sampdoria, the club based in Genoa. So Brovedani decided to ...

Infographic: Watch Coaches Climb Up The Hierarchy Of College Football
Three Saturdays ago, Tennessee lost to Vanderbilt, 41-18, dropping the Volunteers to 4-7 on the season and 0-7 in the SEC. This pretty inconsequential game has led to a brief but wonderful domino effect, wherein: ...