da Page 880 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The USTA Told This Stellar Junior Player She Was Too Fat For The U.S. Open
Taylor Townsend is a 16-year-old tennis phenom. She's the No. 1 ranked girls junior and won the Australian Open juniors tournament earlier this year....

Are You Ready For Many, Many More Years Of Chris Berman? ESPN Is.
Two months ago, there was buzz in Bristol that Chris Berman was on the verge of re-signing a big contract. Bristolites were surprised. First, his contract wasn't set to expire till May 2013, so why do anything 10 months before? Especially since ESPN let plenty of prominent contracts go down to the w...

Joe Biden Was Ecstatic When He Learned We Finally Got A College Football Playoff
We take a rare excursion away from sports today, as this screencap is simply too good not to post. The Vice President delivered a rousing acceptance speech for his re-nomination last night in Charlotte, though it's unclear exactly why he felt it necessary to do the Joker routine....

Brandon McCarthy Suffered A Skull Fracture, An Epidural Hemorrhage And A Brain Contusion
Yikes. When A's pitcher Brandon McCarthy took this line drive to the side of the head yesterday, we hoped for the best. He was able to sit up, then stand, then make his way off the field. The team said he never lost consciousness....

Like A Meaner, Braver, Less Funny <em>Bridesmaids</em>. <em>Bachelorette</em>, Reviewed.
1. In retrospect, the "surprising" success of Bridesmaids should have been the furthest thing from a surprise. It was a big, broad, audience-friendly comedy that made sure, in between all the poop jokes and the rampant silliness, that you liked all of its characters. It was ribald and bawdy, but nev...

Roger Goodell's Sanctimonious Pledge To "Make Everything Safer, Including Our Military"
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Jerry Jones, Job Creator, Has An Assistant Whose Job Is To Clean Jerry's Glasses
NBC provided a shot of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in his luxury box during last night's Dallas-Giants season opener, and eagle-eyed fans would notice a young man in a dangerously-unbuttoned shirt accepting Jones's glasses, polishing them, then handing them back....

Rob Ryan Has Some Words For You, And Those Words Appear To Be "Go For It, Fuckface"
When the Cowboys put up a strong goal-line stand in the second quarter of tonight's NFL season-opener against the Giants, Dallas defensive coordinator Rob Ryan had some excitedly profane things to say. He also, it appears, had some taunting to do toward the Giants' sideline. (That or he's urging ...

Dez Bryant Thought He Could Fool The Scab Refs Into Ruling This Catch A Touchdown
I've watched this play in HD maybe six or seven times, and it's clear that Dez Bryant is down on the turf in at least three different places (both knees and his right elbow) and perhaps also his left elbow, although it was inconclusive from the replay. Nonetheless, if you thought NFL players were ...

Yep, That's A Big Old "Fuck Y'All I'm From Texas" T-Shirt On The NFL Network
Just less than three hours until the Cowboys and Giants kick off the NFL season, which means the NFL Network's only got three more hours to give us Mike Mayock and LaDainian Tomlinson yammering away, live from a North Jersey parking lot. But take note of that dude in the background, the one who happ...

A Movie About Books Made By People Who Don't Read Them. <em>The Words</em>, Reviewed.
1. When my first book was published—and "published" is honestly being kind; it's probably more accurate to say it was "repeatedly photocopied"—perhaps the most common question family members asked me: So, are you going to go on Oprah? They were joking (I think), but something about their question wa...

Brandon McCarthy Took A Line Drive Right Above The Ear
It has not been the smoothest of 2012s for Brandon McCarthy, the talented Oakland starter. After a number of injury-plagued seasons, McCarthy began the year as the Athletics' opening day starter, only to hit the DL with a shoulder strain in May. A June return proved too soon, and he went on the DL a...

Jerry Sandusky's Attorney Wants To Bring His Lawyerin' Act To Television
It's been nearly three months since Jerry Sandusky was convicted of nearly all of the pedophilia charges against him, and in all that time there's been nary a wink out of Lawyerin' Joe Amendola, Sandusky's primary defense attorney. We gotta admit: We kinda miss the old lug....

Great Effort Was Put Into This Alabama High School Football Sign Accusing The Opponents Of Being Gay
ESPN covered a handful of high school football games Sunday in one last "get some ratings now before the NFL starts" grab, one being a matchup of Alabama teams as Spanish Fort used a late score to secure a 20-14 victory over Daphne High School....

Tuesday Night Fights: Why Are These Two Women Fighting In The Street? A.J. Daulerio Cracks The Case.
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Two fat women fighting in the street." Tonight's commentator: A.J. Daulerio, editor of Gawker, former editor of Deadspin, LSD enthusiast....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
![Texas A&M Erects Billboard In Gainesville Declaring Itself "Cleanest Program In The SEC" Prior To Aggies-Gators Matchup [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17y2uyo6sykcujpg.jpg)
Texas A&M Erects Billboard In Gainesville Declaring Itself "Cleanest Program In The SEC" Prior To Aggies-Gators Matchup [UPDATE]
Texas A & M gets its first taste of SEC football this Saturday as they host the Florida Gators in College Station, and the university apparently felt it necessary to welcome themselves to the conference with this billboard at a busy intersection in the northeast corner of Gainesville....

Paralympian Dives With Crutch To Make Amazing Table Tennis Shot
England's David Wetherill was born with multiple epiphyseal dysplasia, an extremely rare genetic disorder that restricts the growth of his bones. Just 23 years old, he's much shorter than average, lacks a full range of motion in his limbs (he can barely bend his legs, and requires crutches to walk...

It's Still Preseason For ESPN's Promo Department, Too
Monday Night Football starts in a week, and the Worldwide Leader started promoting its first week doubleheader this weekend during college football programming. (You know, the doubleheader that will star Chris Berman in the announcing booth.) That's not the only blunder ESPN's made with the opening...

Bernie, Of <i>Weekend At Bernie's</i> Fame, Threw Out The First Pitch In Oakland This Weekend
The Oakland A's have adopted the "Moves Like Bernie" dance. This is a "dance" popularized by some rapper featuring a plot point from Weekend At Bernie's II (Bernie's back...and still dead!): Bernie, a corpse, gets hit with some crazy voodoo in the beginning of the film and everytime he hears music ...