Among About A Billion Candidates, Cleatus, The Dancing Animatronic NFL Today Robot, May Have Sent The Most Useless Tweet Yesterday

When the mascots of corporations send out painfully canned condolences—our thoughts and prayers, seriously, from this ridiculously stupid dancing robot—people always say, "Oh man, I pity the poor intern that had to write that B.S." I've got news for you: It probably wasn't an intern. It was probably a well-compensated social media guru, working for the 20th Century Fox Football Wing version of MLB Advanced Media, who wrote that tweet. Some guy whose job it is write tweets from this account—there have been more than 4,500 of them, someone is doing it—was watching the news yesterday, rubbed his temples and thought to himself, "What does Cleatus—the animated interstitial NFL Today graphic that for some reason is a dancing, armor-wearing robot—have to say about this tragedy?" And then he wrote that.

Cleatus in action, for the uninitiated: